What Does it Mean to Be a Man?

Yeah this is a very serious question, as in the modern day the concept of traditional manliness is demonized and as such many young men lose their way in life.

To have a better idea we must first look at the past. Say what you want, say how you feel you can't deny that historically men have generally been considered the.....expendable gender. Dangerous Labor, Hunting for food, exploring unmarked territory with no guarantee of return and if necessary dying in wars or expected to protect loved ones.

Though to be fair, I'm sure there are many who wouldn't mind going out like this.
Though to be fair, I'm sure there are many who wouldn't mind going out like this.

This was expected of them, nowadays however many men are lost and they have no idea where to go in life, in a society that keep telling them that their masculine tendencies and rowdiness is discouraged looked down upon and even considered toxic and as a result they have no real way of letting them out properly, which can lead to disastrous incidences. Sexual harassment, shootings, etc.

So what is a man to do? Should he continue to go full frat boy and defy a society that seems to continue to reject him?.....well no. Despite how how overzealous lots of movements are about combating toxic masculinity, there is some truth to it, and besides that going full macho and acting jock-like all the time will usually backfire and then you just end up looking like an dope

The only man that could ever make going full macho work
The only man that could ever make going full macho work

In Contrast, what would be the other route? Disregard masculine traits altogether? Become more feminine and "lady like"? No I don't think so. Going full try guys and having the testosterone of an 85 year old man is not a good way to go about things ok? You need to have some sort of backbone, some sort of drive or ambition, some...I don't know OOMPH to you or nothing is going to get done. There needs to be a look of confidence in you, that you can take care of not only yourself but others, and that you aren't easy to push around.

I....THINK this is appropriate...I'm genuinely not sure. If it isn't someone please tell me.
I....THINK this is appropriate...I'm genuinely not sure. If it isn't someone please tell me.

Ok How about a cold, uncaring engine of logic? Not allowing things like emotions or feelings get in the way of making reasoned decisions. No. Logic must be balanced with emotions. Having too much emotion leads to things like false accusations and mob justice/violence, where as too much logic leads to some people thinking of others as potentially expendable.

If this guy can learn to accept his emotions, I'm sure you can too.
If this guy can learn to accept his emotions, I'm sure you can too.

So how do you be a man in such an age...I've been thinking about this for months on end. And then i remembered an archetype i absolutely love. The girly tomboy or the tomboyish girly girl. Whichever variant you wanna go with. Point is in most media, this is the kind of girl i tend to gravitate towards. The type that does their hair, dress cute/nice and has the outward appearance of your typical female But generally has hobbies that involve Hiking, Sports and tinkering with machinery.

Look at it this way for me the ideal girl is someone that is like 70% Girly and 30% Manly......so why shouldn't the reverse be true for men? Temper manliness with just a touch of femininity.

Logic with Empathy, Aggressiveness with Caution, Confidence with Humility.

It's all about finding Balance.
It's all about finding Balance.


We have to make sure we find a balance between traditional masculinity with elements of compassion and kindness and not be afraid to explore and do what were traditionally views as unmanly things. Bake, Garden, watch chick flicks, what have you. If you like it don't let things like whether its manly or not stop you just DO IT!

I know I'm likely singing to the choir, but i do feel that the concept of what it means to be manly needs to be adapted if its to be seen as anything other then flat out toxic anymore.

I do have views on toxic femininity but...that's a my-take for another time.


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  • I disagree. I don't think we need to balance out masculinity with femininity. Men should be masculine, women should be feminine. I don't care whether or not my views are seen as toxic. The goal of those who say that it's toxic is to stamp out masculinity. They want guys like you to "redefine" masculinity to include effeminate behaviours. They want it to be redefined to the point where it means nothing at all in fact.

    I don't think that it can or ever will be redefined because it's ingrained in our DNA. We can look at two men and without knowing exactly what it is that makes one or the other more masculine, we subconsciously make that decision. No amount of social engineering will change that.

    Even those who say that they reject traditional masculinity still do this subconsciously. Often they're dishonest. Most people when they lack a certain quality try to downplay the importance of it. Those who say that they reject masculinity do so because they could never live up to the expectations of traditional masculinity if they wanted to.

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    • Alright then tell me. What defines traditional masculinity?

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    • The problem is that it makes no sense and it goes against their nature. We've been convinced that feminism is this great thing that has freed women from the misery of traditionalism, but women today are more miserable than ever. Around 50% of them are on some form of anti-depressant medication, and that number is increasing. Other studies show that women in higher positions are more likely to suffer with stress related illnesses - they aren't meant to be there. In countries where women are more likely to stay home or only work part-time, they score higher on average in terms of happiness.

