Boyfriend says I'm 'clingy' and obsessive?

[polskapolka]

I've been with my boyfriend for over a year. Recently he's been pulling away and not communicating with me and it's basically gone to crap. It's mainly me starting conversations, asking him to go out, coming up to his locker etc. Last night I asked him out and he told me I'm clingy and obsessive. He said that's the reason he's been pulling away from me, and not talking to me etc. He thinks I have high expectations and want him 24/7 which is far from the truth. To me, the little things mean the most. I told him all this, he still hasn't replied. I'm not sure how to stop being clingy? From what I've read clingy is calling nonstop, demanding attention and to know where they are all the time, which is not what I do at all. I feel the only way for me to change is for him to change as well, as in give me the attention i want and help me feel more secure.

[justbanANNAz]

yeh tbh it does get kind of annoying when the other person is too clingy. i think u just need to talk to him a little less, and expect him to give u attention rather than always looking for it. its kinda like ur not giving him a chance to show u how much he loves u because ur always doing it first.

then again, a relationship beginning under 18 isn't usually a good idea. just saying. u have more important things to involve urself with.

[polskapolka]

18 in 2 months, we're graduating this year.
I get that it's annoying and that I need to pull away and give him the space and option of coming to me, but i don't know how to do that without it seeming like i'm ignoring him etc?

[justbanANNAz]

well u know, some guys will actually come searching for ur attention when u stop giving it. if u stop, he'll actually wonder whats going on and try to talk to u more and such. u could do subtle things instead.
example. u know how u said u go to his locker? instead, give him a little smile as u walk past. sometimes it drives guys crazy;) give him a bit of a hard time. if he's willing to make an effort for u, he's a keeper. if not, ditch the dead weight.

[polskapolka]

yeah that makes sense. "we want what we can't have". that's probably why i'm acting this way. i'm wanting him more because i don't have him. our lockers are right next to eachother ugh

[justbanANNAz]

exactly. seriously tho, its quite fun making him wonder what it is ur doing lol. i find it quite amusing seeing the confusion mixed with admiration on their face/s:P

[polskapolka]

but he has so much self-control that he doesn't give me the satisfaction of knowing if he misses me or is confused.

[justbanANNAz]

well what u need to reciprocate that is patience:) if u dont have enough then dont bother because this man clearly needs a very patient woman who's willing to play along with this 'guess what I'm feeling' game-.-

[zombiebabe]

there's no need for you to blame yourself if he's pulling away...most of us girls are emotionally dependent and this mostly increases when we feel like there's a lack of affection...he should probably be acting like this because something else is disturbing him (maybe he is stressed)..he is the one to understand that he is the reason you're acting like this towards him

[polskapolka]

i know that i'm actin this way because he's pushing me away. in my mind, however wrong i know i am, the more he pushes me away the more i want from him thus i ambush him which in turn makes him push away more. i feel very insecure.

[zombiebabe]

so just give him some space and he should be the one to crawl back

[polskapolka]

i'll try it, thanks :)

[zombiebabe]

anytime babe:-)

[Prilee1992]

Yeah. He's acting unmanly and you doubt his power that's why you start acting controlling and clingy to him. When a man gives away his masculinity and acting like a woman, it basically saying, I don't really deserve you.

[polskapolka]

can you elaborate?

[Prilee1992]

So now you are doing all the jobs that he used to do, asking for dates, hooking up. It was all his ideas. But now he's acting like a woman who seems like doesn't want to commit in relationship/seems boring to be together with you. You doubt his masculinity, :why is he acting like this towards me, he used to be the guy that's decisive and acting like a man?
You don't feel 'safe' towards this man, and that's why you took away his power and acting masculine instead of being feminine.

[polskapolka]

so you think i should step back and let him be the manly one?

[Prilee1992]

Step back, but call/text him once: honey, you know what? I used to be falling in love with you crazily because of what you were doing. It does complete me as a woman, and I miss the moments. I want to feel safe around you.
If he's still acting childish and not considerate after you saying so, you gonna consider to leave him. Remember women want someone who can protect time at all times regardless of feeling unstable and insecure.

[Anonymous1971]

Hey the honeymoon period is over.. This is who he really is.. If you don't like him like this and can't back off a little then its time to move on..

[bleedingquadrophenic]

Give him space. Lots of it. Don't bother contacting him unless he contacts you

[bDizzie]

Sounds like he doesn't appreciate you. May be time to move on.

[p0rtis26]

You need some space. Stop contacting him and let him be that is what is best. It will take self control but you can do it

[iampikachu]

I think you should give him space for now.