Why all the hate? I don’t get it.

[Knighted2170]

I'm seeing more takes after take and it seems like it’s just “women are like this because” and “men are like this because.” Then the take just seems to go off on a rant with preconceived notions of nothing but hate or contempt for the other side.

Then we get into the comments and those are filled with nothing but hate as well. “Your nothing more than a simp.” or “You wanna spread your legs to keep him.” Really? This is what the world has come to.

One side is trying to do nothing more than manipulating the other side to either get money or sex?

I don’t even read anonymous questions or takes anymore. I skip right over them because the person posting is more than likely just a troll looking to espouse their views and attack anything remotely constructive. The only anonymous I recently replied to was to a topic I recognized from a previous posting (for anyone that's checking).

Try posting a take that might actually help and lend some insight as male and you get attacked as “mansplaining” or a “white knight” or “simp” even though the information comes from multiple sources of verified research. Even worse, try posting the same information as a woman. The attacks become even harsher and hate-filled. On the takes and questions, I have most recently done I won’t allow anonymous comments anymore. Want to say something, say it with your actual profile.

It seems like people thrive on the polarization of myths, rumors, or downright not true. Instead of trying to do something which could potentially help people lead a much happier life. It seems like most people just want to hide behind their anonymous posts and tear others down to feel better about their myopic (that’s a dictionary word) lives.

It seems like more of this site is about spreading how to spread being a narcissist and abuser of the opposite sex than trying to understand. Dare to try and post something that lends to understanding and the trolls come out of the woodwork. Not only do they fill the comments, but they also come after the commenters.

There was a time when this site was about asking a question and getting real constructive unbiased advice. Posting a take that would lend insight into a specific topic and you could get real feedback from different points of view without being attacked. It’s not like that today.

Try it today and you get accusation comments that you are simp. Even though I doubt most of those that toss that word around probably don’t know the actual definition. A “beta” even though it doesn’t exist (neither does “alpha” for that matter). That you are a bitch, gold-digger, whore, slut, catty, or some other dehumanizing gender-linked derogatory term.

I don’t get it.

Just because this is a site that open to public use and there is a protected thing called free speech (in roughly 33 countries), it doesn’t mean you have free license to say whatever you want to whomever you want (oooh, legal shit).

This site is owned by a private company and gives public access. The company could legally remove and restrict whatever it wanted to. In their discretion, they choose not to.

However, being polarizing, divisive, and offensive just because one can be doesn’t make it okay. The spreading of half-truths, rumors, categorical lies or myths, does nothing but cause a larger divide in what is already divisive enough on its own.

There are people out there seeking real solutions to real problems. They don’t need the trolls leaving B.S. obscene or abusive comments. They don’t need people posting takes that men will always cheat if the girl won’t give him a BJ every night or that women only want money and attention as if it some kind of scientific universal maxim (another dictionary word).

Why has this become an accepted norm? Why is hate, dehumanization, and obscenity towards others so well accepted on this site now?

[Lliam]

Really good MyTake, Knighted2170. Kudos.

There are a lot of damaged people. Social media has given them an outlet to rage. Instead of looking inward at how to improve and become more successful - to be better human beings - they not only lash out, but also seek affirmation for their antisocial attitudes. They seek to cause pain because they, themselves, are in pain. Bringing others down to their level gives them a sense of power.

There have always been people like that. They were the vandals, sadists and narcissists. Before internet, such people were quickly discovered and wound up slithering around the fringes of society. With the advent of social media, however, they have an outlet to advertise their toxic views and even seek virtual allies. They can troll to their heart's content.

Sites like GAG that don't engage in much censorship are prime targets for the damaged people who spew hate. But I'll take that over censorship. I don't want authorities protecting me from the thoughts of others. I'd rather the trolls be exposed to the light of day, to know they exist and to hear their pathetic cries. They serve as negative role models by showing others how not to be. Their views spur others to express healthy views in response. I love that.

It's sad when people seek excuses for their own failures. They blame others and resort to bigotry. We can see this played out more and more in society with various movements that demonize men, women, different races, religions and ethnicities, political affiliations, and values. Everything is someone else's fault and people feel justified in screaming at each other. That behavior is exemplified by politicians, mainstream media and entertainment. So many lies. So much hate, violence and divisiveness. Where are the positive role models?

