Lied about smoking weed and my boyfriend is so mad at me now.

[Anonymous]

my boyfriend and I used to smoke weed a lot but then we both quit because we just grew out of it and honestly it does nothing for me anymore. my friends all still smoke a lot. I'm almost 24 so I'm over it but my friends arent, they still smoke all the time and I don't mind it at all I just don't participate even when I am with them. the other night after class I went to my friends house for dinner with a few of my friends and we smoked a little bit after eating. her brother rolled a joint and I smoked a little, but not enough to be high. like I said I don't like smoking anymore and I do not like the feeling of being high. my boyfriend could tell I had smoked but I told him we just drank some wine. the other night he brought it up again as I was getting ready to go to the bar with my friends and I tried to lie about it but he knew I was lying so I said OK yes I smoked a little bit. now he is not speaking to me, after calling me a lying piece of sh*t. I know I was wrong to lie but I didn't want him to be disappointed in me for smoking or think that I smoke behind his back all the time because that was the first time I'd smoked in MONTHS. I shouldn't have lied I was just embarrassed and now I made it worse by lying. what should I do? I Haven't tried to contact him because I know he is mad and needs time to cool down. do you think he is more mad at me for smoking weed or for lying about it? guys - how would you react if you were in this situation with your girlfriend?

[maiez]

I remember when I was 100% against smoking, I was extremely disappointed at my girl friends and ex. I wouldn't break up with someone just because they smoked rarely, but it certainly made me really stressed.

If a girl was lying to me I might break up with her because you really shouldn't lie to your s.o.

Now that I know what its like to be having smoked, I'm not against her for smoking, I am now indifferent, even though they smoke more than me (they do weekly, I do monthly).

[Asker]

so you think he is probably more mad at me for lying about it then actually smoking? this is my first time smoking in months, like I said I don't do it anymore. and I didn't want him to know about it because I didn't want him judging me or thinking I do it all the time.

[maiez]

Yes for sure lying is more harmful in the situation.

[ryanontario]

I don't know I wouldn't really want to be dating a girl who was out smoking weed all the time , I'd likely lose interest pretty quick as I'm not into drugs at all . I like to go to bars and party so sometimes I meet girls who are into this and it can be kind of awkward to deal with . I agree its more of a teenage thing to be out smoking pot but some older people still do it often

[Asker]

i don't smoke weed "all the time"... that was my first time smoking in months. I'm saying do you think he is upset that I lied about it or upset that I did it in the first place, or both.

[ryanontario]

my guess is likely both but lying might be why he was the most upset , but I'm not that familiar with the situation so only guessing