Why is she leading me on?

[Anonymous]

This girl I have liked for a long time. We are really close and there's this thing she does and it kills me but that's why I am attracted to her. For instance, on many occasions, we would be hanging out and we would be flirting and whatnot. Later she would talk to me and say, "I can't put myself in situations like this because its risking me and my boyfriend" (this is before she broke up with him). But then the next day she came over to my place and we watched a movie together. Later now, she broke up with her boyfriend, idk how long ago. Maybe like 3 weeks ago. But, again I asked her out to like go get pizza or coffee and she's like yeah that's sounds great! She says, "but just to let you know, I don't think I like you like that, I mean your a great person. " But she agreed to go out on a date with me. Is she trying to hide her true feelings for me? Is she afraid that she might hurt our friendship? I don't know if she is confused or just unsure.

Updates

+1 y

Ok good news...I took her out yesterday..and it was "officially" a first date with her...and it was..PERFECT. Everything just fell in place and no more or no less was needed. I am still on shock from it. I just have this gut feeling we are meant.

[mytsoguy]

I'd say both -- confused and unsure. And maybe a bit apprehensive as well. She just fell off the horse so she may be reluctant to hop right back on. Even if the last boyfriend was a total a-hole she invested emotional capital into that relationship and is not willing to let herself go so easily into another one. If she is still sending mixed messages that means there is some interest. Don't push her or she will more than likely run (girls run too -- not just guys). Give it some time and then after a few dates see where things stand. If she is interested in you, she won't let you go.

[Asker]

Dude. Just thank you. Cause I really thought like. I don't know if she really has feelings for me or whatnot. What you said makes sense.

[sweetmisery14]

Sounds like she wants to keep that option still open, but doesn't want to make any decisions right away. Also could be that she likes the attention from you and what not, that's why she agrees to go on dates and stuff, but won't give signs of commitment.

she's probably still figuring out what she wants right now anyways.

just don't act too desperate. Make yourself unavailable and have things to do, because if she is unsure about you, being away from you, will probably get her to want more since it sounds like she likes something about you.