On the bright side, without internet, truth would not be available and divisiveness would get only worse. Despite the toxic trolls that you discussed, really good people are in the majority. And with internet it's possible to connect with some of the most honest, intelligent, informed, big hearted people on the planet.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

👏👏👏THANK YOU!! Couldn't of said it any better than you just did. I agree so much with everything you said. You took the thoughts out of my head ave the words out of my mouth. Because I've posted about this as well. And then they attack you instead of the people that stir up hate. Hate is bad enough. But it's the misinfornation/falsehoods that bother me the most. We are in an age and time where a lot of young people spend more time online than interacting with people in the real world, so for some of these young people what they learn or believe about the opposite gender cones from what they hear online. I don't know what's worse, the perk people that do so out of their bias and hatred of the opposite sex or the people that purposely try to rile people up for sport, attention, click bait or likes. But ready, no matter the reason, the end result is the same.. ruins what could be a great site avid a great tool to readout help men and women better understand one another, have more empathy for one another instead of turning every issue into an attack or a competition of which gender has it worse, or which is the worse gender... Thankyou for posting this great take!!🙏💛💛

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Okay so new phone still having typos so it's me lolol
*but really
*and
*to really help

[Knighted2170]

Welcome!! I saw some of your takes and they inspired this one.

I know from my own personal experience and those that I work with (toot, toot) that a little understanding, a bit of paying attention, can go a long way.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks for mh

[TheSpaceGnome]

This is a very well written mytake, I agree with just about all of it (though I do think gold digging is an actual problem and that love should come first, I just also don't think a mom who does housekeeping is a gold digger for wanting financial support).


I would love to see a mytake about how a nerd/geek/gamer/artist could find another nerd/geek/gamer/artist to date when both barely leave the house outside responsibilities.


It would need to be directed at people in their 30s who are done with college, have no one at work they are interested in, don't drink so bars aren't and option, and never found the right match. This is something I personally struggle with these days and I would welcome any actual constructive ideas on specifically how to increase my exposure to nerdy single women.


I feel like a lot of relationship advice mytakes are about "how to change into what we think you should be" or "how to lower (or raise) your standards" or "how to be a real man/woman" and none of that is helpful.


Their is too much bias opinion in advice these days, it feels less like advice and more like peer pressure intended to mold people into the advice giver's ideals. When whats actually needed is "oh so thats what you want, well the best way to get that is do this".

[Knighted2170]

I see what you're saying. I think I might have something. Not sure if I can fit it into a MyTake or not. I might be able to do an episode on it. PM me so I have a clearer picture of what you are looking for. I don't want to do something that isn't helpful or misses the mark.

[Massageman]

RIght!

Even the "do you love or hate this ____________" (fill in a noun) questions.
Couldn't we even have a choice for "meh"?

SO MANY THINGS are being put in 0-100%, B/W, yes/no contexts, and many of them really shouldn't be. Does someone love or hate golf? Well, when they balance the exercise vs the cost and frustration, they may give it 2/5 stars. Is that "love" or "hate"? It's more of a "I don't dislike it, but I'd rather do without it." OHHHHH. You meant golf on TV!!! Oh THAT I love! Really? 100% of the time in 100% of the circumstances?

We so frequently speak of so many things that are really on a continuum and NOT an either or 0 or 100% rating.

We HAVE this "hate" because our society concedes to this "hate", the media controls and PROMOTES the hate, and the politicians USE the hate to stay in a highly position accomplishing nothing to FIX the hate after CREATING so much of it THEMSELVES. Don't like something? Fine - march into an expressway, take away the rights of thousands so you are noticed. Now, those thousands will be hating YOU and those who stopped the traffic with you! Any they are more right than you! We forget that our rights ends where someone else's begins. If people would respect that boundary, and get back to the thinking and actions that God wants us to follow, live would be more nicer for all.

[hi_it_is_me123]

If i have not lovely men such as my dad, brother, etc around me and also some good guys online, i would become huge feminazi because of these fucking incels on gag and spread real hate towards men. Yes, real hate. Nowdays every shit is antiman. The new swjs are so called anti feminists/anti swjs since they get triggered whenever the topic is about feminism, women, liberals etc. Whenever i ask a question about women's problem, idiots get annoyed just because i dont talk about man's problem. When i does, i still get hate by these idiots. I dont even have to talk about man's problem. Talking about woman's issues and male hypocrisy ain't antiman. Asking questions about men is not antiman. Saying some men and not all/many guys ain't antiman. I swear even when i dont generalize, and just say some men, i make idiots angry like wtf.

[Knighted2170]

Yeah, this happens to me as well. I even put in "not all" in an effort to be clear, and it seems like they skip right over that part.

