How to stop hating women?

Question

I want to know how to stop hating women. I just can't help it, the way they've treated me, it's unbearable, and I can't feel anything but pure hate for them. It's their fault that I'm always miserable, their fault that I want to die, it's them, all of them! I hate them for creating the friend zone, I hate them for always rejecting me, always trying to make me miserable, making sure that I could never be happy. And then they blame me for it, as if it's my fault. It's always our fault, it's always our fault that you rejected us, our fault that we got friend zoned, YOU created the friend zone, it's YOUR fault, not mine!! And, it gets worse, they always want these stupid perfect guys, well, I hate their stupid douchebag boyfriends took they deserve to be just as miserable as me!!! I wish everyone was as sad and alone as me, if I deserve it, so does everyone!!! And I don't care that the world doesn't revolve around me, my world revolves around me, just like a woman's world revolves around her and no one else!!! I could do anything, I could take a fucking bullet for a girl and they still wouldn't love me, I could sacrifice my life for her, for the whole world, and she still wouldn't love me!!! It's not fair, why do I have to be miserable and lonely, and they get to be happy and gleeful, breaking the hearts of men like me? And then, people say, "oh, you'll meet someone" I don't want to meet some woman when she's 30+!!! I hate that people say that, oh, you'll meet a girl that will really love you, no, more like some 35 year old finally giving the nice guy a chance because the dick she had two kids with left her and she needs money and security? Well, I don't want that, finally getting a woman when she's loose, aging, and far past her sell-by date? Maybe for you, but not for me!!! They've always done this to me, how can I not hate them?

Okay, rant over, so, how do I stop hating women so much?

Littlestarr · Accepted Answer

You sound extremely sexist and you need to seek some help and go to a therapist before you turn out like Elliot Rodger   Seriously the way you are feeling is not normal everyone gets rejected it is no excuse to have such violent hateful thoughts. If you are filled with so much hate all the time NO ONE will want to be around you men OR women will want to keep their distance. I think your best option is to find a therapist and sort this out because hating an entire half of the human population is not ok in any way shape or form. I've had many boys act like you and I rejected them to protect myself, because they would insult me and treat me like shit and then turn around and say "but I'm such a nice guy! I'd do anything for you!" but actions speak louder than words and all they gave me was empty promises and false claims of being wonderful guys while in reality they just walked all over me. My current boyfriend was hurt and manipulated by his last girlfriend but despite this he still held onto his feminist beliefs and was respectful and kind and I acted the same towards him. We both know what it's like to be hurt and manipulated by people does that mean I started hating all men? no! does that mean he started hating all women? no! We didn't let the cruelness of others turn us cold and cruel as well and we found each other because we held onto our kindness through it all. We never fight and we never argue we view each other as equals because viewing the opposite sex as some alien lifeforms like you are does not help you understand them we are all human and we all just want to be treated with respect. If anyone has the right to hate the opposite gender it's me but I don't. I was attacked outside the mall by a rapist he said he was going to kill me as well. I was only 15 and wearing baggy old clothes I had to fight for my life that day and luckily got away with only a knife scar I would have rather gotten rejected 100 times than have to live through that day.

TheDevilInside · Accepted Answer

First of all, I know that you're angry. But I ask you to please read what I say with a cool head and an open mind. I hate it if I'm trying to be helpful and the QA is all just closed up in their own little worlds and unwilling to genuinely listen to any advice, they just want to rant and seek validation. That is not what I want here, and I hope you're not one of those QAs. MMy tone will be neutral, so if you comment with emotional tone, I will take it as like talking to a wall. OK?

How have they treated you? Have you ever tried to put yourselves in their shoes? How old are you? Are you sure it's not just immaturity that makes you think about those things about women? I'll say this: when I was younger, I was more narrow-minded due to lack of experience. So I had pretty strong thought about some things too, because of my narrow-mindedness. I wasn't able to always put myself in other people's shoes and try to understand why that person does this or that. Sometimes if you try to understand why a person did this or that, you'd find yourself having more tolerance and not so angry anymore at that person.

