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This question is very hard to answer, and is much more complex than it seems.
It is very good that you are getting counseling, just make sure it is good counseling that gives you true inner healing and freedom and not lie to you and cause more burdens or makes it worse, I have had experiences like that.
It seems your boyfriend does care about you, but he is responding wrongly not to stay with you. He seems he is afraid he is or was a bad influence over you and may cause you more harm, or it could be out of a more selfish reason, that it hurts him to see you hurt yourself, especially after you had sex. Sex creates a physical bond/ marriage between you and when that bond is abused or broken it is like cutting a part of your heart out - it causes great pain, regret, emotional turmoil and a sense of meaninglessness and death. Be truly honest with yourself, your councellor and all those who you can trust especially your boyfriend, if he would listen.
But don't force him or yourself to work it out all at once, stay in contact but keep it subtle and let it come naturally.
I feel for you, and hope my answer may help, but I would advise you not to take offense from rash answers on this site, but view them all objectively. It is risky to ask such hard questions on web polls, I hope you consider that, otherwise find someone who really knows how to help you.
As said, stop cutting. To most guys it really turns them down and away (just the same with general depression). It's not that guys don't care about you though, it's because they can't handle it. I am the say. I broke with my ex because she was suffering from depression and it was pushing the relationship apart. I couldn't handle that fact, so I ended it before it got worse.
Seek some help, and when your better, talk to him.
this is a very tricky one.firstly you need to sort youself out first.theirs a reason your cutting yourself and hun you got get that sorted before it gets worse.its not going to go away straight away but you have to talk to your boyfriend.maybe if you tell hin your feelings he might understand abit better.he more than likely is just freaked out by it and dosnt know how to handle the situation.Ask him does he love you and is that the real reason why he wants to break up you need to know the truth and if its not let him go.think about yourself first and your find that someone special who will help and enourage you.if he loves and cares for you he should help you through your tricky time and be their for you.if not is he really the man for you?..just try and be positive and stop cutting yourself I know from personal experinces its not the best root!...when you think that your going to cut youself stop and think try and do something instead that is positive..only new to this so hope I helped..take care of yourself!.x
Well, to have sex with you before the break up was an immature thing to do. As far as you cutting yourself, please stop. If he loved and cared about you, he would have stood by you during a hard time. That's when you know who loves you and who your true friends are and he sound like neither. It sounds like he just wanted the sex. Get better and find someone who will love you through thick or thin.
You gotta keep in mind, that the cutting issue is a little stressful for people to deal with. But you could try waiting it out and talking to him after a bit. As for the cutting, I'm not going to tell you that you need to stop (because I'm just not one of those people, I'm more "do what you gotta do") but you might want to slow it down a bit and let him know you're trying to make an effort.
Well if you're getting help with it, it seems he's just using it as an excuse to end things with you. Love isn't about sex, but I can see what you mean. I used to be a cutter myself, but the only way to help anyone is to help yourself first. So take care of yourself first before getting into a relationship.
Opinion
4Opinion
This question is very hard to answer, and is much more complex than it seems.
It is very good that you are getting counseling, just make sure it is good counseling that gives you true inner healing and freedom and not lie to you and cause more burdens or makes it worse, I have had experiences like that.
It seems your boyfriend does care about you, but he is responding wrongly not to stay with you. He seems he is afraid he is or was a bad influence over you and may cause you more harm, or it could be out of a more selfish reason, that it hurts him to see you hurt yourself, especially after you had sex. Sex creates a physical bond/ marriage between you and when that bond is abused or broken it is like cutting a part of your heart out - it causes great pain, regret, emotional turmoil and a sense of meaninglessness and death. Be truly honest with yourself, your councellor and all those who you can trust especially your boyfriend, if he would listen.
But don't force him or yourself to work it out all at once, stay in contact but keep it subtle and let it come naturally.
I feel for you, and hope my answer may help, but I would advise you not to take offense from rash answers on this site, but view them all objectively. It is risky to ask such hard questions on web polls, I hope you consider that, otherwise find someone who really knows how to help you.
From how I see it, he either cares about you too much or not at all. He may think that he is the cause of you cutting yourself, therefore he believes it best that he leave for your own safety. On the other hand, he might not be prepared to share the emotional baggage that you come with, that caused the need to cut yourself in the first place. Take care of yourself and remember that you come first before anyone else, nothing is worth getting physically hurt for.
Focus on yourself. This is not something that you should expect a teenage boy to fix. You need to be healthy enough mentally and emotionally to be in a relationship. Fix yourself first. If you're with someone that thinks they can solve your problems, run away - they are probably one of those people that thinks they can single handedly rescue you. Only you can rescue you.
I have to say that if a man cares, he will push past his own uneasiness to be there for you. Fear or immaturity is making him go away--you really shouldn't be focused on that though. If you were meant to be he will come back--what you need is to love yourself--please start loving you and the love you get will be more real because you will settle for nothing less.
Drop me a line anytime hun *hugs*
That's stupid for him to break up with you. NO OFFENSE or anything, but I cut myself and my boyfriend didn't break up with me. He just told me if I do it again that he's gonna kick my ass.
Forget about your boyfriend for a while and worry about fixing YOURSELF. If you really love him then you will realize that you won't be much use to him (or anyone else) until you solve your own issues.
He is unsupportive and I hate to be blunt but he must not love you. I'm very sorry to be the one to tell you this but he must not.
First of all Anonymous, what is the reason for cutting yourself to begin with? Ask yourself that question and it just might shed some light on your situation. Second of all, stop cutting yourself and please get help. I cannot agree more with duskysummer that he might have left you because of the position your are putting yourself and him in with you harming yourself, he is probably not mentally prepared to handle that just yet.
You should look for a new guy. Half the planet is male, don't get all worried about one dumping you. And quit cutting, that's nuts.
I know that this is hard, because it happened to me. If you really love him and you're sure he loves you, talk to him and ask him to get back together and that you're getting help (even if you're not). It would be better to get help for yourself. I did, and I know it's hard, but if youc an stop on your own, that's great. It hurts to loose love over cutting, but sometimes shit happens. if he loves you for real, he'll give you a second chance.
Stop cutting yourself girl... that's not good. Just have a talk with him and tell him that you need him to be there for you.
Better for you! Same thing happened to me 6 months ago, exact same thing plus he abused me. It still hurts but its better for me & BETTER FOR YOU! Give yourself time and STAY STRONG!
that is how my best friend is with me now about me cutting myself
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