Would a guy lose interest if he doesn't see a girl often?

[Anonymous]

That is if he's even interested in the first place..cause there's someone whom I kept seeing over the summer vacation at college events, and he would look at me quite a bit, like when he thinks I'm unaware, leaving a place I'm at, when he's beside me etc. Once he quietly sat behind me and when I was told to get stuff, he immed rushed forward to help me.

And he's pretty subdued and quiet during conversations (which I always have to initiate) though he's not known to be like that! And when term started, we didn't see each other much,though I added him on Facebook and wished him on his bday. I caught him observing me once, and when we had a long (and dumb) conversation, he kept looking into my eyes without breaking contact. =/ he ignores me when he passes me though.

But..we don't see each other around that much, do people lose interest like that?

[hypercurrls]

hey I don't know if you still like him or anything, but this is what happened to me. I met this guy whose really shy and I knew I was probably never going to see him again if I didn't do something. so the next day when I saw him, I told him this.. "hey, umm I've never done this before, but I think you're really cute, and I doubt I'll ever see you again, but here's my number. okay, bye" then I walked off. my mind was spinning. I couldn't believe I actually did that. he texted me 2 days later. :)

now all I got to do is figure out how to get him to open up. I know it's going to take some time. any suggestions on anything that I could do that would help? anyone?

[donche]

People's interest level will increase by not seeing you all the time, provided they like you a lot in the first place. If they don't like you that much, that's when not seeing you too much will cause the interest level to lower. Think about a guy you liked a lot, a guy you thought about a lot when he wasn't around. That caused you to think about him more! So, the opposite applies, if you don't think about them when they're not there, it only makes you forget about them the longer they're gone. This is why it's so easy to smother someone by being around too much. The anticipation you feel when you like someone keeps you interested.

[A3Angel]

I am in a similar situation - it feels like I only see the guy (we kissed and he works in the same building as me) by chance. We arranged to meet, but then I couldn't make it. That was 3 weeks ago & at first he was still greeting me, but the other day I plucked up the courage to phone him for a chat & he said we'll speak later, he's a bit busy. I get that but does that then mean he doesn't see me often, so he'll forget my existance? Why doesn't he try be in the places I am to see me? I do!

[Asker]

I totally agree. at least being apart "tests" you in a sense to see if you can keep the faith.

A3Angel: hahaha well, you guys are at work right? he's bz with things, you can't expect him to be free all the time to hang ard the placces ur at. and trying to conduct a relationship on the job is abit hard imo.

[Allegory]

He can, until he has something 1 on 1 personal with you to lock interest (a date, a kiss, hold hands something innocent) he will think about you as long as something doesn't trump that interest.

I have said this before but out of sight out of mind for both male and female in the long run. You like him try to talk to him more. Get him to help you (once don't make a habit of neediness) with something you can't provide or do that will give that intimate moment and a opportunity for the small lock to set in. Then from there you can see if it can go anywhere?

[Asker]

Hmmm I'm not too sure. everyone's busy with their own college life, and I myself am not too sure of my interest cause it's been quite awhile since we've seen each other and I'm occupied with lots of stuff...but if there's a chance to talk to him (in person, not Facebook or what) I will definitely do it. its just that that opportunity has never come. and I think it quite odd to suddenly ask him out on a date or sth out of the blue..

[Allegory]

I understand and I am sure part of you wants him to ask you not visa versa. If that's the case you just need to give him motive and opportunity (been watching to many cop shows I guess). Use something you know about him, his world or his interests to get him to help you for a bit, make it clear that your interested a little and see what he does.

I have long since learned you don't make opportunities happen and you can miss out on a lot of fun and people.

[Asker]

Yeah hahaha. part of me wants him to do the impt move, I'm quite traditional that way. I'm not too sure if I should do that too though.. cause like its been abt a mth since we last seen/spoke to each other. and he has a ton of things to do in college...wouldnt he already have lost interest? haha. I never think that guys can keep interest that long :P

and yes I do agree on making things happen. I would go up and talk to him if I had the chance.. but sadly that chance hasn't come for awhile..haha

[MrNameless]

If you don't make a move on him.. You risk the chance of losing on getting to know a potentially great guy.

Forget traditions.. If you like the person and you've never really spoke to them before.. Get some balls and approach them.. or do nothing and risk losing him.

