"You're a creep"! My example of what a creep really is.

[loveisbeautiful]

I just gave my opinion on a very well written take about creep shaming and the difference between someone actually being a creep or the woman just being uncomfortable. So, instead of making my opinion on her take longer then need be. I thought I'd write my own and give my real life example, from my mom's first hand experience of what a creep really is.

When my mom was younger (like high school age), she wanted to go to this party but didn't have a ride. So, there was this guy she knew in passing and he said he'd give her a ride. I need to make clear, it wasn't a date and it was simply just one person giving another person a lift to a party they were both attending, that's all. That's proven by the fact that once they got there, they both went their separate ways. They didn't see each other the rest of the night. However, somehow this guy become obessed with my mom and would harass her any time he saw her, even now.

Now, before I go on I must mention that he is Cuban and some people from countries like that consider themselves a "latin lover" or "God's gift to women", even if they in fact are not. This guy, is one of those guys. He thought he was a ladies man, when that wasn't really the case but it didn't stop him from believing in such.

Anyway, when they got a little older my mom went to this bar and she was wearing a halter top. Well, he saw my mom walk by and he untied her top, as she was walking by and her top fell down. He started laughing and my mom turned around (while holding her top up) and threw her drink in his face.

My mom use to be a bank teller and she was one for, 20 plus years and he was unfortunately one of her costumers. Everytime he would come in the bank he would make the most disgusting and sexually inappropriate comments to her. Despite the fact that my mom was already married to my dad and already a mother to me, he still said vile things to her. Such as "the things I would do to you". "You're so beautiful, if only I could jump across this counter". That's just a few of the things, but the comments were so bad and so frequent, that whenever he came in the bank my mom would go and hide in the back and ask someone else to wait on him. That's how bad it was.

I got to see this guy up close, one time (which was one time too many lol). Me and my mom went into our local convient store and my dad was waiting in the car, when we went in that guy was there talking to the equally creepy butcher that worked there. As soon as that guy saw my mom, he started right in. He even looked at me and said "you're mother is so beautiful, you look just like her". My mom being fed up and me being present with him still acting that way, she finally said to him "if you don't stop harrassing me I'm going to tell my husband and he will kill you" (which isn't actually a stretch). I think he may have finally gotten the message, after that.

My mom saw him a couple years ago at the bank, my mom was waiting in the car for my dad and it was summer so the windows were rolled down. He stuck his head inside the window (which freaked my mom out) and started talking to her. First thing he said was "look at how beautiful you still are", with his mail order Russia bride just standing feet away. My mom was praying my dad would come out and see him and make him leave but he only talked to my mom for a few mintues and left on his own.

Now, that ladies and gentlemen is the your full defintion of a creep (and a mild stalker). He was in the full sense of the word is a creep and wouldn't leave my mom alone, "no" and "leave me alone" weren't in his vocabulary. It's situtions like this one that I described, that I can understand how a woman would feel creeped out and maybe a little nervous when he won't take "no" as a satisfactory answer.

So, ladies I hope this example of what a creep actually is, helps you see the distinct difference between an actual creep and guy you're just not that into.

Gentlemen, I hope this example of creep helps you see what ladies fear and why it's easy for us to get uncomfortable sometime but also to see if you fit this describtion or not. Being over zealous in your approach, is never a good thing (for anybody of any gender).

I hope this take better explained things and help people see what a creep really is. Thank you for reading.

[Joc4Position]

Okay but see this is the problem with stuff like this. Like the other guy said this is sexual harassment and maybe sexual assault without a doubt. That's criminal activity. Nobody is debating as to if that's creepy or not.

I've been sexually assaulted and harassed too. It's criminal activity and yes it's creepy. I don't understand why that should be pointed out when that's not really that debatable.

What needs to be talked about is the situations where conversation is minimal but due to lack of attractiveness (as the other take owner pointed out) or what someone perceives as creepy (though it may not be). That's the debatable part. That and how people should react to being rejected and being in a situation like that where though it's not sexual harassment or assault it is perceived as creepy to them.

Don't know Cuban guys, but didn't like the remark about how Cuban men are. I don't know just kinda rubbed me the wrong way so to speak. That also was wrong to call his wife/GF a mail order Russian bride. Now I know that guy is a scummy criminal and should be put in prison, but what did she ever do?

Not only that but I really feel like someone (maybe me) should make a take on how creepy females can be as well. I think it's not talked about enough. Like I told the take owner of the other take I've been creeped out by females myself. Now was it criminal offenses like the example you gave? Minus that one time (which wasn't to the level of your example) no.

