Why do some people have a pathological need to control others?

[msc545]

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2 mo

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[KrazyKate]

Because they are selfish and lack emotional intelligence/empathy. They control everyone else so they don't have to change or control themselves. They put themselves above anyone and since they lack empathy they do not care what they have to do to others to get what they want.

And I don't believe it's because they have ever felt powerless or their past experiences because someone with emotional intelligence/empathy would never control someone else especially if they themselves have been controlled and felt powerless because they know how it feels. Instead they control themselves by changing their environment, their circumstances and change internally by becoming more observant, less trusting and less accessible.

[thegreenyogi]

Because it gives them a sense of power and I think it cokes from deep insecurities or having experienced circumstances where that person was made to feel powerless.

[thegreenyogi]

Thank you!

[MisterWack]

When people sense power or control is slipping in their lives, they feel the need to get it sourced from some place else.

The power and control onto others may come from unstable relationships, unpredictable circumstances, or general insecurities that may affect them. Instead of talking it out or finding coping mechanisms, they lash out and intervene in others’ lives.

I don't know if I’m saying it right, but it feels like that’s the case.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I believe the reasons can be found somewhere in their life story

[msc545]

That is probably true. Where do you think such reasons would be found in someone's life story? And what would they consist of in your ideas?

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I would think about childhood events. Plus, as 2 other people suggested, I would think about events producing powerlessness, being left alone, assault from trusted relatives, controlling caregivers...

[Sevenpointfive]

i think it's because we know what's best for ourselves. at least we think that we do. so when others don't do what we would do, it's engrained in us to show them the proper way. it's like a parent teaching a child. that's it at it's most base form. it can be seen as controlling for someone that was sure that they knew what they were doing.

the only proper way to get past this is communication.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I don't know but I notice it manifests differently in person to person.

My bet says the common thread is anxiety. But who knows.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Probably they have trust issues and it stems from their anxiety that if they don’t, they’ll get some terrifying results…

[BrittneyHl]

I don't know but its pretty sad that they feel that way

[MrChinaski]

It saves them the hard work of building themselves a life they have reason to value.

Editorial note: delete 'have a pathological'. My answer stands.

[msc545]

I actually included the term pathological because I think that there are non-pathological instances of this as well. It is the pathological ones that concern me.

[Staximus]

There's only a couple things worse, the need for power (megalomaniac control freaks) and the need to hurt or kill people

[Kelly6]

@msc545 Maybe they have some issues during their childhood

[Agape93]

To regain a sense of control in life and the environment around us.

[LC75LC71]

Because they can't control themselves. It all falls like a house of cards.

[nolabels]

That'd be so nice to know, wouldn't it?