My boyfriend is too nice to me

[Anonymous]

He tells me that he loves me ten times a day.

He want me to be with him all day long.

When we're not together, he'd continuously text me.

He still can't believe that I am his gf, its been like 6 months and goes "you are so beautiful... what are you doing with some1 like me?"

He just wants to kiss me all the time or just hold me.

He's just so nice that it's getting so boring and predictable. There's no spice in my life. Should I dump him?

[Anonymous]

So, nice equals boring? You sound like one of the many girls who are not yet mature enough to realize that bad boys do not change, and if he acts like he doesn't care, it doesn't mean you Need to try harder or that he is just cool and aloof, it means he DOES NOT CARE. You will realize the value of a nice guy when you have dated a bunch of dick heads and no longer kno what a NOT dysfunctional relationship looks or feels like. Too late then. A guy who mistreat you is NOT a "challenge". A guy who is inconsistent and unreliable is not "spontaneous" or "exciting". Drama seems exciting now, but wait til the first time he hits you or verbally berates you, because it won't be the last. Now, a GENERAL COMPLETE lack of assertiveness to EVERYONE, i. e. a "doormat" isn't a desireable man of high character either. But, does he REALLY fit that description? Maybe he is just so afraid of losing you that he turns on the nice a bit too much. If you really care about this guy, TELL HIM, in a non confrontational way, that you want HIM to be happy too, and that you are worried he is sacrificing what HE WANTS too much, which upsets you, and that you would be HAPPIER if he tried to make you BOTH happy, and you do not want him giving up his own wants and needs just for you.

Perhaps you, like many, suffer from low selfesteem due to the majority of guys, (and many women) treating people like shit, until their partner internalized the abuse. This can lead to a person feeling very uncomfortable with being treated well, as they subconsciously feel they DESERVE to be mistreated or berated. Please don't fall into this trap either. I will not presume to tell you your own mind, though. Maybe you really DO want a guy who isn't always nice, or is a "bad boy", or you see as a "challenge". But not everything we want is good for us in the long run. If you want to eat a whole chocolate cake every dsy, (who doesnt) you may feel good while eating it, but the consequences will make you regret wanting immediate gratification. Relationships can be like that. What you want or even enjoy today may hurt you in the long run. I would think carefully about your choice of partners, and especially do not ignore the experience of those who have gone before. I do not KNOW, but I believe that the VAST MAJORITY of those who have chosen excitement over stability in a relationship regret that choice at some point. Maybe this guy really IS too boring, but think b4 throwing away what some would kill for.

[Jack_C]

well he obviously cares about you. be thankful for that, too many guys will treat you like sh*t, there aren't nearly enough guys in this world who know how to appreciate a girl and treat her right.. appreciate being loved. but yeah he is over doing it. as with anything, communication is key in relationships. just gently explain that you feel smuthered. let him know that you are greatful to be his girlfriend, but there has to be time for you too. that there is no need to text you a ridiculous amount , that it is a hastle to have to pull your phone out every 2 minutes. let him know that its much better if he doesn't hold you and kiss you continuously and that you would feel a lot better if he took the time to actually talk to you and ask questions, to take a genuine interest in who you are and what you have to say, instead of just focusing on how happy he himself is. but don't just dump him. you have no idea how devastated he will be. a guy like this won't be able to go from having the best thing in the world, to losing it in an instant. explain how you feel about how he is acting , and give him a chance to work on it. let him try to be more distant and no so obsessive. tell him to be less predictable and more aloof. talking to him about this is the best thing you can do for both your sakes. but dumping him wouldn't do any good, he would just continue to call and text you at all hours. nothing would change, it would just be one sided. so try to work on him and set some boundaries, if he's worth it , that is. I won't lie, I suck at relationships, don't know why but I can't keep one going myself. but I like to give advivce and try to help people any way I can. so I hope that I was able to give you some perspective or help you in some way. so I hope that this works out for you, best of luck. : )

[PsychedelicZebra]

Well said, you saved me an answer... I find it hard to believe that you suck at relationships though, sounds like you have strong empathy/people skills.

[alilmarried]

before going to the most harsh thing to do (dumpin him) you first have to think to yourself if there's still a possibilty that you will miss all those nice traits you got to tell him its nice and all but sometimes you don't need to hear it all the time because you already know how deeply he feels bout you unless the next thing he feels he absolutetly needs to tell you and that is deeper then anythin he has ever said to you he should go ahead and say it to you but really be a little more appreciative because there's not enough men that show feelings like he is doing it takes way more for a guy to say there true feelings then a girl to do it hang in there and if you feel you can find a better more excitin relationship and feel you are unhappy with him move on

[Anonymous]

That boyfriend is good and bad in Some ways. Good in the aspect that he's Nice and as far as this goes it Seems as if he Adores you. Whats bad is that he's a little "a little by alot" clingy and that can be bad. But Still he's nice and he seems to be in love with you. Dont dump him for being to nice he's just letting you know that he does not want you to go and will try to be with you as much as can be, dont dump him he's a keeper just talk to him about your issues with him and it would work out for the better! So Do not dump him!

[treehugger]

No I don't think you should dump him. You should feel lucky to have a guy like this. Most girls would kill for this. I would if I wasn't dating a guy like this (my boyfriend is almost exactly like this). Talk to him tell him you're feeling smothered my him and to tone it down a bit.

[permenatejake]

The problem with nice is that it also means boring. I can understand your desire to spice things up a bit, but just remember in the near future when you're dating a guy who verbally abuses you and has "issues" that it was you that wanted the drama, and that you can never ever say, "Gee, I wish I could find a nice guy." Might point is talk to him, tell him to tone it down. Nice guys think you want to be showered with praise, so educate him.

[mollz]

dump him and date his father, that will teach him really fast