Shy guys: do you self sabotage?

[Anonymous]

when it comes to a girl you like, do you sabotage your chances?

If so, how do you do it?

Ex: If you're attracted to a girl, and she sends you a Facebook message will you not respond?

Or is that your way of showing her that you're not interested (even if you do pretty much all the other shy guy signs of attraction when you see her in person)

If you like a girl, and she starts showing interest will you get scared/anxious and ruin your chances?

Updates

+1 y

He did reply, but not until the day after, is that a good or bad sign? The message was sweet though, a lot of laughter and he used a few words that are only found in my dialect (in real life he does the same, says words and sentences in my dialect around me. started doing that a few weeks ago).

I'm assuming he knows I like him but I've never actually said it.

[markml]

There are many ways in which I self-sabotage, but that example is not one of them.

I would never ignore a message from a girl I was interested in. I might spend too much time deliberating over how to respond, but it would certainly be a top priority for me to respond.

I might even ignore a girl in person if I didn't know how to act around her, but I would not ignore a direct message from her.

It's very important to know the difference between Yellow Light signals and Red Light signals. Shy means a guy treats everything as a Yellow Light, he proceeds slowly with caution. But a Red Light is where the guy just stops, and that's never a good sign I'm afraid, regardless of if the guy is shy or not.

[Jonny_]

I always reply to messages right away and I don't get scared if she shows interest. But I self sabotage in a way like, I'd find it hard to initially believe that a girl may like me, and when I figure it out sometimes I'm a bit too late, or I may like a girl, but I can't talk to her... I have quite bad confidence depending on the girl, I like a girl at the moment but I think she's way too good for me and I feel like if I say anything wrong it'd wreck my chances so I'm lucky if I can even say hi and how are you to her. Believe me, I wish I had confidence to talk normally to her.

[JohnBelluci]

They do self sabotage.

They will find all the reasons why their initiatives could fail, instead of finding the courage to make a move... they discourage themselves and end up doing nothing.

[markml]

In reply to your update:

The rule is that a guy always has approximately 3 days to reply, as do you for that matter. If he waited a day, that's actually a good sign. Means he put some thought into it.

[Anonymous]

I'm quite the shy guy when it comes to women, but whenever a girl is showing interest, I always respond to it.

[doctorwhofan23]

I get scared and kind of ignore a girl I like.

[doctorwhofan23]

Sounds like a good sign.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely.

[Asker]

thanx for the reply but could you elaborate? I'm very curious to what the thought process behind this is. I thought it would be easier if you knew the girl liked you

[Opinion Owner]

It doesn't happen often so you really don't want to screw it up. In doing that, you screw it up unfortunately.

[Paul022]

Oh hell yeah for me I'm quite shy but when I know the girl likes me it does make the process so much easier. I'm hopeless at chasing and when I have done the chasing I've never succeeded. most of the girls I've been out with have come from them approaching me or their friends telling me they like me.

[Opinion Owner]

That wouldn't have worked for me either. I would have thought that they were screwing around with me. I'm a little too far gone at this point, I think.