      This idea that it's admirable for a woman to try to compete with men again is a feminist idea. Why is it admirable? I can't understand why that would be.

      If you're talking about the law, punishment for the same crimes and things like that, sure I agree. Even then, no need for women or men to be androgynous.

    • Fair enough, i suppose what i care mostly about is men and women being equal in the eyes of the law, so that women crafty enough to take advantage of it won't abuse it to get rid of people they don't like. Even so a woman with some fire in her is more attractive then some glorified yes man.

      I would also like to point out that higher positions are stressful for anybody, not just women.
      Again if a woman has the ambition to do so and wasn't pushed into it by being pressured, i see no reason to discourage her to pursue it if it's what she genuinely wants.

  • You have to actually do manly things sometimes to realize why they are so great. Everyone who has a penis should be able to shoot a gun, ride a motorcycle and be able to build something useful with nothing but his own hands and some tools. These are things that make a man feel something. I don't cry and have feelings like girls do and I think it would be stupid to try, but when I ride a motorcycle I feel free, when I build something I feel accomplished and when I shoot a gun I feel powerful. The funny thing was I went a large part of my life not doing manly things and I didn't get it. Then one day I moved to a different environment and I got to do these things and my life changed drastically for the better.

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    • And that's fine, see my argument is that may no longer be possible if you want to function in society. So we may see more men trying to strike a balance that allows them to keep their manliness

    • I would classify myself as 100% masculine. I am the least girly guy you would probably meet. And this is how I am, I am not trying to fit some mold or something. I fit into society perfectly fine. Sure some people call me "caveman" in my attitude and style and just the whole package but more people are very supportive of me than not.

    • Fair enough i simply never cared for acting in such a brutish manner, but if it works for you it works for you

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  • What it means to be a man has lost a lot of its meaning over the years. Even the "traditional" man is somewhat skewed almost like a revisionist history and often times is portrayed from one extreme to the other.

    A man is someone who fights. Not necessarily with fists and other people but someone who fights THEMSELVES and is always struggling to be a better person against their own fallen nature. Someone who fights their negative tendencies and emotions and becomes a conqueror of themselves. Only then can a man TRULY live up to their potential and have a good and full purpose in life. A man that conquers themselves in essence conquers the world because they don't let outside factors out of their control effect their composure, their determination, or their "frame." They take life as it comes and are always struggling to be better and they realize it is a big part of their purpose. They are not quick to temper, they have empathy towards others, and are also not afraid to get their hands dirty. They are assertive and not passive or aggressive. They strive to do the difficult things in life because they know it builds character and true strength.

    A boy is someone who tries to step on others to get ahead, a boy loses their temper and self control and uses fear or intimidation to get others to do what they want, a boy let's their sexual urges and desires control their lives. In actuality they are insecure and effeminate because they always try to take the easy way out in life, never building character or true confidence. Unfortunately media and society portrays this kind of behavior as "alpha" or "masculine" when it is anything but.

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    • i never once heard of anyone try to portray the use of underhanded tactics such as that as being alpha or masculine

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    • *Stuttering* *Seizure*
      OK i have to know... where in the blicky blick fuck do you live?

  • I fully agree with you. in my opinion, modern men are in the midst of an identity crisis. The 1950's archetype of masculinity simply doesn't work any more, and at the same time the so-called metrosexual or sensitive modern man affectation doesn't do it for most of us either.

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  • The degree of manliness a man possesses is directly proportional to the amount of responsibility they voluntarily take on.

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  • hahahahaha... i read this Take to see if you were full of shit... but the references caught me... i loved the reference to the girlish tomboy... the word "variant", but especially your use of percentages... i dont argue with numbers, numbers dont lie.
    See im one of those "logical" guys you talked about... and using that logic, (and the fact that i have a debater personality) i HAVE to find something wrong, OR add something.

    First off... i can use logic to simulate emotions... but i highly doubt an emotional person can simulate logic... you either have it or you dont.
    Secondly, lol, i believe a man, a real man, does whatever the fuck he wants regardless of what others think. So i loved that paragraph right underneath the Yin-yang pic. if making your woman happy is what you wanna do as a man, including watching some chick flick... fucking DO IT.

    Good Take. and thats a lot coming from me lol

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  • In fact, this is a good topic for discussion. In addition to mens, the girls also changed. There are not those keeper of the family hearth, they were replaced by instagram, facebook and the Internet. Actions now take place online, not in life.

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  • I dont care about this manly shit anymore, more often than not its a bunch of insecure dudes saying "that's not manly" or "you're not a man" same way they use the alpha beta shit

    I do my own thing

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  • I think whether you're a man or a woman you should just be yourself and live your best life.

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  • Coolsville

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  • don't be a pussy

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  • nice take

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