Age Discrimination; A Voice for the Young

[Anonymous]

Here on GaG, there appears to be a war between the older and younger users. A few older users (18+) believe anyone under 16 shouldn't be allowed on this website and that they have nothing of value to say because they've had no life experience. Younger users (13-15) are starting to feel this austerity, making them feel undervalued and affecting the enjoyment they receive from GaG.

Many questions have been put to users to ask how they feel about younger users being allowed to use this site. The opinions vary but there are still many older users who appreciate young users and welcome them with open arms.

This question poll was asked by @Prof_Don concerning younger users and 51% of respondants believed that the minimum age should've remained at 16. However, the Most Helpful Opinion, eloquently written by @Stacyzee, showed her support of young users and for good reason.

I think it's great.
When I was that age I was very curious about sex and other adult topics.
The older generation spends so much time trying to shelter the up and coming instead of showing them what's really out there.
We can use this to our advantage and educate the younger people on how to properly go about things such as sex, relationships etc.
A lot of younger people wish they had older siblings or an adult figure to speak to.
I see it has an opportunity for some younger people to get the mentoring they really need.
Shaming themselves, and hiding in the background where they can speak to no one about certain topics causes more destruction if any.

Right now, all topics seem to be available to users of any age. A large number of users who think that people under 16 shouldn't be on GaG are only looking out for the younger users because GaG contains a lot of sexually explicit content which can occasionally shock an older user, let alone a young one. Younger users should consider this fact and not be disheartened at the statistics if they come across questions like this; we're looking out for you!

Alternatively, there are those who don't want younger users here purely because they feel they have nothing of value to say and don't believe they could provide useful information to most users, because they don't have much life experience. It could be argued that this is an understandable point of view and I don't entirely disagree with those who have this opinion but, someone's experiences and abilities should not be undermined because of their age.

Have you ever been told "you're wiser beyond your years" or that you're an "old soul", even when you were quite young? I have and it's incredibly frustrating to not be listened to or considered, purely because of your age. Others assume you have nothing of importance to contribute to a discussion because you haven't had as much life experience. However, some people have difficult upbringings, very mature social surroundings, have had to take care of a family member from a young age etc which all influences a person's maturity level. Age does become just a number in those cases. I'm sure others have been in this position and I know of GaG users who are currently in this situation, dealing with prejudice because of their age alone.

I've been told by younger users how they've been treated by some older users; they recieve a lot of ridicule on the opinions they post. It's one thing to to dislike having younger users on this site but it's another to alienate and mistreat young users when they've gone out of their way to help you.

The young need help from the older generation to avoid the big mistakes we made and to learn about adult life when they're at their vulnerable, curious age that we all once were. GaG is a great place for them to get the advice and information they need/want. We can all benefit each other. Age shouldn't mean anything here on GaG and it certainly doesn't tell you much about the person's character. You can be in your 30's and feel like a 16 year old at heart, you can also be an old soul like I was, thinking and behaving wiser than your years. I've seen 18 year olds acting like the stereotypical 12 year old and vice versa. People don't always act their age and this includes the young who behave older than they are.

I ask the older users of GaG to be more considerate towards the younger users. If a young person gives you advice on your question but you feel it's of no help or you assume they don't understand where you're coming from because they're young, don't express your disdain. Instead, don't say anything or politely thank them for their time. Treat them like you would other users. Let's try to stop younger users feeling alienated and make sure all users enjoy their time on GaG!

[Red_Arrow]

One primary problem is that inappropriate contacts and messages can come from sexual openness with children who are legally too young to make those decisions. that is bad in itself, but G@G could be considered as aiding that. Before, the younger ones could not participate in sexual topics. but now, it is wide open. When it first changed, I saw many men shying away from such conversations and stating they would not get into those conversations with under age members. recently I have seen an anything goes attitude and it is scary. So from the protection of minors issue, I see problems.

As for their maturity, I recognize that some "kids" may be more mature than many "adults". But what I see here is that MOST young people think that they are just as qualified to evaluate what is good or right as adults who have decades of life experience on them. The argument that is really scary and frightening is "I may only be 14 but I have had sex with 30 guys so I know everything." Exaggeration? Only a little. I have seen almost those exact words used on here. And often when the person giving advice is older, the younger ones will say "You are too old to understand." Huh? All of us that are older were younger once. We know the feelings that we had at that age. And we know the mistakes we made then. But too many kids (now as in the past) have a mistrust of older people, even though common sense should tell them that we have the experience. We may not always be right (I will be the first one to say it), but chances are we can get it right quite often.
And if it is expressed often enough, why do they still ignore us.