[Asker]

Hmm I want to talk to him in person but there's no chance.. =/ I don't really like doing it the phone or Facebook way. we aren't really that close to do things that way anyhows.. and its been ages since I saw him alr. anyway I was just wondering, why won't the guy take the initiative in times like that? I always face situations like that.. what makes him think that if he doesn't do anything, the girl would? there're still lots of shy girls out there..

[Allegory]

Not just a lot of shy girls but most all of them are shy. Its the really rare one that isn't.

Ok let me put it this way. Guys do all the work when it comes to dating, I know you may argue that point but it's one that I have no problem standing behind on the front page of the NY Times. They do it all in the beginning, a to z ,every bit. Later on it balances out and might even become weighted on the female side over time but in the beginning it's 100% guy responsibility.

[Allegory]

Having said that we get burnout. After a while you stop organizing, chasing, planing, executing and all that unless something is just either out of this world, surprisingly different or you just get a wild hair. Think of it like having to watch commercials for 8 hours a day then have to say which was your favorite. After a while you just start reacting to something different and exciting not necessarily "good".

[Allegory]

You may be great for him and he could easily miss it due to shell shock. Do the guy a favor and take the stress out a bit. Be calm and don't push but do him a solid by helping him in some way. Ask him out to something simple cause you have an extra ticket or need a guy to ward off trouble, something innocent. The key secret is every guy gets tirred of having to execute all this stuff and can pass unless they are sure its worth it. Put some metaphorical skin on the line and do guy work a little.

[bh7878]

From what you say, this guy seems really shy ( around girls at least). What's more likely than him losing interest is that he didn't pick up on any signals and gave up. You also didn't mention being romantically interested in him either; only that you were confused that he's no longer interested in you. Were you interested? and if so is it interest in him or just interest in having someone have a crush on you because it's flattering?

[Asker]

Hello. eh, he's not that shy ard girls from what I can see. he's the total opposite from shy and quiet ard people (be it males or females). not exactly VERY noisy, but he's not what you call quiet. anyway I AM interested in him.and I don't want it to be one-way. hmmm. I've been told I've been giving off negative signals (like I look at him, lookaway or pretend I don't see him),its more out of shyness than disinterest cause I can't handle eye contact.. well how do I make it more obvious then? =/

[bh7878]

Well... if you look at him, look away, and pretend you don't see him then you are literally ignoring him. Doesn't matter if you intend to or not. I'm not sure about how this guy would feel about that, but it would probably p*ss me off. If you stand any chance with this guy, you're gonna have to act more interested than that: say hi to him, flirt, act cute, let him know that you're single (well... at least allude to it), give him sincere compliments. It just doesn't really work any other way.

[Asker]

Hmm. one big issue is we don't see each other very often, and if we do its always very brief and I've to act quickly. erm, flirting and acting cute is not really me, I can't do it naturally w/o feeling disgusted. but being more outgoing, complimenting, being more confident and positive ard him... that I can definitely do...though talking to you abt it has just made me think if it's a little too late now...):

[bh7878]

Well, I'm not going to say it's too late without actually having seen the situation, but I can say that if you're too nervous to even flirt (which you shouldn't have to make a conscious effort to do) then maybe your nervousness comes from over-valuing this person, whom you barely know. The fact that you have trouble making eye contact or flirting smacks of self-esteem issues, which you may want to address. If it is too late... then it's not really a big deal.

[Asker]

Well. I don't flirt cause that's how I am, its not cause I'm nervous.ive seen how flirty some of my gfs are and that's not what I want to be. if I tease the person, then its a form of flirting. shrugs. everyone has some form of self-esteem issues. it escalates when you like someone. that's normal. I will wait for a chance then. thanks

[JustaNiceGuy]

he probably likes you. The ignoring part might be because he's in a rush or he's shy towards you based on him being "subdued and quiet". Gotta start the initiative on a shy guy. I would know because I am one but I can break out of my shell for a girl that I'm willing to go for.

[Asker]

Hey thanks (: he's not KNOWn to be shy or quiet. so I really have no idea why he's like that. its not like I'm so intimidating or drop dead gorgeous. well. I've been told that I've been giving off negative signals.. so I'm not sure how to make it positive...

[bobjoetom2]

Yes. Most guys like eye candy and if they cat get it they may just move-on

[coolmaaz]

Yes people lose interest only if he/she was playing .If person is in love then they will keep thinking

[call_me_dude_ok]

Honestly, to me, you would be a sex conquest challenge only. I would need to see you once in a soon while unless we were actively engaged.

[Asker]

Well that's to you, and he's not you ;)