Guys : A reason why you lose interest in the girl you had crush on..before getting to know her ?

[Anonymous]

what are the various reasons you loose interest in the girl you had a crush on.

you just behave friendly. but not much and you have her number. but never text her or talk to her.

[Anonymous]

He may be intimidated by you..

You may have not given him the right cues for him to do the leap of faith..

You may have played hard to get too hard and he may have gotten fed up about playing games or lost hope...

He may have found the girl of his dreams/gotten back with an old gf/a girl with more initiative may have taken him by the reins..

Why don't you make the first move? You're obviously interested. Guys and girls are not that different from one another, you may have given him the wrong signal (or he may have misread you). If you want him to go after you, throw him a bone (flirt with him, or just plain ask him to hang out)...Just because guys are supposed to do the first move, it doesn't mean that girls shouldn't.

Imagine your "soul-mate" is looking and smiling at you from one side of the bar and you do it back, but some rando girl goes to him, talks with him and takes him to dance. Do you let him go? You will probably never see him again if you don't do something (maybe after he finished dancing with the girl he's not really interested in)..

OR do you instead look at him drift away and wait until some inferior man comes to you?..if you wait for one to come to you, they are choosing you, not the other way around..

I'm sick of seeing hot girls with ugly beasts..women, take charge! If not, content yourselves with guys that are not as hot/nice/smart/talented as the ones that you know you could be with..the uglier girl with more initiative got him, just like the uglier guy with more initiative (less to lose) got you...

[Asker]

"I'm sick of seeing hot girls with ugly beasts..women, take charge! If not, content yourselves with guys that are not as hot/nice/smart/talented as the ones that you know you could be with..the uglier girl with more initiative got him, just like the uglier guy with more initiative (less to lose) got you..."

this para Shows how UGLY you are.......but change yourself Dude...

[Opinion Owner]

All I see here is that girls could do better if they did something instead of just waiting for prince charming to arrive..

Also, the use of "uglier" does not only apply to aesthetics, it also applies to tools, scum, etc..or are you going to tell me that you have never seen an extremely nice, smart, perfect girl with a gigantic waste of carbon who only ends up hurting her? (or vise versa)

[Asker]

I have seen nice smart attractive girl with nice good looking guy who only ends hurting.wel I thnk it deosnt matter wether the guy is with a good looking girl or not. OR vice versa.

it all depends on the TWO people.

[Opinion Owner]

Forget about looks; there was a misunderstanding here and I apologize for not being clear..I said ugly beasts, implying not necessarily unaesthetic people, but also people who are not right for them, and that just got them because they made a move.

Ugly = unaesthetic, but also = rude, disgusting, mean, scum, etc.

Also, beauty is non-existent, because it lies in the eye of the beholder. For me you could be a 10, for bob next door you could barely reach a 1, etc.

[jdcpa]

she hasn't done anything to show me that the interest is mutual.. anything besides twirl her hair I mean.. if I've invested my pride on going over and initiating, facing rejection, leading a conversation with a total stranger, asking for a number, asking for a date, etc.. and all I get are "subtle" "hints".. then it's easier for me to do some damage control and save myself from getting hurt and just pursue someone else who is more clear and honest about their interest in me too.. rather than feel like the only one who is interested and seem like I'm chasing.. to cater to the other person's fragile attention/validation hungry ego and low self esteem..

guys look for signs of interests.. not little hints.. BIG JUMBO BILLBOARD SIGNS.. and they have to come in multiples.. because we're as perceptive as a bat.. so we might just miss the first couple that you throw at us..

to make matters worse.. throw us too many signs too fast.. and we'll think you're just trying to toy and play with us emotionally to give yourself an ego and self-esteem boost before you move on to someone else..

example: (within 5 minutes)

- omg.. you're so gorgeous

- omg.. your arms are huge

- how often do you go to the gym?

- wow.. your abs are like a rock

- omg.. you're so funny

- you're so smart

- wow.. being an accountant sounds so.. err.. interesting

[seregiel]

To me interest is initial physical attraction plus a like of basic known personality traits. Losing interest can be caused by finding out more personality traits which could lead to dislike or being put in the friend category. Interest could also be lost if she doesn't return the feeling. No guy I know likes to pursue things that don't seem to be going anywhere within the first couple months of interest. Normally they let it die and try to find a new shiny. Or, if he has expressed interest and she declines it, and he still reserves interest in her, out of respect he will discontinue hints and just keep it to himself.

[Asker]

Tel me something...............

how do you find out a persons personality traits .....

[seregiel]

Being around them and talking with them. Mostly body language and topics of choice. You hear someone always going off on bands so the basic conclusions is they like music. You hear enough bands you get a feel for the genre. A genre generally has an associated mood with it. Is it rebellious, spiritual, calming, up beat and fun? Does he listen for good lyrics, or pay attention to how it makes him feel? That would be a clue to intellectual or feeling person.

[seregiel]

That is just one example. In casual questions you learn how long they've had their friends and how many (loyalty? social?), what relationships have been like (looking for long or short term?), hobbies (adventurous, conservative?) and what they do on a saturday night. How they talk, walk, and hold them selves shows how sure of themselves they are, how forward, and how bold. Etc.

