If my bf is attracted to teenage girls now, does that mean he's going to turn into a pedophile when he's older?

[Anonymous]

I'm 22 (not a teenage girl anymore) but the thing that my bf likes the most about me is how i'm so cute, naive, and innocent (he said so) . and he likes that i'm tiny and petite.. he's literally twice my size (i'm 95 lbs, he's 190 lbs) . and he likes my voice (girly/high pitched... sort of childish ) . And he liked the fact that I was a virgin when we met. He's 28. Also, I know that he's attracted to girls who are younger than me, like 16, 17, year olds even. He definitely likes the innocence factor.. He's turned off by women who smoke or drink or sleep around.. etc.. even though he does some of those things himself. We've been together for two years. I feel like if he likes younger girls now, this problem is going to get much worse as he gets older... What if he's 40 and still attracted to younger girls... and I'll be 34 when he's 40, so he won't think i'm cute and innocent anymore.. Does tha mean he won't be attracted to me anymore/ Should I break up with him? or will his preferences change? will they get stronger? I don't know

[Riskiverse]

This means that he has a fixation on girls in the crucial years of development from young teen to young adult. This obsession would have started when he was a teenager himself.

Technically, individuals who engage or desire to engage in sexual activities with pubescent teenagers under the legal age of consent ( ages 13 - 16 ) are known as hebophiles. Individuals who are attracted to physically mature partners ( 16 - 19 ) are known as teleiophiles. From his preferences, he fits more into the diagnoses of a hebophile.

As you've experienced, he is showing obsessive signs over younger girls - this obsession will not die. It will harbor inside of him, and his fixation on these girls will continue as his years progress. Hebophiles and teleiophiles tend to be far more collected, socialable, and appealing than 'pedophiles' who tend to show incapability to control their urges, ( the majority of pedophiles are drug addicts or alcoholics, this inability to control urges carries on past children )

I recommend that you start to break away from him. It's one thing to love you for YOU, and find your body attractive because they love you, but it's another thing to love you because you fit their ideal sexual fantasy. You simply allow him to live out his desires legally.

Do not expect this to go away, at 28 years old he is far past the margin of 5 year limit to be considered outside these mental disorders. If I were you, I would start to throw out the net to other men. Ones who will fall in love with the woman inside, not the childlike image outside.

Good luck, dove, you're in a peculiar situation, that's for sure.

[Asker]

Lots to think about :(

[Roarke]

Wow i usually come on here to pontificate and mostly get away with it, but you seem to know your stuff.
Question: what is that sub-category in which adults actually believe in the possibility of physical and emotional mutuality, i. e. romance, with the underaged (pedo, hebo or telieio)? I remember that school teacher, Latuorno (sp?) who entered into a relationship with her 13 yo male student and persisted through warnings and even incarceration. I believe to this day they are still married, though i can't verify that.

Naturally the guy described here is something of both a predator and a fetishist, but the one key indicator is that he might be prone to ditching a girl who becomes too old for him, meaning there isn't even a hint of long term growth there.

[Riskiverse]

Heh, pontificate away.
It's not that any one of these three categories are exclusive to the belief that what they are doing is "love and mutual" gaining. More so, that it is a state of mind any paraphilias directed towards minors can experience, one of which fitting in the common 5 defense patterns, "justification"; claiming it to be an act of mutual love and benefit. Often times the victim will defend their abuser in these cases, as the predator under "justification" selects vulnerable individuals to "romance". i. g. children living in a divorced home, emotionally needy, or unhappy.
The teacher fits into the "lover" and "teacher" class. In a position of authority, she sees sex as a consensual relationship and not abuse of the child, i. e. justification. Her not falling into any severe trouble is common, as it's usually viewed, by both the victim and others ( not including the law ), as a fortunate rite of passage in female pedophilia cases.

Did I answer your question?

[icantwait]

QA please message me, I know tons on this subject and can possibly help

@riskiverse you have a pretty good handle on this, though some of the points are a little off. I'm very impressed with your knowledge on this subject

[Riskiverse]

Heh, thank you, stranger! But, I'm not sure announcing how thorough your knowledge might be on this particular subject is... as good idea at face value. ( teasing ) I simply take the time and effort to do my research before I blurt out my words, being in college kinda teaches you the value of proper study. ( especially when a professor realizes you didn't do your research before making a claim - good lord ) As well as having connections in upper psychology helps!

[icantwait]

Heck yes spot on! Good to see you've got a great mind and know how to use it. Personally I don't mind announcing things like this if it means there's a chance to help. Seems like the tough to talk about stuff are what people need answers to, and there's a shortage for stuff like this.

Truly awesome you take the time to understand and form well thought out answers. Lucky you for your connections too (: certainly helps

[Riskiverse]

Well, that's great that it's taken as a great aspect instead of obnoxious! My opinions on here tend to be a mix of research and then my personal resulting opinion of it, unless unnecessary, like opinion/experience based QA's. ( I'm not even your typical person to 'be' giving out advice, I'm more of a shrug and offer my condolences type, research was spared for answering my own questions )

Your fascination with the odd stuff will give those asking the odd stuff a chance to get an informed opinion, I won't intrude on that. As I've seen it, I don't have a strong interest in philosophy or psychology, I'm a mathematics and physics focus, but I'm sure glad others are so interested in it!

[icantwait]

Hey that's pretty cool , good style for answering really. Physics definitely can be fascinating, personally I enjoy it quite a bit. Science and history in general are what I like. So far seems to have helped at least a little which is superb.

You seem like good people ^_^

[Riskiverse]

We seem like good people? I'm assuming we as in the mathematics and physics department. We're a lively bunch that are pretty positive about everything, hard to get us down when your major is seeing reality as nothing more than numbers.

[Azara]

Lol its funny you ask this bot bc its a funny sotuation but bc half the guys on here say that's just being a normal healthy male.. Being attracted to and searching for very young/er women. I'm surprised they are not on here claiming he's just a healthy red blooded male.

[AdamThomas]

The MH is bullshit. Men are naturally attracted to younger women. Its not a mental disorder. This is just another attempt at demonising male sexuality. Older women are constantly criticising men for preferring younger women over them, constantly trying to say that they're just as attractive but that men are just intimidated by them.

[Prof_Don]

I feel that fixation is here to stay... but. doesn't mean that he will lose attraction to you.

[CasaNorba]

i really doubt that. people change as they age, you know

[ikffjaa]

everyone is attracted to teenage girls