Boyfriend smokes weed?

[Anonymous]

I'm 18 and he's 19. This is also my first relationship. We've been together for a while now and I've known that he smoked weed since I met him. I had a really horrible experience being around someone who was high so I asked him to at least not smoke in front of me if he did go ahead and use. As long as I have someone else that I trust sober with me, I don't worry as much if others use. He had promised me that he wouldn't. We had a lengthy conversation about it before hand. Though, up until a friend of his offered him and he took it, knowing that I was right next to him. This was a get together where I knew no one but him. He says it was a stupid decision when I confronted him about it. But now I pretty much just take what he says about that with a grain of salt. He says he would stop smoking if I wanted him to but I also don't want to be that person who controls him. Am I overreacting?

Updates

+1 y

Should I just ask him to stop and see what goes from there? Break it off if he goes down that road again? We haven't had any problems other than this.

[SueShe]

Drugs are drugs, regardless of the name they bear. There is no such thing as "innocent" drugs.

The fact that he is a consumer of potentially addictive substances should be a total red flag and the reason why you have to rethink your relation.

They can promise as much as they want that they will stop. On the long run, this is not happening. You are stuck with a junkie and that is the sad truth.

Leave as long as you can and not too much damage has been done. If you don't, he will progressively attempt to tempt you and to "motivate" you to try it. I don't see a happy ending with a relation between a drugs consumer and one that does not.

[caring__1]

Learn from this experience, and in the future don't choose a partner if you're not comfortable with all aspects of the person. Unless it is self-motivated, people are unlikely to change. I respect your decision to not tell him to quit smoking, but your discomfort with the situation is eating you up. Either accept a person as is or choose another who fits what you are seeking. Your discomfort isn't coming from his choices, but from your choices. You are the one who is choosing to focus on what you believe could or should be. You'll be happier in all situations if you accept and make the most of what is rather than eat yourself up by dwelling on things out of your control. If you pay attention to your red flags prior to investing, you won't have such a hard time accepting what is or moving on.

[RemoErdosain]

Spot on

[RemoErdosain]

I think you should just break it off. He won't stop, and he doesn't respect you in the least if he accepted weed knowing fully well what your opinion on it was, and when you had no one else but him there, so he must've known you would feel completely alone. You're not overreacting at all: Drugs are a dangerous thing, and weed is way more dangerous than weed users will tell you.

[Asker]

The thing is also that we were both drinking at the time and that we had a different conversation that he said resulted in him thinking I was now apperantly cool with him doing that. I don't really buy it to be honest, but I don't know

[RemoErdosain]

Can you share some details about that conversation? The more, the better

[Agape93]

You’re not over reacting. You two had an agreement and he broke it right infront if you without a pause to consider. It was an impulse to him, and he will do that again. He can promise to stop all he wants, I’ve rarely ever heard of someone actually stopping. It’s always the same bs “it was just one! I haven’t had a hit in (insert amount of time)!”

[Mrobody]

if he has used more than 10 times , and he enjoys it with his friends , l dont think he would stop till he doesn't remember even his name get f. ed up by weed , repressed and mindly week.
so dont put ursel between him n wd.
if this is the only prob , help him. this is w revelations are for. as ex ! i smoked wd almorst in that age n one of the reasons i lost my girlfriend , was the weird behaviors came from wd n my mental illnes. heii be f. ed up if smokes regulary. . .

[bowenw]

If he has trouble holding down a job, paying bills, etc., smoking weed is likely a problem. Keep a close eye on the situation, but be prepared to break it off if you aren't happy.

[Anonymous]

Yes relax! It's weed it could be worse here could be an abusive alcoholic. Weeds for the most part harmless and really doesn't mess most people up to the point they can not properly function.

[Avicenna]

It’s reasonable to tell him you want him to stop

[magiusX26]

i dont think your over reacting