[Crazybeeguy]

I made a comment about a friend of mine that wanted to be a physics professor. I said she was smart but made dumb decisions when it came to guys. The person I posted the comment to try to explain to me why she was still a dumb women. Wanting to be a professor is not the same as becoming one. That he also "smelled" entitlement from me because I was defending her. I didn't bother replying to his stupidity. I will let his ignorance on women, keep him lonely.
I tried to educate him on being a positive influence on any women in his life. You would be amazed on what a women can do and accomplish if she was nurtured the right way. Maybe he is insecure that he is not as "awesome" as he says he is?

[Alyssa11]

Most people who spend their time on the internet and on a forum like this are single and butt hurt from the opposite sex. That’s literally why. There’s so many misogynistic men on here, and at first it surprised me, but now I just ignore it.


Obviously not everyone on GAG is like this. For instance I’m not, as I’m sure many others aren’t.

[thathonestman]

People hate when they are not happy within their own lives. When they have a void to fill, someone or something is hurting them or they are just in general dissatisfied with their lives. I have a circle of friends, most of which have very good lives and none of them express hate and angst except for one of them.

The one I’m referring to is 39 years old, lives at home with his parents, spent years in a toxic workplace and still can’t seem to get out of his own way in relationships.

This is where it stems from.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

Because they don't have anything better to do. I can definitely tell you that most stuff on here doesn't help a person like me and I'm only like 21. I just shake my head at things like what you mentioned. But that's because part of me says "Well, that's not true. We know that there's better then what this person had described." Also, if you're wondering what a simp is it's "a silly or foolish person" as said by the dictionary. I personally think we should have more fun mytakes on here.

[Splatzonelover1]

Must people who are supported of modern femmist will always hate on man or joke about. Other times people are troll because they don't have a good family home and always find a exuss to blame someone else instead of them. It child game for both men and wime with gender wars.

[exitseven]

When I first joined GaG I posted a question that was not really controversial i wanted to know if guys were okay with hitting a woman. i was attacked, called a simp. blamed me for the problems of the world etc. I almost deleted my profile because I just don't need that stuff in my life.

[FilmGuy93]

I have noticed a huge amount of anger in society too. I don't know why people have gotten so frustrated and vocally angry, but I wish it would stop. I feel like 95% of these problems could be resolved by simply noticing and appreciating the effort that the opposite sex is putting in.

[Bean2thousand]

If you really think girls want guy's opinions, then this is probably why you are not successful in your relations with women and need a site like this. I'm sorry that abusive trolls have taken this away from you. Perhaps you should hire an escort to listen to your takes on life.

[Knighted2170]

LOL, that's funny.

[Xoirwinkan]

Everyone has their prejudices, and often the people who claim the "virtue" of acceptance are just as one-sided as "bigots", because they hate people who disagree with them. This is the time of entitled daisies with such thin skin their can't take a single comment they disagree with without shooting their top.

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

Women are getting a lot of hate because they are of substantially lower quality than they historically have been and they are demanding perfection from men as a base requirement. Women are throwing hate back at men because women rarely ever learn to take responsibility for their actions or to grow and improve as people.

[jerdanro]

Great take. This is what I have been saying for a long time, but not as successfully as you just did. I think the shift you mention is indicative of the shift in society at large.

[Shihab91]

yeah, gender war is stupid, but don't make the internet gives you a bad image. there still decent guys and girls out there

[Knighted2170]

I know there are, I meet a lot of them in real life. I was mainly talking about this site. It used to be really good. Now it's just mostly anti-whatever hate.

[Shihab91]

Yeah it was really good site 4 years ago

[Knighted2170]

That's about when I joined.

[Shihab91]

Same but i left and then i came back few months ago.

[Knighted2170]

I only stayed because I have a few friends who I message on a regular basis. I only came back to the front end because I got bored one day. If it wasn't for those few, I probably would have disappeared long ago.

[Shihab91]

Yeah i like this website there are good people here you can learn from them.

[bulletbob555]

I feel that for some people its much easier to say all men or women are a ceartain way than to say they were wrong or the chose the wrong person. Kinda like the the meme truth being a bitter pill to swallow

[zagor]

If you are waiting for the world to get smarter or more civilized I hope you are a very patient individual.

[kevyhanma]

It’s like the purge with words

Get it out your system I say don’t ignore or pretend anymore being honest is the only way we can move forward as a species

[NYCQuestions1976]

People are drawn in, and entertained by, drama. Even more so online.

[bamesjond0069]

You think like a woman. Hardly anyone says or means all. And its quite clear. you're one of those "get offended by everything types" congrats