I do not understand what this girl wants? She is playing hot and cold?

[Anonymous]

I sometimes really don't understand this girl. We talk pretty much everyday. She starts probably about half of the conversations. But she'll go hot and cold with texting me. She'll text me a ton for like a week and then for a couple days she'll act really distant. But she will still text me first during that time.

Like today she sent me "yaaay Thursday!" And I was working so I responded like 20 minutes later but then the rest of the day she would send short responses that kind of killed the conversation. She texted me yesterday to tell me about a nightmare she had but then the conversation was over pretty quick.

She's pretty shy person and I don't think does well with intimacy, I don't either though. She's out of town on an internship right now, so we mainly just text. We have a bunch of have a bunch of stuff planned to do together this summer much of which she planned.

But would a girl, especially a shy one, play hot and cold like this with a guy they like? Like she still texts me first and stuff and will tell mean out random weird stuff that happens but then the conversation will just die. But then the next week we are talking fine. It's difficult since this is a long distance thing and should improve when she moves back next month.

Girls, any input?

[knowmeyourself]

Well, there are multiple explanations to her behavior. Possible scenarios are:

1- She likes you a lot hence why she's keen on texting you first half the time. BUT she is afraid you may think she's easy to get hence why she swings between interested and not that interested throughout the same day. She may have had a friend tell her that texting all the time, being herself, being spontaneous is not a smart thing to do because the guy will lose interest. Yup, friends sometimes give the most stupid advice ever. So, one time she's all interested but then she switches off and acts all disinterested. Briefly, she's playing a little hard to get as to keep you attached the whole time. Making the guy wonder or making him wait for the next call/message is one of the games girls *may* use to make the guy more interested.

2- She is like that with everyone. I have girl friends who keep on texting then suddenly disappear. Hahaha. People have different texting behavior. They don't really pay much attention to texting.

I think if she likes you, she should be keen on maintaining contact with you while she's away. It's good that she's far away now. THAT will let you know if she's really interested or not. Use that time in your favor by observing how she acts. Act normal and everything. If what she does bothers you, you may tell her nicely. If it doesn't bother you that much, then be normal and enjoy the texts and calls.

Hope this helps. :)

[Asker]

Yea one time I decided not to text her for a couple days, from like Friday to Sunday, I was planning on texting her Sunday but I woke up and she had already texted me. She does maintain contact a lot. When she isn't texting me she is almost always either sending me pins or snapchats. She has posted a couple status' and tweets about me, something she doesn't do for other people, most of them are calling me out on something stupid or weird that I said or did (which doesn't bother me at all). I just don't want her to lose interest before she gets back. Like I said we already have plans to see like 5 movies, go to a concert, I'm taking her to these two local restaurants that she hasn't had since she moved away and I am planning on asking her to my cousin's wedding that is this summer.

[knowmeyourself]

She likes you and that's why she's keeping contact. If she didn't do that, you'll lose interest which is something she understands. I think you're doing a good job in dealing with her. If she ignores your texts/calls, don't text/call for a while. Let her understand that you're not waiting around for her to call/text. It's good that you have plans. I hope you guys enjoy your time together. :)

[knowmeyourself]

Thanks for MH. :)

[rachael19]

I played hot and cold like this with a guy i REALLY liked, for about a year, in this time he really tried his best to date me but because i'm shy and lack confidence i refused dates and wouldn't meet him. some days i would ignore calls/texts then the next minute i'd be hot again. He never even kissed another girl during this whole year and i kissed afew guys, even though i liked him a lot...in the end he assumed i was playing games and moved on, he's been with his gf a long time now and i STILL regret acting hot and cold with him for so long, i miss him, sounds like this girl will too.

[Paris13]

She most likely has a lot of different things on her mind, and may be distracted One minute, and the next minute she is okay. But at Least she IS texting, so so far you are pushing all the right buttons with her. Don't sweat this Nor over think about on and off water works show right now.
And you are probably right. Once she is back in town and you can even see one another, more face to face will make "hot and cold" More of an even Flow for you both.xx

[Prilee1992]

In my opinion, I think that the 'texting' this is overrated, assuming everytime a girl texts/calls you she's interested at you, and then you invite her-set a date for definite place/date. If she's interested, cool, if not, leave it.