Is my intuition right about him? Am I reading him wrong, guys?

[Anonymous]

Does he like me or not guys? Colleague at work does the following:

1. In the first week of starting work there he sees me in lunch room by myself, goes to 'get some food' and makes conversation. Asks: - how old I am
- notices that on your FB profile you are friends with someone he knows (so yeah he checked my FB profile)
- Asks whether I exercise / work out;

2. Invites me to church with his guy friend (another colleague);

3. Makes sure that he walks past my corridor where I'm sitting and says bye to me just about every night before he goes, saying something sweet like 'I bid thee good night.'

4. Shares about his previous long-term relationship and other deep personal stuff;

5. Says that we have a similar journeys in our relationships (I also left my relationship);

6. Says it's 'scary' that his ex and me share the same nick name, and that he and my ex both play the same musical instrument;

7. Smiles and jokes with me and talks with me a fair bit (OK he is a chatty friendly guy generally).

Just need to figure out whether I've read too much into this, going nuts, or right about him being attracted to me.

[Miss_Chris]

Well, I think you're looking into it a bit too much, but nothing wrong with analyzing things. I would also say he's attracted to you. He obviously has some trust in you and seeks companionship of sorts with you if he's telling you deep or personal things. People tend to be attracted to a multitude of things, and oddly enough we tend to fall for the same thing a lot of the times, especially if a person has that... "it" thing. In his eyes, it seems like you have that "it" thing to him. The small talk thing isn't something too much of a big deal because we all do small talk to get to know someone, but seeing as it's advanced from "Do you exercise? What's your age? Etc." shows that he's okay and even comfortable with showing you the breadth of himself. But if his ex and you share a lot of similar qualities he might be nervous to ask you out because history may repeat itself. People find comfort in things we know, that being said, people find discomfort in things they've experience and know. That's probably why "scary" is the word of choice here, being confronted with someone similar to his ex, he gets to re-experience those good feelings, all the enphorines and oxytocin, through you, but he probably doesn't want to be walking down the same path again.

[Asker]

i think he means it's 'scary' too because it's almost like we mirror each other... so much synchronicity in our experiences. It's a bit like he's a male mirror of me. although we are obviously different too - i mean i'm very feminine while he has appealing masculine characteristics. So we are similar and yet different in a good way.

[Anonymous]

Seems like he's REALLY interested in you. He tries to know you better - more precisely - to know everything about you.
Invite you is a way to have you with him a little more than normally. He shares his personal life with you because he trustes you. When he tries to find points in common with you as for the relationships, it's to make you see that you're similars in a certain way and because people who have a lot in common tend to be close friends or more.
Smiles and jokes is to make him look kind and agreeable to you which is the best way to make you like him.

Did I help you?

[Asker]

Yes thank you! that was helpful. I think yes he trusts me otherwise wouldn't feel comfortable to share so much. Our similarities is what draws us in. A little freaky but in a good way :)

[Anonymous]

The only thing I would say about this situation is the same nickname as his ex. You see he is trying to establish if he wants to get to know you more but if the past relationship wasn't very good then this could cause problems becauae unconsciously this could bring back memories of her and not good ones, which could cause him to have issues with you if it gets deep maybe drop the nickname or find a different one so not to trigger any bad memories of his x then see how that works out. Hope this helps

[koibito]

YES. A firm YES. He does like you and is trying to get to know you more and trying to test your reaction to see if you like him back.

But until he actually asks you out, don't fall over too much heads over heels for him. For me, this is a kind of casual level of effort, a kind of passive and low-effort attempt to catch the eye of the girl (you) he kinda likes/finds cute.

You can try to respond positively to him, but again don't "fall for him" yet until he makes a proper move. Or if you don't mind being the initiator (which I don't approve because girls will tend to get the non-committal kind of guys that way).

[Asker]

thanks you are right and that's wise advice.

[Ishocnar]

Well... Yes and Yes to both your questions LOL. Yes I think he likes you and yes you are reading to much into this. I think he likes you as a person and is still trying to decide if he likes you more than that as well. i dont think he knows how he feels yet. Right now he is just playing the friendly game and seeing if he is ready to look deeper.

[Asker]

Hmm thanks for that. just didn't want to think like i'm going nuts cos nothing has progressed from here. It's just the same! LOL. I'm not a patient girl. I've asked him to my church like twice but he is busy. Geez.

[Asker]

oops didn't mean to dislike ur answer. my accident LOL!

[jasontheface]

he seems to be testing the water if u know what i mean and is waiting for you to make a move maybe also if he goes to church maybe he is looking for a serious relationship possibly marriage and wants to know more about you , he clearly likes you and i think you should make an effort to make further conversation after all communication is the key to all relationships so go for it and good luck so what if it ends up he ain't interested well he was giving all the signs to say he was. my opinion sorry if im wrong u asked lol good luck again hope it genuinely goes well for you

[Sixtus64]

He's very interested, perhaps a little shy and hesitant. Dating someone you work with can be awkward and has to be thought through. If he keeps this up but doesn't ask you out, he may be just in the market for a friend or something is holding him back. Affairs of the heart are hard to discern.

[Asker]

yeah it's a difficult situation. he wants to do the right thing and not rush into anything he would regret. I understand the difficult predicament he's in. so he's taking his time and that's good. i think the time is good for the both of us :)

[beautifulife]

Yeah he likes you, but it's just the very beginning stages. I cannot imagine a guy being that nice and courteous without liking you. Not sure if it's as something more or as a friend, but he definitely shows a tinge of interest. Go out with him and get to know him more. maybe it'll blossom from there.