If by "how they've treated me" you mean how they always reject you in a nasty rude way, there are things you should evaluate before you place the blame on them.
1. What kind of girls do you approach? Realise that hot girls get hit on and perved on a lot by guys, so they have to be sick of it. So they don't even bother to be nice anymore because they're exhausted by guys who can't take no for an answer. And they have other options anyway, so they feel like they can afford to be rude to a guy or two.
2. How was your approach? I guess some people don't realise that when they look at someone, their eyes can seem to be intense and intimidating, in simpler words "creepy". You might want to ask a female friend about that. practice with her.

"I don't want to meet some woman when she's 30+!!!" What's wrong with 30+ women? Not all are failures as you described.

Wondorous · Accepted Answer

1. Let it go.
Stop committing your thoughts to such mass negativity. This is your main problem. Instead of progressing and moving forward, you're choosing to stay stuck in reverse by devoting a significant amount of your mental energy towards something unhealthy and completely unbeneficial. There is no true benefit in being a hateful human being. Hating women, or hating anyone for that matter, is a disservice to yourself. Hate is ugly; it will smother so many wonderful possibilities and it makes you look like a subpar human being. Is that what you want to amount to? A less than average human being? You need to let it go or you're going to harm your future and the quality of your thoughts.

2. Take accountability.
It's pre-mature to point the finger and insist that tons of strangers are responsible for your problems. That's not even a rational claim. If women are consistently rejecting you then maybe it's time for you to take a humbly honest look at yourself and ask if there's something about you that is widely unattractive. Rejection doesn't mean someone has some evil plot to make you miserable. It can come from many different reasonings, but it's usually because they can't see themselves having something with you romantically and that's okay. Just accept that they can't see a romantic future with you instead of letting all of this nasty hate grow inside of you. Also, the "friendzone" is complete and utter bullsh*t. It's some imaginary zone where people simply cannot humbly accept that the one they wanted is not interested in them romantically. The "friendzone" is simply a state of mind that you choose.

If you don't listen to me, then you will only be tainting the quality of your own happiness and peace of mind.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Wow. Why would any woman choose you if, after she turns 30, you're going to call her a loose, aging, grandmother past her sell-by date? Despite what you've been telling yourself, you're not a nice guy looking for love. You're a horny, selfish boy looking for the next hot, young thing.

dons220 · Accepted Answer

What you need to do is realize that your mentality is centered around blame. You need stop thinking about the world in a way where something is always someone's fault. Realize that everything around you is very complicated and most things that happen are only the result of how things have played out. An example, you don't know what other people are thinking or what their past experiences are and what they've taken away from those experiences. You seem like you've had bad luck and blaming women is the way you cope with it. Take the world as it is, finding an object of blame shouldn't be where you thinking takes you. Be more open, be more understanding, acknowledge what you don't know and don't forget there is always something you've never thought about that plays a part in the dynamics of the world.

And don't be afraid to look at yourself either. Sorry to say that if you are having that much trouble, you may want to take a constructive look at yourself. It's very apparent that you have an unhealthy view of the world and other people. Judge less and realize your own ignorance. Whether you just get mad at this information or let it help you is up to you.

And stop thinking of women the way you seem to be doing. Women are complicated people, not robots. You can't just be a "nice guy" and expect that should have a girl or that a girl should want you. They have their own interest, their own agendas, their own ideas and desires that shape who they are as people. What you need to do is decide what kind of person you want to be and to work at being that person. For get about doing things to get a woman. Aspire toward becoming a better person yourself, work towards that, and when you do start meeting people and having real relationships. Being with a woman isn't about seeing a girl and wanting her. It's about finding someone you can connect with as a person.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I used to feel similarly to you (though with less hatred and anger) and what I came to realize is that women were not the problem, but I was the problem.

I felt entitled to a woman because I was nice to them, I felt like women didn't want nice men like me, they wanted jerks and I even felt that some women purposely rejected me out of spite and the more rejection I faced, the disappointment of being accepted but then left behind for someone new, the more angry, bitter and resentful I became and I turned from a nice guy to a nasty one, but was I nice to begin with or was I always a nasty guy?

But then I began to question just why I wanted a girlfriend so desperately. What caused this need in me, this air of desperation? Why did I feel so entitled to a girl? And I came to the realization that I wanted a girlfriend for all the wrong reasons. I wanted a girlfriend to cure my shattered self-esteem, my bruised ego, to cure my lack of confidence. Then I began to question what I could offer a girl.