[Anonymous]

It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with him. Normally these kind of guys have there focus on other girls. When this "other" girl or girls disappear, they suddenly pop up and text you. Most likely with a "Hey stranger" kind of text. I see this all the time happening to people!

[Anonymous]

i find that some guys just ask for a girls number just to boost their ego and have competitions with their friends just to see who has more girl contacts than eachother..

[smellylittlecat]

I agree with you. My boyfriend was like that. I thought that was really stupid. lol

[Littletad]

There has to be something there in order for us to continue. Like with me, If I find her attractive either by looks or intelligence, then that's my incentive to pursue something with her. But if I don't find any compatibility as I learn more and more, why should I continue?

The fact is you meet quite a few people in your life, but not every one is gonna work. You have to realize when it's just not going to work and move on. Now this is my view of things, and only a handful of my guy friends view this the same way. The others are very immature and have not fully grown up yet.

One of the many reasons a guy might lose interest is because he slept with her. And after that, he hardly has any interest in her. Now I'm not saying this happened in your case, but this sort of thing happens a lot.

[smellylittlecat]

What's wrong with sleeping with her? Didn't you find her attractive and worth going to?

[MoonFight]

When do you realize that it's not going to work? I mean surely there are things that will probably bug you about somebody/someone but don't you think you're being a little bit of a perfectionist? I mean, no body's perfect and they are surely gonna have some flaws. I think balancing the good with the bad helps too. don't you think? I mean, she might have a few kirks here & there but who doesn't? I think a relationship would still be worth pursuing especially if they weren't big matters/issues. :-)

[MoonFight]

...but yeah, I definately see where you were going with this.

[seregiel]

My interpretation: people want what they can't have. When you obtained the forbidden fruit it no longer holds appeal. Time to move on to "newer" and "better" things.

[Kyleis]

As far as the losing interest after sleeping with her.. I would think it's mostly because the guy got what he wanted. And doesn't need to persue. OR, in other cases, he loses interest because she gave it up too fast for the guy, who would rather want to chase, or something like that. Just my two cents. :/

[Anonymous]

I can give four answers:

either the guy is just acting hard to get, or playing it cool with you.

or the guy (this is about me) discovered that you are chatting up all the other guys, hanging out with them and spending your night out... and therefore he'd think that you can't be exclusive to him whatever he does

or he is in a bad current relationship and is just fortifying himself and addressing suspected girls in case he had a break up

or that he recently left the girl he is with (or she left him) and he thought it was a break up so he started looking immediately, but soon they got back to each other, either he couldn't break up with her or she was just playing a game with him and took him back.

[Asker]

What do you mean by playing it cool with you?

and why do guys behave like this I mean playing it cool with you................

[Opinion Owner]

Playing it cool means slowly, like when you are cooking something the more time it takes the healthier it gets, if you cook it so fast it's going to taste amazing but it wouldn't be that healthy... this is a strategy that smart guys follow to make girls think they are different and aren't dying to "date" them, and it also makes you believe the guy isn't only interested in sex, but is trying to get to know you better before starting anything with you, this makes you think he is wiser that others

[Kyleis]

Love the cooking analogy, haha.

[Opinion Owner]

I remember I was so hungry at the time I write that :P

[wally]

maybe you didn't show enough interest in him so he thought he was wasting his time with you.

or you've been playin hard to get and not all guys are patient to wait around, or he could be shy.

contact him and see what's his deal.

[Paullus]

Best response thus far

[musician13]

Well, this hasn't happened to me very often, but the couple of times it did, it was because the girl wasn't anything like I expected. One time the girl was great looking and funny, but after I got her number she had an "issue" with a friend of hers in which she dumped a food tray on her head, just for smiling at me "the wrong way". Never would have seen that coming, and didn't want to see it again, so of course I didn't call her or anything.

[Mikerowave]

Assuming there are no underlying other reasons (such as currently seeing someone else), the main reason tends to be almost the same as how an relationship ends. The feelings that were once there, just gradually fade over time, and over an accelerated timeframe when it's someone you've never been with in the first place.

[germanotaku]

Well only reason I'd stop if I had a crush on someone would be the feeling that my crush has no interest in myself. At least not in the same way that my interest develops :ß

[Euro-Raver]

A lot of the times she turns out to be dumb as a rock. And I'm not talking about book-smarts either, they're just straight up retarded. Oh yea and if she's too easy then there's no challenge and then it gets boring.

[grace123]

That is so low! they are easy because they LIKE u! my god! and then just reject her because she was trying to reach out to you? you need to rethink this strategy! girls can be sensitive about guys like you... to me it doesn't seem like you could get a girl that actually likes you if you only like girls who you have to try hard to get them to go out with you! no offense or anything! I just had to comment on this!

[The-Dude-Next-Door]

I see her displaying interest in another guy so I think "Let him have her." And I give up so easily, because she's technically not my girlfriend anyway.

[TexPlayboy]

If she did something to embarrass me.

Good Luck,

James

[a_man]

hard to find a certain topic. Or maybe he got the #, just to be friendly.

[doctorwhofan23]

Maybe he is too shy to call or text you.