I’m far from perfect and definitely have insecurities from past relationships. I met this girl on a dating app. Shockingly we hit it off and chatting turned to phone calls. She let me know she had some health stuff going on and I said I’m still here for her. We went out and kissed on the first date originally she wanted me to meet her family after dinner, I said I want too but too soon. We planned a second but the issues got in the way so, I made due with a phone date. Right around Valentine’s Day. I had bought flowers but never got them to her.
fast forward I notice a slight pull back I ask what’s wrong and this is where I start to let my head get the best of me. I begin to like her more and she pulls back she says because school and her health. Now I believe her but again from past I always found out it was always more to reasons like this usually they moved on to someone new. Which if that was the case I would’ve stepped out of the way.
I get upset and she calls me and tells me she likes me but can’t give 100% at this time. I again let my head get the best of me thinking every girl is like my ex. I send a text saying I still feel there is more, to it which I know I should’ve just let things play out. She didn’t see the message and agrees to get coffee which I know I ruined. Cause of the message. She still talks but I can tell I definitely tell I messed up big time. As I immaturely outed her from my life before I could feel the hurt again.
I didn’t intend to upset/annoy her and make her feel I didn’t believe her I just had to make sure for myself. I didn’t want to feel like a Schmuck again, finding out I’m trying to make it work but there’s someone else. Literally this was all in my head.
I am now giving her space, I feel terrible, is this fixable or did I ruin it with my insecurities always taunting me that I just self destruct and think I’m not good enough for anyone?
What Girls Said
You didn’t mess it up by asking, she already lost interest hence the pull back. If she pulls back and says she can’t give 100% she’s just not that into you. It’s the truth. If she really was then she would never. Especially not as early on as after the first or second date. Just move on. And in the future when people do this just assume they lost interest and move on. Don’t even waste your time asking because they likely won’t tell you the truth and it doesn’t matter anyway. You already know what you need to know so to speak. Don’t continue to invest your time, energy and emotion in someone who makes little to no effort.
But see that’s the thing, she was still talking to me and telling me she was in the hospital and called to let me know what happened. It’s problems with her heart so and she got mad that I assumed it was anything else and said no I can’t date anyone at this point, cause she can’t give her 100% to it