That's when the penny dropped. I had nothing of any worth to offer a girl. I was a broken person and I had nothing to offer except for insecurities, anger, bitterness, frustration and resentment. I was too busy pointing the finger at everyone else when it wasn't they who were the problem but me.

You see nobody can fix you but you. You can delude yourself into believing that the World owes you a good woman, love and all the happiness and joy a close connection to someone special can bring you and you can believe in your heart that this will fill of the voids that exist within you. But you're wrong, it will merely paper over the cracks of your very foundations.

It's a long winding road, but you can change for the better and you can grow as a person.

Harrison4073 · Answer

I usually hate this website for it's annoying titles but this guy makes a very good point that you should listen to.  I get rejected, I've experienced unrequited love an awful lot of times and it's a pain of course but these things happen. I don't hate women because I haven't found one who likes me as that would be ludicrous. There's far far far more to women than what you seem to perceive as objects just to have sex with, they are people too who deserve respect and you should never forget that. No-one owes you sex and you should understand soon or else you will go down a very dark route. Stop being a misogynist and you might find that women like you more.  Whenever I get rejected I never blame the person who rejects me. I used to blame myself but I don't advise that either as that lead to some real self esteem problems for myself. I think these things take time and if you're not an asshole someone at some point will see you as a great person.

ItsSoFluffay · Answer

First things first. You have no right to a girl. A girl friendzoning you may hurt if you actually like her but she has every right to say no. You would not ask your friend if they want a chip and then get pissed at them for saying no. Rejection hurts but you can't get angry because it will ruin you. You have to own the rejection and let it be. And I hate to say it but you do sound a little whiny.

The best thing is to build your confidence and self assurance and you will be irresistible to women.

bakegyllenhaal · Answer

You're a real nice guy, huh? Where are you hiding your fedora?

Okay, man, clearly you're doing something wrong. I know that you want to blame women for your being alone, but you kind of have to look at yourself to see why they're doing that to you. You might think that you're a nice guy in comparison to all of those "asshole" dudes out there that all of the girls date, but you know what? There's probably some girl out there that you've put in the friendzone because you're not attracted to her. That's life, man. I agree with HokkaidoWolf. You do sound like a whiney bitch. If women aren't allowed to have the option to put you in the friend zone, then you shouldn't be allowed to deny women over 30. People are allowed their preferences, dude. You're the problem.

yaddayaddayadda02 · Answer

First things first. It is YOUR fault you get in the friend zone. No one else's.

Second, you have to stop hating women. I get the feeling, but you have to understand that how women act is innate. You would not "HATE" all sharks if one came up and bit you on the leg. It's a shark. It's doing what is in its nature.

itsme_goodsamaritan · Answer

Your argument made total sense until you started making fun of the 30+ women. Even if you have views like that, please keep them to yourself. I know a lot of 30+ women, and what you say would hurt them so much. When you are so hurt yourself, how can you hurt someone else. Maybe, there lies your problem!

AchingSoul24 · Answer

Oh wow... ummm I don't know what I can say to help you sweetheart. I understand why you feel the way you do and its only natural after so much rejection to have some resentment in your heart. The only thing that I can say right now is that you need to take it easy on yourself. Try to take a break and relax. Don't worry yourself over such issues... get yourself busy with other things so that so much of your life doesn't have to revolve around women. People suffer from rejection every day... you're not the only one.

I don't wanna give any advice thats gonna come under the "bullshit reassurance" category. But you need to know that such feelings of resentment, although they come from badd experiences, are not healthy at all and they will only make you unhappy and constantly suffer.

HeyJustBeingMe · Answer

You give us normal guys a bad look..
love is not something you push or just have. it takes effort and effort only.
i read "And, it gets worse, they always want these stupid perfect guys, well, I hate their stupid douchebag boyfriends took they deserve to be just as miserable as me!!!"

those bf never last long because there is no perfect guy. everyone has its flaws and mistakes.
so do you by saying all this.
my sex drive is even higher than your hate, my body screams for sex but do you think i would give it up for some random girl i date with, and go to bed with? nop. im waiting for someone i can truly love and respect.

you know.. you sound like a spoiled kid. why?
act more like an adult would you.

