I think my boyfriend is a pedophile?

Question

hey guys so I have been dating this guy for 4 months now and some of the things he said freaked me out a little bit, I may be overreacting but I just dont want to be involved in his sick game, so please tell me your opinion.
I just turned 18 and he is almost 25 which is not a big diffrence but he often tells me my face looks like a child and he loves it. Now this could just be an harmless comment but he also said my little sister looks very beautiful quite a few times (she is 10 years old) and when i asked him why he keeps saying that, he told me that he just likes little girls and would like to have a daughter with me one day.
He keeps spoiling me with expensive gifts but treats me like a child in return, forbids me from doing certain things and calls me a good girl when i obey his rules, I am usually the more submissive type anyways and i would be ok with this type of behaviour to some extent if i didn't doubt that he is a pedo. What do you think? Am i overreacting or these are some legit signs?

Barry88 · Accepted Answer

It's strange for a 25 year old to say that a 10 year old girl is beautiful.

Pedophiles are attracted to prepubescent girls and your sister is around the moment to hit puberty. He also indicates he likes it that you look young. Maybe he just likes girls who look a bit younger? So many adult men look for 'teen' when they watch porn, so it isn't that strange. And while some of these teen girls in porn are 18 years old, they are often dressed to make them look younger.

Does your sister looks really young: can you tell that she is 10, or does she look even younger? Or does she look older (is she maybe already using make up) and do people often think she is 13 or 14? In case she looks young (er) I would be more worried about your boyfriends comment; if she's 10 but looks like 14 it's still a weird comment, but less worrying.

I doubt he's a real pedophile (according to the scientific definition), but it seems he is attracted to teenage girls. I don't know how you look like, but this might give a clue as well. Apart from your face, if you would have small breasts and hips, you might also look younger. If that's the case with you, perhaps that's what he's attracted to. If that's not the case and you both have a normal sex life, he might just have a strange kink but it's likely to be harmless and not a threat towards your sister. Of course not everyone who says such things is a child molester.

However, considering all that you're writing, it seems that he made you feel very uncomfortable with his comments and that you don't fully trust him, because of these comments. Have a good talk with him, ask him deeper about these comments, he should be able to provide you a satisfying answer (whether that should be an explanation, apology, or whatever, it's up to you). He is your boyfriend for four months now and there are probably also a lot of positive things in this relationship. Decide for yourself if he can regain your trust, and if yes, what is needed and how the two of you will work on that.

ScottStevens · Accepted Answer

Not sure if he is a pedophile or not. But his behavior has already raised flags in your mind, and that is a very telling situation. Being a submissive type does not mean your intimate partner has totally control over your daily actions and desires.

At 18 you are just beginning to dive into the real world of dating. The younger years of dating were all about being giddy and excited. You should also be growing more mature and develop a knowledge and understanding of who you are and what you expect from an intimate partner. This guy is not for you at this time in your life. He obviously has his own insecurities and fantasies that are driving the bus for himself. Time to chalk this up to experience, one that probably has some good memories, but one that is never going to help you become the young lady you want to be!

Tia_Maria · Accepted Answer

You aren't overreacting. Based on what you've stated here, i would end the relationship. I wouldn't trust him. You have a 10 year old sister to look out for. He could be grooming you to have access to your vulnerable sister. You'd be a fool to trust him. It's better to be safe than sorry.

He's weird to say the least. Personally, I wouldn't want anything to do with him and protecting my younger sister would be paramount.

MzAsh · Accepted Answer

Eww wtf. This is not okay. I’d put this guy in his place quick. Let him know he needs to knock it off with the dom shit and comments about little girls.

Elove · Answer

Yes, he is weird.
I dated a guy who said his friends nieces who were 14 and 15 in 2011 were "Hot!" He ran up to take photos of them KNOWING A THEIR AGES. He kept saying (before we were official & he invited me to the wedding) That he could 5 wait to see them they're so built.. then finally realized they're Kids. And he has/d a tendency after that I noticed of side glancing at young girls tryin gto look older, but are CLEARLY GIRLS. One girl had her backpack on and was well endowed (poor thing) and he gawked at her... I said "pfft EOE she's 14 dude gross" he replied in disbelief "she's 14?" ... MIND YOU HE'S 63
and Absolutely used my father's death to groom me into having sex with him. Then treated me like trash.
His first wife was the same as you two, she was 1lbarely 18 and he was 24. He goes for naive people/childlike Innocence.
🤔

FFWD to Im done with this POS. I've been finding things in his car which I refuse to go into unless I NEED to. Keep seeing this extremely to y naked outline of a girls. bidy imprinted on his passenger seat. He won't clean it. Barely has tried... That's what sent me to the hills of New Mexico all summer, but had nowhere to stay so ended up coming back, unfortunately.
Desperately trying to get jobs lined up as to be able to afford my own rent and my 14 yo cats.. it's been DIFFICULT to say the least.
. I'm afraid if I try to tell the police, a. Nothing will happen or b. He will get someone. He was also a lawyer in the UK (those bastards are always gross and up to no good).
I'm in my late 30a now. He got me when I was 27, and after a year or 2 he's take a photo out and say "wow, vlook how YOUNG you looked!"🤦🏽‍♀️
I'd say.. I AM YOUNG.
And he'd refuse to take any photos with me unless it was my fam6taking one for say Thanksgiving.

