My girlfriend keeps lying to me, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

i have been with a girl for 4 months now...and I really love her so much,and she told me that she loves me too... my problem is that she keeps on lying to me ,especially when its has to do with hanging with her male friends I caught her lying to me more than once and she says that she was afraid of me and that's why she lies although I didn't get angry with her (a little not much) and every time she promises me that she would be honest with me.

last time she promised is this Friday and today (Sunday) I caught her lying AGAIN to hang around with a male friend, so is there any way I could make her be honest with me?

[greeneyedgal]

Unless you tackle this serious issue NOW, your relationship will be in serious trouble. I am going to make a couple of assumptions and please correct me if I am wrong. Are you or do you get jealousy easily? Is it possible that you gave her this impression and thus she is hiding things? You indicated that at one point, you got a little angry when she said she was hanging out with guy friends. There have been no other occasions where you got more than a little mad?

If these things did happen then there has to be a consensus. If they didn't happen then you need to have one FINAL discussion with her. She needs to understand that trust is essential in a relationship. Once the trust is gone then most of the time the relationship will falter. I would give her one more chance to earn your trust and respect back. However, the moment she lies again then tell her it'll be over for good. Then, make good on this. Because, I can tell you that if she is lying about small things like this then she will probably lie about many other things.

The decision is yours.

[Asker]

Yes iam jealous but I can't help it...its kills me when I see her sitting close with another guy, I even get jealous when someone handshakes with her!

[greeneyedgal]

Thank you for your honesty. This is why she is hiding things but again it doesn't justify her lying. You are a guy and I know part of the jealousy stems from you knowing how a guy thinks. She doesn't know this. Just remember, she is with YOU and not them. I think if you educate her about how a guy thinks then she might approach things differently.

[Asker]

I swear I tried ....but every time I catch her lying it gets worse and I get these pictures of her cheating in my head every time she goes out without me :(...

thanks a lot for ur answers it really helped!

[audreymarie21]

1.) it's a little early in your relationship to really know if you love one another. I think you'd like to be in love, but it takes longer to know for sure.

2.) if you're having problems with her lying 4 months into the relationship, it isn't going to get any better later on.

[Anonymous]

you neec to set the boundries now early in your relationship. tell her that next time she lies its over. that's what by boyfriend did to me and I sure started telling the trut from there on.

[authentic]

"she told me that she loves me too... "

With so many other lies, how sensible is it to believe the above?

"she says that she was afraid of me "

If she is afraid of flunking an exam, that justifies her cheating? Lame excuse.

"so is there any way I could make her be honest with me?"

If her parents, friends, teachers ...etc. with all the years can't do it, I wouldn't place too much hope on that. The thing to watch out for yourself is, has this become a pattern for you? i.e. attracting liars as girlfriends. If it is, this is the real cause for concern. You need to find out why (e.g. your chilhood/parental experiences -- did one of your parents cheat the other) you attract/being attracted to, liars. And break the pattern/curse.

[Asker]

I don't know maybe ur right , my ex-girlfriend did usually lie to me and I broke up with her because of that ...but how could I be attracted to liars when I only find it out after we begin with a relationship?

[authentic]

Your subconscious mind works against your interest in this case. Why? Because a "like-a-liar" pattern was memorised, unvoluntarily, into it. How? You were probably exposed to this kind of relationship in the past, typically childhood. This link may help you >> https://www.girlsaskguys.com/Relationships-Questions/97660-why-do-men-cheat.html

[Anonymous]

If she's lied more than twice already you need to make her realise your not a push over or messing, try this, tell her you can't do with the lies anymore, and that you think you should break up, if she loves you and respects you she'll be devastated, if she doesn't then she won't and you will be better off, if she gets upsets and says sorry it won't happen again that's great but, make sure you say to her you need a couple of days to think about things. Trust me do this right and she won't do it again, I'f she does, get rid of her some people csnt help but lie, and if she can lie about something that's not much of a big deal then she can lie about anything, Good luck my friend hope it works out.

[Anonymous]

what is she saying?

for example does she say she is about to go to work, but instead hang out with some guy?

and how the hell do you know she isn't lying about being in love with you?

if she is doing stuff like that is probably cheating.

i would talk to her and see what happens.

after that decide wether or not it's worth it.

right now, 4 months in, things aren't going to get better.

if things don't change fast then you need to move on.

[Asker]

Well generally she says that she is going home or to see a female friend but it turns up that she is hanging around with a guy.

and yes I am sure that she loves me because once we had a fight and it was like we are going to break up..she called me crying and begging not to because she loves me.

[Opinion Owner]

Uh ... if she saying she is going home or to see a female friend, but ends up seeing a guy...its because a) she is cheating or b) you are incredibly jealous and she can't even tell you the truth because you'll get upset. if it's "b" then you need to work on that or you will ruin your relationship. jealousy breaks most relationships.

[Asker]

I guess its 'b' and I will try to fix that.

thx a lot :)