Would a guy spend time with a girl if he wasn't interested?

[Anonymous]

I've been dating this guy for 2 months. In the beginning, he used to text me everyday. But lately, he's been texting me every other day. It's finally been 3 days and I didn't heard from him, so I decided to call him but he didn't answer. So I texted him "Was hoping to catch you on the phone...wanted to wish you and your family a Merry Christmas, I look forward to seeing you on NYE." He replied with "Merry Christmas to you too, I've been excited about NYE all week!" And that was it.

My gut tells me that he's not really into me anymore. But my question is, why would a guy spend New Years Eve with a girl if he wasn't that interested?

[knowmeyourself]

You're asking two different questions.

1) "why would a guy spend New Years Eve with a girl if he wasn't that interested?"

One of the most important signs of interest is giving you TIME especially when it's a guy. If he wasn't interested, he wouldn't be spending time with you. He has a lot of different things he could do like hanging out with friends/family, hitting the gym, etc...other than being with you.

BUT does his message "Merry Christmas to you too, I've been excited about NYE all week!" mean he'll be spending that night with you? It seems too general to me. You know him better anyway. To me, it seems like saying he's looking forward to having fun on New Years Eve. He didn't mention going out with you. Again, you know him better.

2) "My gut tells me that he's not really into me anymore. "

Your friend might be right too. When things seem to slow down especially in the beginning of a relationship, it means there's a loss of interest. BUT it may also mean that he's been busy or having some problems which need so much focus from him. So, you can't really tell if he lost interest or not. I'd say follow your guts on this one. A girl can feel it if her guy is interested or not, right? :)

Hope this helps. :)

[knowmeyourself]

Forgot to add that if he lost interest, but still wants to spend time with you every once in a blue moon, it's because he likes to keep his options. Maybe his friends are going to be busy that night and you're the only one who showed interested in seeing him. Therefore, you should observe his actions rather than words/sweet gestures. Take your time to get to know him better.

[Asker]

Thing is, he had another offer for New Years but he decided to turn it down to spend time with me instead. We made plans to do dinner on the beach. So I just don't get why he'd want to spend time with me on NYE if he was losing interest..

[knowmeyourself]

He IS interested, but this doesn't mean he's totally committed. You know? A guy would never invest in a girl (especially his time) if he wasn't interested in her. This is why I'm telling you to get to know him better. Don't lose faith in him early on.

[Anonymous]

He does like you,but it does not seem to be serious yet, he could be just taking his time to get to know you and not rush things with you. He may not want to come across and clingy and make you be put off him. Just wait till you see him and let things flow rather than worrying about it so much,if you do look to much into it you won't be able to have fun. Enjoy your time with him and if it develops further than that's great. Sometimes things do frizzle down a little bit in a relationship and sometimes that's not good and other times it could be nothing to worry about so just relax.

[Littletad]

He's probably using you just for sex, or because it's better to have SOMEONE than nothing. In retrospect here, he simply isn't as interested as he was before. I think you should spend new years single, and with friends.

[Asker]

You're right, I might cancel our plans if he doesn't reach out by Saturday the 29th. So we'll see.

But here's the weird thing, he actually turned down an offer for NYE to spend time with me instead. So if he's losing interest, why would he do that?

[Littletad]

Because the other girl wasn't hotter? I'm kidding. The truth is, I don't know much of your history. If you're having casual sex, then you'd probably be more of a sure shot on new years eve than hanging out with someone new that he'd have to wine and dine or impress more. If you're just casually talking, perhaps he's just really unsure of how he feels.

[MikeK]

Better than being alone...

[jacquesvol]

Friend zone?