Is it wrong to mess around with a few guys?

[xlibertine]

There's this guy who I've been hooking up with (not going too far just well you know). I like him but just ended a long relationship not too long ago so I don't want to go out with him. The guy I ended the relationship with still thinks I like him too. But then, I've also been doing the same thing (as guy #1) with my ex boyfriend of 2 years who I just started talking to not too long ago. (This is a different ex) AND one of my really good guy friends wants to do stuff too. I don't know what to do. Is it wrong to do all this?

[natejohnson]

If you're having a tough time either being satisfied with one guy or staying committed to one guy, you may want to back away from the whole situation and regroup. Because the truth is, none of these guys is really what you're wanting, or else you would be dating one of them.

I think that if you're looking at this situation, it seems that you are risking an awful lot on just having a good time. Take some time away from this situation and figure out what you want. Don't string the guys along, and do your best not to wreck yourself emotionally in the process. I know there are lots of emotional ties between people when they get involved, and it can definitely lead to some serious emotional scars.

Wait for the right guy who will truly satisfy you (emotionally), and stick with him. I think if/when you do this, you'll find that you were just wasting your time, emotions, and affections on these guys, and the faster you get out of this situation, the less you'll regret it.

[The-Nash]

It's all fun and games, until someone gets hurt, or put in a tough position. I know you've heard that phrase before.

Now, is it wrong, well, that's an opinion, but it's also you who have to live with the consequences. Like, when guys do this, they get labeled as pigs, players, and so on.

so to say that it's okay that guys do it, there's also consequences, and labeling is an insignificant problem to deal with. If there was a chance of you getting pregnant, would you be able to tell who the father is? , and are you looking at the big picture? If you had to ask the question, then I don't you've been in a position like this before. What about if say, these guys just move from girl to girl, what about diseases, and such. No ones perfect, these things happen, especially when you don't concern yourself with them. Now it may have not gotten this far, but would you be able to stop yourself, and look at it this way if it did?

[xlibertine]

ITs not going that far trust me but if I did I hope I would realize it

[The-Nash]

I always try to think that the sum is greater than the parts - Meaning - sometimes people go with the flow of things without thinking of where it leads, I've been there. But at some point these guys are going to want something more/relationship/whatever- than just "hooking up." And you're either going to have to do some explaining, or plan on having some people move on. Which is what I feel you don't want to happen. But these guys are faced with temptation, and well, it's tempting.

[The-Nash]

One of these guys might make a move you don't want them to make, you know.

[xlibertine]

Ugh yeah, guys are so confusing. You can never tell what they want

[The-Nash]

My best advice from being in this position before, is to be brutally honest, so that the guys in this situation know not to try and manipulate/"pull the wool over you're eyes" so that if for example: alcohol is thrown into the mix, you don't want them thinking they can just move right in because you/they had a few drinks.

And by being upfront w- the guys, they don't build up an expectation in their mind that isn't going to be met. And it brings about less confusion.

[The-Nash]

And I think that has brought me to a matter of it being responsible vs. irresponsible, not right vs. wrong, in which it's all opinion, but what will weigh less on your conscience, and it's the difference between these guys knowing(verbally) what they mean to you(which I would just say something like:"Hey, I want to get down to what do we mean to each other-" something like that/whatever), and them thinking what they mean to you/building up their own expectation which might be what you don't want

[LilMiss]

I honestly think it's a phase that a lot of girls go through when they're unsure of what they want. Just be clear to them about what you want and don't want. If you're like how I was, then you're continuing this because you're afraid of hurting them and you feel like you're in too deep. Stay true to yourself and do what's best for you, and if they end up getting hurt, they'll get over it. Maybe your really good guy friend got wind of what you've been up to and wants to get in the action. Don't let them use you. If you feel used or cheapened, then it's best if you stop altogether and focus on what you really want out of life. Hope this advice helps you! You seem like great girl, just a little confused, and that's all a part of life. Take these experiences and learn from and make the best of them.

[EBs123]

If you are comfortable with it, then it is not wrong at all. If guys can do it, why can't girls? As long as you feel comfortable with yourself to do so. Just make sure you are being safe, and be honest with the guys that you are messing around with.

[ALWAYSclassy]

It's not wrong if you don't feel bad about it. Just try to keep it on the low and make sure none of the guys kiss-and-tell because you could end up with a bad reputation (even if you're not a slut, you know how people talk).

[johnsmith2116]

To say it's wrong or not depends on how you feel about it, and how they might react to it.

If you can do these things, and if they don't object to it ( or if they aren't getting serious about you ), then, if there's no harm done, it's possible that it's okay.

But as the old saying goes, just don't bite off more than you can chew. Meaning, these things can be tricky if you aren't careful.

[xlibertine]

Thanks for the answer =] right now its really chewy. I'm totally stepping back to look at this

[Stargazer]

I'd say I would not like it - BUT if you do it one AFTER the other id say your just fishing for the "right one" - I would not want to be juggled because I may be the ball that gets dropped! Also IF the guys know your doing this - you can get a reputation and some guys are too immature to be "compared" to each other. Just date one at a time.

[xlibertine]

Yeah I think ill do that. Its really difficult though for me. I don't know why.

[acchussainm]

yea girl it is

lemme ask you a question...

do you think there is a diff btw you and a whore?

you will say no... but think for a sec, I would say a whore is even better than u

if you really so fuken confused than go into prostitution

u will have ur pleasure and easy cash...why sleep around hurting people's feelings?

[loverorbestfriend]

No...you have one life to live so live it...don't worry about all this stuff now because when you are married with kids, you'll be handcuffed and with less choice, and then you'll think, I wish I had lived and messed around when I was younger!

[Lockjawx27]

Your a whore. Not if you do this stuff or not, you are already.

Just keep being a slut who cares. Your the reason why its so hard to find a loyal women now days. They all give it up to ex's, guy friends, acquaintances, etc

[Anonymous]

I think it's wrong because it's very disrespectful to yourself. I totally agree with Jarett as far as what you really are doing and in a sense what you are becoming by engaging in all of this. Just step away from the situation until you know what you want.

[Jarett]

Yes its wrong. You're being used for your body. Have some self respect. Do you like being used for physical stuff?

[xlibertine]

Point. Now that I think about it that's probably really all guys want

[Jarett]

Not ALL guys, but a lot of them yes! But the reason they do it, is because girls allow them. They wouldn't use girls for sex, if girls wouldn't allow them to.

[ALWAYSclassy]

It doesn't sound like she's being used to me. If she wants it, what's the problem?

[Jarett]

Doing stuff with 3 different guys is called being a slut. That doesn't sound like a problem to you?

[ALWAYSclassy]

If she enjoys it and is safe, no that doesn't sound like a problem. It's not something I would personally do, but she (and anyone) should live their life how they want to w/o fear of people calling them sluts. If someone thinks she's a slut, is it the end of the world?

[Jarett]

No, it's not the end of the world, but it's girls that give up their body that make guys the way they are. Girls always complain about guys just using them for sex. The reason guys do this, is because they can get away with it. Guys would pursue and treat girls better, if there weren't so many girls handing out sex like they were a soup kitchen.

[Anonymous]

If you're not in a relationship, it's not wrong.

[Anonymous]

It is wrong, they are just going to end up using you in the end. Us men loose respect for a girl like that.