My girlfriend is not being honest with me

[yannick]

I was chatting with one of my girlfriend's friends, and yesterday she told me that they would go clubbing on Friday night. I was really surprised because I think that's pretty weird for her to go clubbing while we are together but I told her friends I wasn't mad because I know that boys shouldn't be too clingy and she has the right to hang out with her friends. I was just a little bit disappointed because my girlfriend already joked sometimes saying 'Oh yes, tonight I will go clubbing with sexy guys' just for kidding and make me a bit jealous. So I am not the biggest fan of her going to clubs but, well, I thought I could trust her.

Well, today, my girlfriend's friend told me that I shouldn't tell my girlfriend that she told me they would go clubbing. Apparently, when they talked today, my girlfriend (without knowing her friend had already told me) told her friend that she didn't want me to know about it. She said it was because she knows I don't want her to go clubbing.

I was ready to accept that my girlfriend was in her right to go clubbing with her friend, but now that I know she doesn't want me to know... it's a different story.

I would need your advice on this...

[SexX-Xgodess]

She is giving off major red flags. No, you cannot trust her. She is choosing to lie to you to get her way, and by lie I mean hiding the truth. This girl has a lot of cheating potential. I'm sorry but this is all it takes for me to think that she would not be against cheating on you: as long as you wouldn't find out. This girl is going to try to do whatever she wants and if it means not being honest with you, well then, she isn't going to be honest with you. Hope you haven't invested too much time and energy into this girl yet. You need to sit her down and be VERY SERIOUS, almost like you're going to break up with her. Don't threaten that and don't yell but make sure you make it very clear that you expect complete honesty in the relationship if it's going to go any further. It's okay to let her know what your deal breakers are especially if it's early into the relationship. Tell her it is NOT okay to lie or be deceitful in the relationship and if that's the way things are going to be then you don't want to date her anymore. Tell her, and she'll either change or ignore your request. Then you should know what to do from there!

[yannick]

Thanks for your advice, I totally agree with you. I confronted her and she said she was joking with her friend. I trust her, I am French, she is Korean and her friend is Chinese, and we are communicating with each other in English lol Miscommunication is pretty common and my girlfriend loves to joke, she apologized and said that it was a bad joke and that she was going to tell me and that the most fun she has is when she is spending time with me. But still, kind of a weird joke to make lol

[SexX-Xgodess]

LOL well I'm glad that cleared up so fast! Haha. P.S. What a combo!

[elle1]

she proberly didn't want you to know incase you didn't let her or rung her every 2 seconds while she was out or came out t find her if you thought she was taking to long. (something my friends boyfriend did) I personally think it's hard letting a boyfriend go out clubbing, because you don't know how drunk they going to get, if they are a big flirt and try to dance with chick or even hook up, or if they grab randoms asses or anything but I supose what your partner does while you are not aound you will never know but you just got to trust that they are a decent person.

[jincuj33]

Well it sounds like she's going to do what she wants regardless of what you think. The thought of other dudes grinding or kissing your girl is probably why you don't want her to go out, but maybe try reverse psychology on her and fully embracing her going to the clubs. Sit down and tell her you are 100% fine with her going to the clubs or whatever else because you trust her. She will see you as being mature about the situation and in turn will want to be on her best behavior when she goes out with the girls. On the other hand, she could see it as an open window to take advantage of your trust and cheat on you, but you are in luck with having one of her friends as an insider to get the scoop!

[sumina7]

Confront her on this. You need to know what is going on.

1. May be your girlfriend is hiding things from you. Then she can not be trusted.

2. May be the one who told you is lying. She might be trying to make you distrust your girlfriend so that she can have a go at you. Then she can not be trusted.

But YOU need to know!