For a while I was "scared" to share any wisdom just because of the appearance of impropriety. I do share things now, but try to be much more careful when dealing with young users. Maybe if more of the younger set would express their feelings when they see other younger people dissing others for their advice, then the older crowd could accept young people on here.

[TomorrowsDream]

Best answer.

[molonski2]

Yep , I can't add to that you have summarised perfectly. I feel I must avoid topics that have been addressed by under 18 to be honest , it just does not seem right.

Best answer agreed.

[RainbowFanGirl]

We can be just as mature as someone who is over 18. We should be able to be taken seriously as well, and it's kind of sad that we aren't. I believe that GaG can be somewhat used as an educational tool for relationship experience and sex. It shouldn't be censored.

Now, if younger users are trying to hook up with older men and women, that it when it should become an issue. That is unacceptable and should be monitored.

[Unit1]

Well said

[Red_Arrow]

Yet, if younger users are PMing older users, then how is it monitored? The readers will not see it happening. And from some of the posts, I get the impression lots of older men are PMing the young gals and that also is undetected unless she complains. Also, so often I see young girls suggesting they want to have relationships with older men, and man on G@G cheer them on. Can't see that the monitoring is working.

[RainbowFanGirl]

@Red_Arrow I know, I was talking about those older men. They're comments should be monitored, and sketchy PMs should be able to be reported.

[Red_Arrow]

But when the younger person is willing to participate or even beginning the inappropriate PMs who is ther to report it?

[RainbowFanGirl]

Good point.

[lumos]

Yeahhh as long as I'm not helping 14 year olds to have sex idgaf about age.

[Pink2000]

Some under 18s make us look bad...

[Philosopher_Edge]

For me it's not the age group that defines the level of validity in the questions being asked or the advice being given. Everyone has seen stuff in their lives at any age. The difference is, the older you get, the more you've seen.

Personally, I try to avoid getting into conversation with young folk under 18 because... In other circumstances it could be viewed as illegal. So I don't get involved in conversations with people under 18.

Being 37, I'm also a lot less likely to accept opinions from people under the age of 26 or 27. There are individuals in that age range that have done things I haven't seen things I haven't, experienced things I haven't that I can learn from. But just by being alive longer, I have seen a lot of stuff.

People in their late 20's to early 30's I'd listen to a lot more since they are closer to my age bracket and have had similar childhoods, growing experiences and get similar cultural references. I can communicate with and relate to them better.

People in their mid 30's to early 40's are people I relate to the easiest.

But at the same time, if I knew someone with children, I would never offer advice to them since I don't have children myself. I have no insight to offer them about raising children. So I won't offer it.

I would offer advice to people who have been in relationships, who have been married, getting divorced or trying to survive after one. I've been there and done that, so I can offer insight to that. If someone were to offer me advice on marriage and divorce who's never been married and thus never been divorced... I'd tell them they are off their rocker and have no clue what the fuck they are talking about.

My personal insight into aging (which has really nothing to do with this) is that reading a lot of the questions and answers given by young people (25 and under) about 'does he like me?' 'How do I get her to like me?' 'What kinds of hints can I drop to get him to notice me' The simple answer is always 'just ask.'

[Stacyzee]

I'm glad that you wrote this take. It's about time someone took a public stand for the younger generation and a widely seen one at that.
I'm glad you looked at this topic with different perspectives.
It's great you stated that teens can have a mature outlook (which are contributed by many factors in their lives).
It's also great that you stated although someone is of age , that doesn't mean there is credibility to what they say because despite their age (they too like certain teens can offer an immature response or one which lacks experience).
What these teens are going through is "ageism" - prejudice or discrimination based on someone's age.

At a very young age, I too have been told I am wise beyond my years.
At age 28, even I face ageism.
in the gag world your typical user is 13-35.
So, of course I don't face that here.
In the real world, I'm still much younger than a large amount of the population.
As a professional when I explain things to someone 40s-90s sometimes they may look at me as if I don't know what I am talking about because I am much younger than them.
In any shape or form we have all been discriminated against even if it applies to a different aspect in life.
We must stop this !
It's okay to preferably want to hear from someone of a certain age. But to treat someone wrongfully based on something they have no control over is plain wrong.

