Did I give the wrong signals? How do I fix it now? Guys, help!

[nermalinda]

I'm worried that I gave all the wrong signs to a guy friend that I really really like. I wonder if he thinks I put him in the friend zone and am not all that interested in him.

Actually, I get REALLY nervous around him because I like him so much, and then I tend to be more stand offish than I want to.

I still talk to him and smile, but that's about it :P

Guys, what are some of those obvious signs you are always talking about needing to feel like a girl likes you?

I am trying to work up to telling him, but am just WAY TOO scared to do that at the moment.

Thanks!

[perfectspace]

ok ... as I agree with all the people who have responded to your question thus far...i think their approach is a bit off.

touching is a definite way to go ...but they need to be subtle touches. when you are talking to him ...just do something as simple as touch his hand for a brief second or his forearm...or if you guys are sitting down...touch his leg...but just for a second... don't keep it there or it will be awkward for both of you especially if you don't ever touch him...what you are trying to accomplish by doing this is...you are increasing the amount of physical interaction...building comfort with each other and each others touch...eventually leading up to a kiss or possibly more.

also though outside of touching...there are plenty of other ways to get him to realize you like him...

when you guys are hanging out talking...play with your hair a little bit...not like in a ditsy manner...but like run your hand through it or tuck it behind your ear and smile at him...

if you wear a necklace touch your necklace while you guys are together.

even something as simple as just a look of interest in your eyes.

these are all things women to do show interest in men...that guys pick up on.

hopefully doing these things will either boost your comfort enough to tell him you like him...which would be my suggestion... or he catches on and asks you out.

hope this was helpful

Brian from www.ideabombs.com

[friendlyadvice]

If you think you're the one who "gave all the wrong signs" think of it as a good sign that you can now fix what you messed up! First off, if you really do like him it may not be a bad idea to talk to him about it and let him know! If you want to show him in other ways (flirting) then start flirting. Don't be afraid to get closer to him, touch him, make eye contact, hint at certain things...

You could also initiate things with him. Give him a call to just talk and ask him about his day...or call him and ask him to join you somewhere! Invite him over to watch a movie and sit next to him. That way you can bundle up and cuddle! If you're finally feeling that he's digging your vibe build up the courage and just let him know how you truly feel.

www.FriendlyAdvice.org - link

[Dollface-86]

Be touchy feely. Not clingy but when you are around him try rubbing your fingers up and down his back ticklin him. or if you are sitting and talking put your hands on his leg and look into his eyes. At some point you are going to have to make a move and tell him.

[Allegory]

Touch, touch says a lot without words and you just need to bite the bullet some point and have a "moment" he will read everything you seem to want to say out of it (trust me guys read female initiated touch that way).

Just some time it feels right cup your hand on his high thigh or better yet cup around his ribs and smile while you look in his eyes. You can just simply say you wanted to do that cause it felt right when he asks why. It's the simplest way to get the point across without words and he will wrap his head around it for a week.

Just be serious that you want this to go somewhere and at some point you need to talk.

[AmirA]

Speaking as a guy, we can be pretty oblivious. If the two of you get along well, if you've talked enough to know he won't disrespect your feelings...I would say just tell him that you like him romantically? Sometimes if a girl is giving out conflicting signals, it's very hard to decipher whether she's shy, uninterested, or even God forbid - playing games. I find it's less awkward discussing emotions in a cool, matter-of-fact way rather than trying to read them from subtle interactions. But it's a very personal thing - depends a lot on the guy and girl involved.

[DoggyDude]

Obvious signs guy want to get from a girl so he know he's liked:

1) Touching us... our hands, our faces, our hair

2) Eye contact. Lots of looking into our eyes.

3) Smiling, big smiles when she sees us, not as big as she gives to others

4) Putting us ahead of her other male friends

5) Being kissed on the lips after a particularly mutually enjoyable conversation (as a kick off)

[Anonymous]

Well first off, tell me exactly what "wrong" signals you sent him and we'll go from there.

[Dollface-86]

She told you. She said she's a little standoffish and keeps him at arms length. That she will smile or talk to him but doesn't really do anything.

[nermalinda]

One of the main things is I got out of a really weird long term relationship this past year, and one of my friends told him about it, so he started asking me about it and basically being sympathetic, so I wonder if that whole thing is making him both wary of me and like I'm putting him in the friend zone...?

[Opinion Owner]

He's not wary of you, he's probably just trying to figure out if it's too soon for you to want another relationship. He doesn't want to ask you out and have you tell him "it's too soon."

I agree with most of the other posters that you need to break the physical barrier, maybe give him a hug that's a little more intimate than one you give to strangers. Tell him he's cute, give him your phone #, mention some movie you wanted to see. He'll get the picture.

[nermalinda]

OK, thanks! :D