What Is It To Be A Man?

We have been shown what a man is though our tv sets, movies and from our fathers

The first two are romanticized versions of manhood. Strong, masculine, never afraid, he always has the answers. He is kind and understanding, but firm and respected.

A real Man?
A real Man?

Reality, is we learn a lot from our fathers. Flawed individuals, that only have their own experience to work from. And when we become men, we take what we learn, and apply that to our own lives, adding or removing what does and doesn’t work.

To me, to be a man, one must have an ethic something that keeps him morally centered.

Mine is simple…

· Have respect for all, regardless of what they can or cannot do for you. (William Phelps)

· Do unto others has you would have others do unto you. (Matthew 7:12)

· Find out what is hateful to others, and then don’t do that. (Hillel the elder)

These paraphrased from the credited sources

I also believe being a man is doing the right thing, no matter how hard it is. Thinking of how your actions will affect others around you, namely your family and in particular your children.

To provide for your family, to be a pillar and know that people can count on you, but understanding your limitations.

To be a husband, that is a full partner in the relationship, to understand compromise, and identify fairness and equity. To know that understanding a person’s position doesn’t mean you have to agree with it. And to make sure his spouse feels loved.....

Finally You are a real man when people still remember your actions and beliefs, and carry them on to their children..

What about those who are not fathers? The same applies, your action, your ethic, you mark on the world and how it is honored still applies.

Never a man!
Never a man!

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What Girls Said 19

  • Well said!

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  • 7d

    I really like this.

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  • And women shouldn't hit men either. Just wanted to say that.

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    • If he's groping her, though? then he does deserve a slap, or a kick in the balls.

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    • 6d

      I get what you are saying, but part of hitting back is commanding respect. If a woman bitch slaps you and you just "moves her hand away," odds are she will probably do it again. But if he hits back with a proper slap just once, I doubt she would ever try to hit him again. It doesn't matter too much that men are stronger. That's like me going up to a gorilla and slapping it in the face, then being surprised and offended when it proceeds to rip my arm off.

    • 2d

      @giovannimontolivo Gorilla's are different than humans lol. Men have brains (most men at least haha). Just warn her, "Slap me again. I dare you." and I bet you any money, she won't. I've NEVER slapped a man.

  • Being a man is being born with those biological parts. Being a decent human being is something everyone should strive for, dispite our flaws

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    • And I agree... But I think people get raped in some ALPHA male crap, and being a decent human being is what it should be about.

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    • 2d

      But seriously those are pretty good traits you mentioned. It may not be inclusive but if men generally did that stuff there would be fewer people on SNAP cards Section 8 housing and in the domestic court system.

    • 2d

      Not to mention messed up little boys and girls.

  • Being responsible, considerate, determined, accepting and loyal to your commitments. Basically just being a decent person. That's really all it takes.

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  • Does it still apply if the girl is a bit of a masochist?
    Something that's between them personally and in the bedroom.

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  • 7d

    Be a man-have a penis
    Be a gentleman- Have a good personality and be polite

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  • 4d

    omg I read the do unti others thing like 10 times and i still dont understand it

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  • 7d

    Live your post!!!

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  • Well said. 👏👏

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What Guys Said 23

  • For me personally. The following characteristics define a well rounded, strong man. Responsibilty, accountability, dependability, leadership, humbleness, selflessness, self awareness, respect, honesty, compassion, conviction, resilience, confidence, and passion. I could go on and on. But these are the qualities that I strive for. I think self awareness, the drive for self improvement, and a strong moral compass are the most important of all. Not letting your pride or ego dictate your actions and behavior is another big one. Thinking before you speak, never belittling others, loving your loved ones and never being afraid to show that love. Not being afraid of emotion, but rather embracing it, a real man is never scared to show emotion. Admitting our fears to ourselves, and having the courage to face them. Being a leader and setting an example for your loved ones through your actions. Channeling our anger and temper in positive and constructive ways, rather than being violent or self destructive. Showing emotional strength in times of hardship. Never wavering from your morals, and standing up for those that are weaker than you. Protecting your loved ones and children no matter what.

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  • Been there did that. Looks like your take is getting a better reception. I guess now the people here are beginning to realize men have to define what it means to be masculine. Maybe then feminism won’t be such a threat to them.

    What Are Masculine Traits? ↗

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  • You have an ideal perspective of what a man is, but in truth a man is whatever he sets or doesn't set himself to be.

    As a society we have agreed that a respectable man takes care of the community, family, and brotherhood.

    But a man can also be a tyrant, king, murderer, coward, hero, villian, and so forth.

    there's no one definition of a man.

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    • we all have our own ideas of manhood.. Honour should always a part of that.. other wise you just a male..

    • That's my point, we have the ideal man that we respect as a society, but all other forms are also men too, it's just that we don't respect them based on our ideals.

  • I think that that main traits of a "real man", as described by Jack Donovan in his book "The Way Of Men" are strength, courage, competence, and honour. I think that most things that you say have to do with being a man are linked with those things, and I don't think anybody would agree that a weak, cowardly, incompetent and dishonourable man is a real man. We all have flaws of course, none of us are ideal, but those are ideals that I think that most men should strive to be.

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  • 7d

    I don't disagree, but it's too detailed for me.

    It starts making sense if you don't regard men/mqasculine and women/feminine as true opposites. Instead the real opposites are boys - men and girls - women.

    "Man" is the adult title of people born with a male sex basically.
    You are a man when the majority of what you are is an adult rather than a juvenile person, when your level of responsibility and lifestyle choices is past 50% to the adult side of things.

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    • while I dont condone anyone laying hands on anyone, the point of this video isn't about being a man... it was about being in an others shoes... basically.

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    • Well, I agree they shouldn't... but some women do deserve a slap, but not a full on punch.

    • There's that exception I wanna hear.

  • 4d

    "Reality, is we learn a lot from our fathers."

    Didn't have one. Had to learn the hard way, but totally agree with this.

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    • 4d

      I was a little short sighted in regards to folks like yourself.. My apologies,

  • That really just describes what every human should aspire to, regardless of sex. TV, our fathers, our mothers, our girlfriends, and society as a whole have never shown us what it is to be a man, they've merely told what it is to be a man. There's quite a difference.

    We are shackled by the expectations of a society which itself was led upon this path by its predecessors. We've been taught the men are disposable, that our feelings, our pain, that which makes us human, are undesirable weaknesses. It's a very alienating process; the denial of that which is innate to our species.

    Again, what you are describing is human decency. That knows no boundaries, least of all gender.

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  • 7d

    Being a man is to be swift as the coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire; to be mysterious as the dark side of the moon.

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  • 4d

    Not bad. You could learn a thing or two here: www.therationalmale.com

    Rollo Tomassi is pretty sharp. And no, it's not all about what your family or TV told you. There's a lot that is left unsaid, or simply misunderstood.

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    • 4d

      first sensible thing youve said! lets have a knock and find out!

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    • 4d

      @wootamandawoot41 - Absolutely. It's on my bucket list. ;)
      I can fly into London or Edinburgh and rent a GS - just like the one I ride here. Tour for a week, see the sites, the old country. Beats the hell out of a tour bus, eh? ;)

    • 4d

      ha thats sure does

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