It's my own fault, I knew he seemed off but gave him a chance anyway and before I knew it in less than a year I had nowhere to go after my dad died... It's been very very rough.

HE IS ILL, GET TF AWAY FROM HIM. YOUR FEELINGS ARE CORRECT 💯

Anonymous · Answer

He's got some issues I think for sure that are concerning. Hard to say about the "pedophile" (although calling you a child specifically and that he loves that?), could be a harmless comment and just a poor choice of words, or maybe not? But what concerns me also (maybe more than that) is his controlling behavior and "forbidding" you to do certain things. That's a HUGE "red flag" for sure! You are around him and know him better than we do, but based on reading this, I would be thinking twice about a relationship with him.

Levin · Answer

I think you should follow your gut instinct, but it is a very serious accusation.

The young face and 'good girl' thing. Could that not be more of a dom submissive fetish?

Also, with regard to your sister, everyone thinks children are adorable. Are you sure he's sexualising her though?

stranger98devil · Answer

If you are having a hunch then you are right about it. There is just a thin line between care and manipulation. Don't judge for just one thing, try to remember more incidents and then if you still getting a gut feeling that he is wrong, then he truly is.

ash0891 · Answer

I think the combination of him talking about her that way and comparing you to a little girl is a red flag. I have a friend with a 9 yr old daughter and I compliment her and will tell anyone she is a beautiful girl but, the fact that he compares you to a young girl and she is around... I would have to say , protect her and run!

s2firestar · Answer

It would be jumping to conclusions to say so, but something is definitely odd. Keep an open eye, and break up with him if you are still suspicious.

Only get the police involved when you have any evidence though. If you are wrong, it can get very expensive for you, should he pursue a suit. But if you even so much as see him doing something sketchy, report him. Maybe they will find something in his online life.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Calling your boyfriend a pedophile is a serious accusation. If you really think he is a potential sexual predator or children you need to act. Do you think he is a danger to your sister? Have you seen any of the porn he views (any kiddie porn)? Have you ever caught him trying to be alone with your sister or any other child?

cfeen · Answer

Creep I read no farther than talking about 10 yr old. I like younger girls but in no way could I think a 10yr old can't even say it and for real makes me want to beat his ass. I mean I'm 49 and can't deny I know a girl 25 and she smart and beautiful and that's 18 might be legal but I don't know if I could blame do that

wankiam · Answer

when i first saw this question i wondered if he was just into the whole dd/lg thing as a fantasy but as i read on i think you showed that your concerns are founded in some very odd behaviour and he may well be a paedo

Anonymous · Answer

Ask him about his childhood. He is surely more than 0% pedo. How much I don't know. But I'm certain of that for reasons I won't mention. But if he is always bring it up yeah that is a problem. Talk to him about it. Don't just walk away without talking to him about it. Find out the truth. Then after that maybe get him some help as just a friend.

AaronKrieger · Answer

There is a possibility he is one, but at the same time he could just be weird and is into certain kinks that could make him look like a pedophile if the signs are vague.

MackToday · Answer

Definitely some legitimate signs. For a little money you can do a back ground check on someone , see if he's got a record for that sort of thing. I'd just ditch him the part about your little sister is just way too creepy.

Anonymous · Answer

um... well first off, there's no indication that he's ever done anything involving pedo stuff. People say children are beautiful all the time. Check out facebook. There's a shit ton of people calling people's kids beautiful. Secondly, if his behavior makes you uncomfortable, TALK TO HIM about it. Or just walk away. He deserves better than to be stuck in a relationship with someone who doesn't trust him and doesn't care enough about him to talk to him about concerns.

englisc · Answer

It could be a sign. Even if not, those comments are pretty weird and creepy. Get rid of him.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah get tf out and report him to the police. They probably won't do anything, but if it ever turns out that he rapes someone and you said nothing you will have to live with that.

Mikemarston30 · Answer

Call the police immediately he's dangerous , don't let him anywhere near your sister , break up with  Please for your own sake and your sisters don't take these comments lightly

Anonymous · Answer

Doubtful he is a molester but he is a manipulative weirdo.

PondyPand · Answer

erm yeah get the fuck out

Thatsamazing · Answer

Yes you're overreacting and this is dumb.

RLovesD7792 · Answer

go with your gut instincts they're never wrong

I think my boyfriend is a pedophile?

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