[han888]

I actually think he does like you! EH! :)

The next step is to get his number... or ask to hang out outside of college. Maybe go to church with him again.

Good Luck! x

P. S If you want, you can message me, I'll reply for sure! :)

[Asker]

Thanks han888! He's mysterious. I think I'm in love LOL. So sexy.

[han888]

Aw! Ya! Feel free to message me if you want! :)

[blondie_girl]

Yes he likes you, he makes an effort to engage with you. If he didn't like you he would ignore you like you didn't exist or be very short with you. I know from experience.

[Asker]

yeah the other guys at work do the same. they ignore me and are kinda short. so yeah thanks.

[cinderellasm85]

He sounds so sweet! You're not reading too much into it! He's showing you the right signs of interest and giving you a great amount of respect. He probably hasn't asked you out yet since he's still scarred (apparently from what you mentioned) from his previous relationship. How long have you been working there? I'm assuming how ever long you worked there is how ever long you've known him. Has he added you to facebook? If he did, has he commented and liked your posts a lot?

[Asker]

haha. Yeah he's really charming. it's complicated. he doesn't want to make a move I think because things are still raw/new for me coming out of my relationship. He is a gentleman so i don't think he wants to rush into this as too much is at stake if it's a bad move. he's not on fb :( i'll try to be patient. haha. not my strength.

[cinderellasm85]

Well you know he's interested and that's a plus! I'm so happy for you :-)

[Zigzagz]

duuuuuh. if he wasn't motivated by attraction, why would he spend so much time and effort communicating with you? not to be blunt XD

[Asker]

haha. yeah ok. it's just that he's a friendly guy generally. and i have a girlfriend who thinks i'm imagining it all. And that makes me question my intuition about him. i know i shouldn't - because i'm usually right. I can tell when someone likes me or not.

[Anonymous]

What ever happens , happens that's how you have to think you have to stop reading into it. If likes you something will happen if he don't then it won't. I always do this and it drives me crazy to the point I think about it every second and get nothing done. Just let things happen. It sounds like he does like you but be patient

[LookAgain]

You know to be honest it seems like he misses his ex. In quite a bit of ways his ex and you have a lot in common. So it's very possible that is his way of not letting go of his ex yet. He seems like a sweet guy but I would be careful and just pay attention to how much he talks or compare you and his ex. If it's often then yes he's looking for someone to replace his ex. Good luck.

[citroen]

I get impression he's still hung up on his ex a bit, coz i think when you like someone why would you bring you ex into a converstation, he prob likes you but make sure he's not looking for someone like his ex, if you date him, look for signs of comparing you to his ex, he's seems to be doing that already, and he's not even dating you, find someone who believes you are unique and likes you for being you, not because you remind him of his ex,

[thetundrawolf]

Your instincts are never wrong, if you can listen to them. Yes, he is interested.

[Asker]

interesting you say that. can't sometimes our instincts/intuition be wrong - e. g. wanting to believe something that we really want. For me, I don't think that every guy who is friendly to me is attracted to me, it's just that sometimes there are guys who go out of their way it seems or share more than expected as a work colleague / acquaintance and you just wonder.

[thetundrawolf]

That's your heart. Your heart "Wants' Just Bieber because he is just so hot. Your instincts are telling you he's a multimillion dollar narcissist incapable of true love.

I deluded myself around the wolves and did not listen to my instincts, I told myself what I thought I knew they were thinking and feeling. This is folly.

We must learn to listen to our gut, and even to hush our heart long enough to hear. One day our heart will say the same thing our gut is, and that is when you know you are looking at the One.

[Asker]

Yes I get what you're saying tundra wolf. In this case my heart wants him to be right, but my gut says yes he is attracted to me but he is unsure at this stage and so am I. We are just going to wait and see. Being co-workers we see each other almost every day so no point rushing into something we would regret later.

[thetundrawolf]

Thank you... play it by ear.

[Anonymous]

He definitely seems interested, yes.
If he's not asking you out, for just the two of you, you should ask him out... if you like him, of course.

[Asker]

thanks. not asking him out. it's too desperate and puts him in a corner. i think he knows that i'm interested too. he's just waiting for right time and taking time it's all good.

[Opinion Owner]

That's true, there really is no rush.
But I don't think asking him out is desperate, just like him asking you out isn't desperate either.
Best of luck! I hope you guys get together soon!

[CaptCrisp]

I agree with Ishcnar. "... still trying to decide if he likes you more than that as well. i dont think he knows how he feels yet."
Give him a little more to work with, it'll get the ball rolling. He could be nervous.

[TheGreatEd]

To be short and simple he is interested in you.

With that being said the fact that he invited you to his church makes me think that he is still in the friendly stages trying to figure you out; making sure you're a girl that his family would approve of and things like that.

[Lockfrost]

I think that he first wants to know you better, just to dicide whether or not try to do something with his feeling towards you. Remember that he has had several relations, he might be afraid of feeling sad and lonely once again. Just let him have some thinking about it.

[Roarke]

i didn't even read your topic beyond the point where you said 'colleague at work'. sweetheart, never, ever, ever get romantically involved with a co-worker.

oh, did i say never?

[abundantlyrich]

He likes you but not making a move yet for some reason.

[CourtLove57]

Yes he likes you. Yes you're reading too much into it. If he's got you going bananas ask him out for coffee or something if you'd like to take it further.

[Niceguyscumlast]

Yep you have a semi stalker who checks out another persons FB kind of creepy if you ask me. He is attracted to you.

[Littlemike16]

No I believe he wants you just to affarid to ask you out