[myTake Owner]

I couldn't have said it better myself! I'm glad you liked it and I'm glad I got the message across correctly, I'm not very good at that sometimes.
I experience a level of ageism in my job, it can really suck and make you feel inferior. I can totally understand where these younger users are coming from. I would hate to come on GaG and be treated differently because of my age.

[TheDevilInside]

I also ask younger users to be less catty and bratty.

I get it and appreciate younger users who seem to be able to communicate and think in a logical and mature way.

What grinds my gears to no end is when teens behave like little brats. Ungrateful, impolite little brats. That's when I would be patronizing to them and can't be nice anymore.

Often, teenagers (or younger users who are no longer teens, but are still 18-24) ask something, and when I give them my honest opinion or my suggestion on what they should do (in a neutral tone), they then get all upset and start being impolite to me because I said something that doesn't make them happy.

That's what annoys me so much that GAG now allows so many younger users. Wayyyy too much immaturity. Among the under 18 users, I'd say less than 50% are able to handle stranger's honest opinions maturely and talk to others in a mature way.

Dear younger users: you want us older users to respect and not discriminate you based on your age? Don't give us a reason to. Respect me, respect what I have to say, and I'll respect you. I can't stand impolite little catty brats who think they know everything when they're still just kids.

[CincinnatiRedsfan]

Funny, some of the most catty and stuck up women I see on here (and in REAL LIFE) are women in their 20's.

[Mesonfielde]

Most of the people who have me blocked are 25-29. If there is anyone who is catty and bratty, it is the group that thinks they are doing everything right, and everyone around them is wrong. Especially in questions of religious disagreement.

I have seen under 18 people who cannot seem to type a coherent sentence, but that also seems to happen on the 30-35 side and it just isn't the norm on either side. I take under 18 opinions with a grain of salt, but they seem more open minded than the adults who claim to be the source of all knowledge.

[CincinnatiRedsfan]

@Mesonfielde I've noticed the same thing, except it also applies to people between 18-24 as well. And most people in their 20's have terrible grammar as well.

[TheDevilInside]

I think users over 25 just have had it with bullshit from other people. So they're easier to block. They're less willing to put up with constant bullshit from others.

What I meant with catty and bratty behavior are not blocking though, more like attacking the person for having a different opinion. Or attacking issues that has nothing to do with them, like "do you think ________(a celebrity)'s arms are too fat?" Like very shallow, very judgmental statements and questions.

Not to mention are unwilling to listen to other people's advices. Or respect other people's views that are different than theirs.

[CincinnatiRedsfan]

@TheDevilInside I've noticed it the exact opposite though: People in their 20's are the ones who attack people on opinions and it seems teenagers are a little more open.

[TheDevilInside]

18-24s, yes. Many of them are also still immature.

[myTake Owner]

People of any age can be bratty, ungrateful and impolite, I've met people in their 30's and 40's like that. The point is to not assume a young user will act like that. Some very mature, helpful young users are being put into a negative group and they're finding it unfair.

[TheDevilInside]

I don't have prejudice. I judge people based on their attitude and what they've written.

Still it's annoying when someone (of any age) asks a question, you give your opinion, and then the QA goes all crazy on your butt for saying something the QA don't like.

[hypno-trip]

This is a while ago but I want to say I really support this opinion.

[Lightspeed-Lemon]

Yes, this is totallly right. Everyone has had different life experience, therefore everyone you meet knows more than you about some things. Even a baby knows more about observing the world without judgment and living in the present moment than most adults do. So I look at the advice first and the person's age second. Age is just a number and everyone has something to contribute.

However I think there needs to be different mandatory settings for the younger users. Like private profile and no access to the sex categories. Yes, kids need health info but the users on here aren't professional educators or experts. Some will give okay advice, others will lead people astray. And what's right for a 25-year-old sexually-speaking isn't right for a 13-year-old. Someone's first source of sex education should be parents and teachers, not porn or strangers online. Also, many have noted that there's no shortage of pervs on here. There has to be some protection for minors, that's the unfortunate reality of the Internet in general and this site in particular.

[SakuraChii]

I find it weird that some adults think this site is innapropiate for teens, if anything it's less innapropiate or a baby to other things that are out there. Kids as young as 12 watch prn and search up things on the Internet we are are also constantly surrounded by this stuff in real life as well. Plus a long time ago (maybe 80's or 70's) little boys would read playboy magazines so I don't see how it's that different from looking at a naked body on the Internet. I also find people's views on underage sex to be weird as well, most people loose their virginites in highschool or college, highschoolers are FAR from babies or little kids, you have to remember that in highschool people can be around from the age of 17 or 18 not just 13 year olds.