PT1911 · Answer

You don't have mental issues, you just needed to let off some steam. 95% of Women our age are complete fucking idiots, they only care about how to advance their social life and how to use people and suck their own dicks. You gotta try to find the 5% . I've been rejected so many times that it no longer hurts, and when women approach me at bar/club, I tell them to fuck off, because what their little game is. Just don't let it get to you, and sometimes we just to vent our frustration to someone. Do not wish death upon yourself, those are dark and dangerous thoughts. People like you and me are the good guys who are just sick of everyone shit, after trying to do the right thing, and people jusylt throw us out like trash. In the end though, karma, what goes around comes around

HelloWorldHello · Answer

Try to find Jesus and religion to help you get rid of your depression. These are harsh times and even for me it's sometimes hard not to feel rejected or to feel good enough. All you see is perfect people doing perfect things on tv and in the city, it can sort of make you feel bad.

When you have the right energy and you keep calm only THEN will you meet somebody, so yes it's true you will meet somebody one day. But not when you are looking for her, only when you focus on healing yourself and stay positive and do your thing, then one day you will meet somebody who shares a similar view of the future. Then its up to you if you recognize it and keep it like you should.

MothMonsterMan · Answer

I can sympathize with you. I had a (and sometimes still do) a very condescending attitude towards women. And I wasn't afraid to show it. You know what's funny? I banged more girls when I was a total asshole to them than I EVER did when I was a nice guy.

The only thing you can do is just go on in your life and keep your guard up. Learn from your experiences from all the women who HAVE mistreated you and when the right woman comes along, you'll know.

Oh and stop worrying about ages. 35 year old woman is NOT old. I've even hooked up with a 50 year old who was banging hot! Trust me, you'll be fine into your 30's, 40's and so on.

pavlove · Answer

Woah.

Dude, you just can't be negative or you will drown. The world is as you see it. There are so many things you can do to have better luck with women you just have to stop feeling like they all want to reject or they will. We, as men, may sometimes prey on girls who don't think they are good enough but that's because we want SEX. If we wanted relationships as much as most girls do, then we would not want to be involved with girls who will clearly be problems if faced with a relationship.

Guys have had way worse done to them than be friendzoned so do not feel bad or good about yourself for what has happened. DO NOT THINK ABOUT IT ANYMORE.

AlexCab · Answer

GET PROFESSIONAL HELP and move away from pointy objects. Man, your whole rant invalidates whatever desire anyone can have to help you. You need a shrink, urgently.

ASOIAF · Answer

I'm in a similar situation to you.

Its not their fault. They didn't choose to find you unattractive. Its not your fault either. Its most likely you got dealt a bad hand in terms of genetics and environment. So its partly your parents fault and partly bad luck.

I don't really have any actual advice, if I did I wouldn't be on here talking, I'd be putting it into practice for myself.

Whatever2929292 · Answer

Well yea... Some women are horrible don't get me wrong. But not ALL women are and just hating random strangers who have done nothing to you is kind of just... Retarded and not fair.

There are women like this too who have been mistreated by men and just hate all men the rest of their life. Including ones who have done nothing to them again retarded

BrunetteNYC · Answer

Your attitude sucks and at your age, a person should be fresh and ready to take on the world. You're depressed and that's inherited. You need therapy. Honestly, it's not an insult, just a way to help yourself. You are far too jaded and pessimistic for someone who'd probably had no real life or very little experience with women.

Roycaryn · Answer

The biggest factor that affects misogyny/hatred of women is emotional entitlement (Surprise!). This is extremely common in families where kids are raised with financially well off, yet emotionally weak or unavailable parents. This sort of thing (albeit to a lesser extent) is frequent in societies where men were expected to take over the "family affair" and children typically died at young ages. Its also largely to blame for the cultural attitudes towards gender we have today.

IsabelleBk · Answer

Hey, just because one girl hurt you does not mean all girls out there will. Not all guys think yellow or act the same way, there are completely different women out there with different personalities. Completely different.

Anonymous · Answer

bbe u can't hate a gender based on what 1 person or maybe 100 out of that gender just like men every woman is different and unique from the other and if u got a couple tiny reasons 2 hate women i got a couple 1000 ones don't take what i said personally i am just saying that it differs from each woman and another and not a single gender is perfect we both have negatives and positives

carnix · Answer

OK... Well not everybody is nice, and perhaps women think you're not dateable/worthy... It just is how it is, but then don't hate them..

Anonymous · Answer

Oh buh huh, you poor little man! Stop whining, you sound like a bitch.

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