Do you ever have the urge to "dominate" others?

[ladsin]

I have a theory that all people do, although I in psych classes I've taken I don't believe that there has been a study to prove it.

The argument may be made that some people have dominant personalities and some submissive, however the submissive rarely (from what I've seen) is truly submissive, they are submissive to a point, however do not like to be pushed past that point meaning they in turn want to be dominant in their own life. (I apologize if my rational sounds off I'm a little tired) anyway wondering y'alls opinions

Yes, I always have this urge

Yes, I sometimes have this urge

I never have the urge

Updates

+1 y

It is also often said that the submissive holds all the power in a relationship, because they can leave, thus the dominant has a "need" for their submissive

Updates

+1 y

I meant in normal social interactions... not sexual particularly although sexual could obviously also be included

[alchemy12]

I'm pretty laid back unless there's some competition involved. I don't feel the need to dominate others but I'm really not interested in being dominated either.

Then again, people who try to tell me what to do just because they're naturally bossy drive me crazy (hello ENTJs).

@update, if one is truly submissive they wouldn't be leaving of their own accord. In terms of power, the submissive would also have a need to be dominated so I don't think it's true that the submissive holds all the power.

[vishna]

Yeah, one time (in like 5th grade) I had a thought run cross my mind, it was something like this 'yeah, I'm gonna be in control in this friendship'

what a twisted little twerp right?

That however was really weird...and that was the only time it ever happened, still-I was a weird kid apparently

[ladsin]

haha to my theory doesn't mean weird, just human XP

[vishna]

People are weird. Crazy apes...

[DaniJ]

In some ways, although not in an aggressive way in any kind. I am too scatterbrained to have any sort of control of anyone else other than myself, so I'm much more comfortable following someone else's lead, though I do need a sense of control in my own life.

[JohnnySS]

ppl want to dominate other because of insecurity. as for genetic disposition there may be traits that contribute to the title of dominant/aggressive or whatever.

we know that women are by genetic disposition submissive to males so males must be dominant by disposition

studies are bullshit a lot of the time. it will take 4ever till the scientists really do something for society on a grand scale besides the gov stranglesppl with their bs laws to keep the power.

[ladsin]

Well yes a study like this would take a lot of time for test size and various variables, but I don't deem dominant tendencies to be stemmed from insecurity always... many people who are comfortable with themselves can still feel this urge, look at some of the great world leaders throughout history

[JohnnySS]

there are probably several factors.

[RedThread]

Do I ever have the urge to? Maybe but only to those who have wronged people I care about. I would never act on it though. I wouldn't say I'm submissive or dominant by nature. I've always been kind of in the middle. I'm not looking to lead anyone or be led. I just want to talk things out as equals without conflict lol

[ladsin]

of course I wasn't saying that people had to be either or, realistically I'd say the majority of people fall in the middle with some traits of both and only people with psychological defects would be solely dominant or submissive

[Jonny_]

I switch between the urge, for the most part I'm very submissive and am happy to take the back seat in many things. But there are a few occasions where I will try to command what is going on, especially in team sport or something I'm particular fond of or something I have a good knowledge of. That is generally when I'm drawn towards being dominant.

[Cheeseburgers]

I emphatically agree, it seems to be fundamental behavior for us primates.

You can also notice this in children as young as two years old.

Basically, immediately when they are cognitively capable of socializing.

[ladsin]

of course, just watching how children play with their toys (particularly dolls) I think proves this theory

[Phoenix98]

Never really felt the urge to dominate people most likely because I know I could if I wanted but I am not that kind of person. But I am sure as hell not submissive either you give me shit and I'll beat it out of you.

[ladsin]

this isn't about want or ability just about whether you sometimes get the feeling too, I find myself in a similar boat as you, very kind but could. Every now and again however I believe I sometimes get these "notions" about it, not that I'd ever act upon them

[OnceUponADream143]

I am pretty submissive because I am shy and dislike conflict.

[ladsin]

just because your shy doesn't mean you don't have the urge to "dominate" others... plenty of psychopaths are "shy" but still have urges to dominate

[pooper89]

yeah I've been told I have a strong personality and I like to take on leadership and tell people what to do . And I often have a problem accepting authority from others

[ProTraceurDGDJ]

Hence your profile pic. (:

[pooper89]

No.

[ProTraceurDGDJ]

Well I thought cats were independent & didn't listen to authority I guess I was wrong :/

[pooper89]

NO

[pooper89]

Dude I'm just kidding with you lol

[ProTraceurDGDJ]

It took me awhile but I figured it out when I realized that your profile pic was the grumpy cat. I'm dense sometimes. (:

[pooper89]

haha no worries. hakuna matata

[ProTraceurDGDJ]

Yes when there's a girl I really like I want to pound her brains out & give her the roughest fucking of her entire life. I love having sex with women like a Lion pouncing on a Gazelle...

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

Well I guess I do because I feel the need to win or I always end up leading. I'm also a bit of a control freak and it's my way or the highway.

[ProTraceurDGDJ]

was he asking us about how we interact with other people on a social basis I thought he meant like during sex :/

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

I thought it was just basic social interactions but in the peramiters of a relationship?

[ClearlyCanadian]

I have the urge to get what I want. If that requires some form of domination, so be it; but the act of domination itself means little to me, just another tool that sometimes works best and others doesn't depending on the situation.

[Anonymous]

I often do like to dominate. It is fun to choke a bit, pull hair and to slap her around a bit.

[Opinion Owner]

I take charge of the relationship but not sure if it is the same as domination. I have too much fun to bother with that.

[loda1994]

my friend has the urge to be submissive.

[ihatethiswebsite]

No I've never thought that

[tiredofwaiting]

No never ever!

[tiredofwaiting]

There NEEDS to be boundaries in a HEALTHY relationship.

[ladsin]

lol again not really talking about relationships (as I stated before this is in all human interaction so dating can count but not really what I'm looking for) For example I am usually a submissive guy, I let other people decide where we go, what we do etc. However, I still sometimes have the urge to assert myself as a dominant or be the "alpha male." Personally I think this applies to all people (except perhaps people with a psychosis) because this drive would be what led humans to be the domina

[ladsin]

species on the planet. Not having this urge in my opinion would be detrimental to the person themselves and to the human race (obviously with our size it doesn't matter much but originally) hopefully this will clarify?

[Anonymous]

No I like being dominated

[ProTraceurDGDJ]

That's a good girl. (;

[Anonymous]

No for the most part I'm pretty laid back