[crystalt70]

I had to laugh about the 70s and 80s being a long time ago. No offense. Lol.

[myTake Owner]

@crystalt70 To us it is, we weren't born then!

[crystalt70]

Being born in the 90s isn't that far off. I was born in the 80s, but I don't consider the 70s to be so far away from when I was born. That's why it made me laugh. by the way, the 80s were the absolute best!

[MargaritaPeach]

I don't mind young people being on the site. I would rather have them ask and get solid answers than remain uninformed. But at the same time, I am uncomfortable posting answers to sex related questions that are posted by teenage boys, because that just feels creepy to me. I don't want them to think there are suggestions, hints, or invitations being sent out. There aren't! Also seems awkward in the same sense when I see guys in their 50's answering sex questions for 13-14 year old girls. So hopefully our users just practice some discretion.

[lemonlimetime]

Being an "under 18" user I understand where this is coming from. A lot of people on this site have told me I'm too young and I should leave because I don't even make a difference or that I'm too young to understand. If they want to believe that, then that's ok with me. I can't do anything to change their opinion. Other people have told me I'm very mature for my age. I don't answer a lot of the questions that I know my parents wouldn't be comfortable with me answering. They monitor me on this site, which is good. Thank you for making this take.

[BumbleDeev]

Yeah it's pretty aggravating being a young user on here. Even though there is a lot of sexual questions on here it's not like we don't see it on tv, or in movies, or we don't listen to the dirty song lyrics there are. There is pretty much sexual content everywhere on the Internet, even if you search something up that's totally innocent you will find something graphic eventually.
Plus most of the questions on here you don't need experience to answer, you just need common sense. Like if someone asks "is it a good idea to punch my girlfriend in the face during sex?" Yeah clearly I've never have sex before but I still know that you shouldn't punch her in the face.-.

[UnderTheRadar]

You make very good points and I agree 100%. I just wish there were a way to verify ages.

Sometimes I read posts allegedly written by minors that were obviously written by someone much older and sometimes the opposite gender. Can I prove this? No. But I've got 25 years of experience reading the writings of the 13-18 age group and I'd bet my house that many of the explicit sex questions posed by alleged girls under 18 were really written by adult men. I can tell by writing style, slang, usage of emphatic language and etc.

Again, I agree with you. The problem is that websites such as GAG can only be policed so much.

[Lightspeed-Lemon]

LOL. I've suspected that as well. Like, ewww.

[TinyTinaWuzHere]

This may sound offensive but isn't this site like MADE for teenagers with questions. Adults don't really have so many questions like teens. And if they have they can openly talk about it with someone. That's an adult thing i guess. If teens have questions about sex of whatever... it's embarrasing to talk about it with someone we know.

[SakuraChii]

Yea I thought this site was for young adults (19 18) and teenagers too because of the categories and the way it looked so I was surprised to see 40 and 50 year olds.

[lumos]

"Adults don't really have so many questions like teens. And if they have they can openly talk about it with someone."
Hahahahahahahahahhahaha no. You're not even an adult, so why are you speaking as if you know what it's like to be one?

[myTake Owner]

@lumos you're kind of proving my point right now. Tiny basically said that young people have more questions about life so they should be welcomed but you're criticising her because she isn't an adult.

[lumos]

I'm criticizing her because adults can have just as many questions as teens, not because she isn't an adult. I would have said the same thing to her if she was an adult, minus the "you're not even an adult" part. Instead, I would have said "don't speak for other adults."
Assuming that adults have got it all figured out in life and barely have any questions at all is not better than assuming that all teens are completely clueless and therefore shouldn't be taken seriously.

[Eiffelgirl21]

Good post. I am guilty of not listening to younger people... but this made sense. However, I don't think anyone should really use GaG underage or at least be allowed to post pics. MANY underage girls (14 years old) are posting half nude pics of themselves.. that is just dangerous and opens up a lawsuit for GaG

[abundantlyrich]

I've seen cleavage pictures lol.

[Mustachekitteh]

100% agree because just sheltering them isn't going to make what happens in life go away. They are going to learn at some point. Might as well learn it while they are still young so they won't make to extreme of a mistake.

