I think I would respond something like this: "Why are you so mean? Are you trying to seem like a total jerk? Nobody likes it when you act like that and your lame attempts to put me down just make you out to be an insecure loser. I have never met a winner in my life who tried to put others down. Winners build people up, losers just try to make others look bad so they can feel good about themselves."
Or perhaps: "Why don't you just grow up? Your put downs and insults make you seem like an insecure little boy. If you are trying to come off like an a**hole and make me not like you then you have succeeded, because I think you are a complete douche. Is that the way you want to represent yourself?--as an insecure, small-minded, immature, little boy?"
If he said "F--k off" to me then I would reply, "No thanks. I don't roll that way, and even if I did, you're not worth my time."
If he knows his insults are having an effect on you and are hurting then he probably will keep it up. If you can realize that he really is just an insecure and immature little boy who has some darkness in his own soul and therefore whatever he says doesn't matter and you can in fact dish it back in a sharp but witty way revealing exactly how he is projecting himself you will win. If you couldn't care less what he thinks about you because you realize how unimportant he is then his bullying will be much less effective, and it will be much less fun for him not only because he doesn't get the desired impact, but the embarrassing tongue lashing that exposes him as nothing more than a mean jerk loser should make him think twice. It really has to start with you not caring about what he thinks of you and not thinking he is any better than you.
The best thing you can do is, ignore him and his sentiment. Be who you are. But not everyone has the strength & patience to be like this.
To this guy for you to stick up for yourself is to:
= If you swear back, it will probably become worse.
= Sock him in the face, which he's probably not worth it enough for you to deal with the consequences.
So here are some other other practical things:
- Become friends with his friends or girlfriend (if you can)... it will shift his control structure.
- If you have a ton of friends involve them in your group.
- Meet this persons' parents if possible, but don't whine at least at first... it may make this guy less aggresive towards you.
- If some told me I am a loser, I'd say... "oh and let me guess, ... that saying this makes you a winner?" maybe his conscience will think about that.
- If he says, eff off say, "Ahh, I am sorry to have irritated you" & move away ... again playing on his conscience.
- If he says, you are stupid, "Say, gosh, I guess that's why we are all in school then!" (if this is a school setting) bandwagon, implies he is stupid just like you are.
Build on your anger, not your fear. Try to get the support of your other peers and tell him to shut up, because he's a nobody. It helps if you have at least one other friend backing you up. Gives you the power to speak up. I think it's better not to prepare your words cos this might stress you out. Just build up the power of your anger and dislike for him and then just tell him what you think of him - what a pitiful little bully he is. It would help to try to avoid him if you can and tell everyone you know how loathsome he is.
My mother used to tell me to be 'superior' and just ignore bullies when I was at school, but this didn't work. My life only got better when, after years of pain, I started speaking out. There is nothing wrong with hitting back with the same weapon when someone attacks you. At school there are no courts - at least in my school there was nobody to defend me. When you hold a 'moral' attitude out of context you just end up becoming the victim and dependent on others' pity and guilt (which they may not feel at all). If it's war, you really have to fight!
dont let anyone treat you like this! people like that deserve a goooodd kick in the ass, so if that happened to me, I'd have beaten him.. I know, it sounds manly , and rude and all that, but I just can't tolerate people like that!
anyways, I'm not telling you to beat him, just avoid him, and if he insists, tell him he is just confirming what his faces sais, that he's stupid and an asshole , and you won't waste ur time with him.. if you don't make others respect u, they will think they can treat you as they want, , and you have to teach them that its not like that , at least not with u.
You take the high road. It's the hardest thing to do but how you handle situations like this can really show what kind of person you are. Walk away and stay away from this people of they are rude. People like that aren't worth the attention you give them. To reply back with some 2 second smart remark will just lower you to their level. Be a bigger person because at least you know you're better than they are.
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Bullying and name calling are horrible things to suffer, in cases like this it always helped me to learn several techniques:
1) learn to turn insults around on the user, deny them their attack by redirecting the insult (ie, if they say you smell, tell them they're just smelling their own unwashed behind.) If you can link a combination of retorts you can demoralize him quickly and eventually deter future conflicts.
2) Learn to invalidate their insults with truth and logic, because insults many times can come from a source of their own insecurity so they many exaggerate or outright lie.
3) simply to ignore their insults, take the path of superiority, Tell them they're not even worth your time to listen to because they're insignificant and petty.
Bullies don't like people standing up to them so they may either escalate or retreat from you, be careful.
Stand up for yourself. Coming from someone who used to be bullied, and as someone who had a short stint as a bitch/bully (I'm not proud of that period) I can say the main reason you are always getting picked on is because he knows you're an easy target. Bullies are insecure people and they have almost like a 6th sense, they can tell who is insecure and weak. Honestly what you say doesn't really matter, it's the fact that you take up for yourself that is important. He is obviously a coward, the fact that he's a bully in the first place and then has the nerve to pick on a girl? People who bully usually have the good sense not to do it to someone who will kick their ass. Just put some fire in yourself and snap off on him.
The best comeback is ALWAYS an amused smile mixed with a little "Haha, you just said that!" eye contact. You don't have to think on your feet to pull it out. And, because it has just the right mix of confidence, nonchalantness, and condescendsion, it ALWAYS puts someone in the place they deserve to be in.
Practice it a bit before you show it off. ;)
I'm a little confused. Why are you scared to stand up for yourself? You teach people how to treat you! You let him talk to you like that, then he is just going to keep talking to you like that. Tell him to stop being a dick and move on in the conversation.
yeah I'm not the type to be scared, that's my problem sometimes
if a guy isgoing to be verbally abusive, some random guy on the street, I'll punch him. lol. I've been in a few fights. not that I do that anymore, I usually just tell them to go f*** themselves and they usually shut up
OMG girl,dont be scared! guys are LOSERS! just say things like this,dont say mean things,then you would be sinking to his level, if he says mean words,search them at DICTIONARY.COM and print the definition out and highlight it and give it to him,and give him proof that your are not the name he called you,keep on doing that for a while,if it doesent start to work, email me at: NotreDameLions@gmail.com I have been abused by boys at my school before.i no exactly how you feel,the guy that was harassing me was WAYYYYYY worse than ur guy.just email me if my plan doesent work,i do boxing so I will handle it.so hope everything works out! :) :) :) :) :)
~Alice
I think Hank Hill said it best.
"Hey fatty . . . you're fat."
Seriously though, just tell him to shut up or something. He's obviously upset because his dad rapes him at night.
Ignore it.
You'll keep your dignity by not responding.
"Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing."
Robert Benchley
US actor, author, & humorist (1889 - 1945)
tell him he's an inspiration for birth control. and if he keeps saying something annoying over and over, "if I throw a stick, will you leave?" That should pretty much slow him down.
say look in a mirror with a straight not scared and walk away, don't giggle just walk away confidently and have some buddies close by just in case :)
Call a friend and go talk to the person with you friends.
say "Oh I didn't know they piled sh*t that high"
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