However, again like I said what should really be talked about just as much is creepy situations that aren't criminal. Why? Because those are the hardest to know the difference between. Some creepy situations aren't criminal offenses. They still have an impact though. I also think people have various personalities. Some people are naturally more outspoken (like I told the other my take owner). Should they change who they are for the sake of not being seen as creepy towards SOME girls? Because some girls like the outspoken guys who know what they want and some don't. Again this goes back to perception.

So in closing both guys and girls should be themselves, but not commit criminal offenses. Also, both girls and guys should be aware of perception and emotional response. We all perceive and respond to things differently.

[loveisbeautiful]

First, this was more for the girls benefit so they can understand what the full meaning of what a creep really is. Because, "creep" has become this buzz word now and I don't think people really get what it means in the full sense of the actual definition of the word. That's why I wrote this.

Second, the Cuban thing I said wasn't a racist thing (if that's what you thought). It's just some men from Latin/ Spanish countries (whatever you would call them), have this automatic "women love me, I'm so hot" mentality, when that's not the case. I was just saying that he's one of those guys that feels that way, he thinks all ladies should and do find him hot. That's all.

Thrid, again I wasn't being mean. He in fact got her from a mail order bride service (I believe) and she is in fact from Russia. So, that was a fact, not a dig at the woman I don't even know. I'm not a mean person like that.

Fourth, I agree women can be creepy too. I don't disagree with you on that, at all.

[Joc4Position]

But I believe that kinda thing is talked about already quite a bit. If we lack understanding of what a male creep despite talking quite a bit about it then how are we to understand what a female creep is?

I didn't say it was racist. Cuban isn't a race. It's a nationality. I thought it was a slight towards Cuban men. I think some men in general have this "I'm God's gift to the world" approach to things and some females do too. It can definitely be problematic as evident in his case, because it for sure has a large part into him being the scum he is.

You believe? Okay.

[Joc4Position]

And again you're explaining criminal activity. If you feel only criminal activity is creepy then that's fine, but I believe one can be creepy without it being criminal activity. I also believe that again how people perceive creepy is different too. I mean you perceive it differently apparently no?

I'm just saying why can't we talk about those situations where someone is creepy just for saying hello? Why can't we talk about those situations where women purposefully run into guys hoping he'll turn around and talk to them?

[loveisbeautiful]

I wasn't slighting Cuban men, I'm not that kind of person. Also, I don't know the woman he married. So, yes I "believe" she was a mail order bride. That is what I was told, I'm just going off the info I have.

Well, a creep is someone who crosses boundaries that shouldn't be crossed, not someone who ( as you said) , say's I hello to you. So, I can't comment on someone who say's "hello" being creepy because I've never encounter that and I'm not like that. I try my best not make snap judgments about people without having actually facts to back it up, plus people have done that to me my whole life and so I don't want to do to others what has been done to me.

[Joc4Position]

You were explaining how you think Cuban men are. Well what's the saying? Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear? I mean when it comes to gossip anyway.

Well that's your opinion. To some people the fact that some weird looking person said hello to them is creepy. I know some people get creeped out just by looking at a homeless person. They don't even have to say anything to them. How do you think that makes that homeless person feel? They got eyeballs. They can see your reaction to them. Why isn't stuff like THAT talked about? Instead we are talking about men sexually assaulting women.

Is it a fact that that man's wife is a "mail order Russian bride"? Or is that being judgmental?

[loveisbeautiful]

It's not a judgment, it's what I know to be true. You can believe me or not, that's up to you.

[Joc4Position]

Fact because so and so told you?

[loveisbeautiful]

Because, it came from his brother who my mom knows.

[Joc4Position]

His brother may not like him nor his wife either, but hey enough with that.

[loveisbeautiful]

Okay, probably a good idea.

[aficionado]

Whoa, that's way too extreme! Calling this man a 'creep' would be an understatement.

Having said that... it has become kinda 'trendy' for women to call men 'creeps' today. If a man approaches a woman, she labels him a 'creep' if she isn't attracted to him, and thinks he is 'confident' if she finds him attractive. This really needs to stop.

[loveisbeautiful]

I suppose it is. And, I agree.

[aficionado]

So glad that you're so sensible, unlike most other girls who use the word 'creep' left and right! :)

[loveisbeautiful]

Thank you, I try my best. Plus, I'm a big word person and I only use them when I know what it means and if it actually pertains to the conversation or situation at hand. I'm not big a saying things just for the sake of saying them and I feel in this day in age, some people are. There's all these popular go to words people use now and "creep" is one of them but I don't think people know the true definition of it. That's why I wrote this, so girls can understand what a creep really is.

[DarkHumorRUs]

To most women:

creep - an ugly guy making sexual remarks
boyfriend material - an attractive guy making sexual remarks

[ArtDent]

I would agree that's an example of a creep and a letch