I mean any time your looking up children in history meaning 10 and under. You see kids who were already smoking, working jobs, etc . Nobody sheltered them and they probably were more exposed to very scary experiences.

If most people think people these days are way to sensitive I blame it on the older generation trying to shelter the young. Don't teach them to be ignorant and then once they are adults call them stupid for not knowing or acting sensitive. It's probably due to the fact nobody ever told them how to stand up to certain things in life or how to handle them.

Life can be cruel so they need to learn the second they hit puberty. That way when they are faced with the cruelty they will have a better idea of how to handle it.

[AdoringFan]

Exactly, because the older folks have more life experience, they have more to teach about life right? I have always found it very strange how in certain countries where the legal age of having sex is 18, the whole topic of sex is taboo. If you don't teach your kids about what sex is, how it works and how to protect yourself, how the hell do you expect them to know this stuff when they start having sex? I personally think this is one of the main reason why in those countries teenage pregnancy is so high. So if a teenager asks questions about it, why say: "you have to be 18 for this question, go to school blablabla" if you know DAMN WELL that when you were that age, you were exactly the same.
Rant over.

[muspelhem_5]

I heard that men's brains basically stop developing at age 35. I know most users here are not above that age, but I sincerely believe that young people have some really valuable input on life.

In particular, young people have grown up with, and take for granted stuff that us older people are still trying to wrap our heads around. In that sense, they are able to filter out the present and focus on the future in a way that becomes harder when you are just struggling to keep up.

So yeah, if you want success, listen to kids. Sure they will say random stuff sometimes, but so will old people :)

[adadi2ask]

I think missHannah that let all the ages participate because a girl or guy need to know about sex and all the good/ bad/ ulgy truths about it... After all the this n that's in the end they have been enlightened and also learned about it and thus can't be led by someone else to do it in ignorance and stupidity the end results of chances are odds for Vegas not a preteen mom that should of been becoming a teenager but like I've been saying your able to be a mother as soon as you get your period and most can step right up to the plate and be just that... but in defending your youth I like to HK think being more a civil society that one of the advantages of a society that's here is we can have lifes that actually give a yng girl the option to also be all that she can be... Not what what some old family tradition to give her youth to some man to use and abuse ,... No thanks

[LionelMerelGlisem]

Yes, I noticed that a lot. Most people on here look at the asker's age before posting an answer. Is they are too young, they just post "take care about other things, you will see when you will older".
Il try to say that's not the problem, the asker could create a account with a fake age (for exemple, I'm 12, and my account shows I'm 27, so it works) to ask the question and have the answers.
If the site had proof of the user's age, my policy could be a LITTLE different, but I don't know why the people under 21 could not talk about sex and sexual problems. That's my point of view of person that had a lack of sexual education, that's why you will see a lot of weird question from me.

[Andrea_Lilly_]

What the hell? Do you know how many lives this site has probably saved? Young teens can ask any question they want about sex, and get properly educated and informed. I know a lot of schools still don't teach kids about safe sex or the risks. It's good that younger users can ask any question and get the answers they need. This site helps with so much more than just sex, like depression and just issues that teenagers face on a daily basis. Age is indeed just a number. I know that for a fact because I've met plenty of people way older than me, who are idiots lol.

I feel like this type of social media can create a new, better, more open-minded generation. We discuss things like same-sex marriage and other things that are a big deal in today's society. I don't think you can be too young to share your opinion or ask a question. And instead of discriminating against any young users, we can actually help them. Think of it as a way of making your own difference.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Yeah! what she said we can basically not have abortions! So essentially by choosing to not have sex were still killing fetuses!!

[emmabee11]

In the job interviews i've been in so far i can tell you it's not just age they discriminate over it's weight, how you look, how you sound... they will make up any excuse as to why not instead of why we could actualy do the job... even at colleges i've been discriminated against just because i sound and look younger for my age, i was put into classes for disability students... they never wanted me in a better class and what i learned there is worthless in the job world... i was used for a year and a half making lunches for the cafetera 2 days a week... nothing came out of doing that... if i had disabilites i wouldn't be abe to type all this. I'm over-weight but people are acting like weight is a disability these days but i'm fitter than people give me credit for... i'm muscley too, i have really muscley legs, shoulders and back but people assume it's all fat... so i haven't been to a job interview in a while.. . put off by them looking me up and down like a bin bag...