What is going through his mind?

[nolechick31]

OK, I'm 26 and I recently met this guy about a month and a half ago. I was introduced to him because he is going back to college and needed some help proofreading his English papers. It started out that he would drop his papers off to my mom's office and then I'd pick them up, proofread, and return them to her to give back to him. Well, he got my number from my mother and called one afternoon to thank me for my help. He started texting me and calling me every day just to chat. After his second paper, he text me and asked if he could take me out to dinner as a thank for my help. I said sure and we went out that Wednesday (the restaurant he chose is a very popular date place). We had a great time just talking and laughing. We left the restaurant and got back to his car, and I thought he was going to open the door for me but he kissed me. And that turned into a little make out session, which was repeated in the driveway of my house when he dropped me off. He texted and called me the next where I told him that I need to explain something to him. I had been dating a guy for a short time before he left on a business trip for six months (we put things on hold and said we would see how we felt about each other when he came back), but I wanted to tell him instead of not mention it at all. He told me that he had been seeing a girl as well, for about a year. She wants to move in with him but he keeps turning her down, and for right now things were ok but he knew she'd bring it up again and when he puts his foot down about it, he doesn't know if it will last. A few days later I went over to his house to help him with a paper and we ended up making out again and having sex. He still calls and texts me throughout every day, except on the weekends when this girl comes out to visit. He said he can't talk to me then because she gets jealous and goes through his phone and everything, but when she leaves he will call or text me that night. I'm still helping him with his English work, but I was wondering how anyone else viewed what was going on? What is possibly going through his head? What do I do? etc.

[Professor_Zoom]

For the first part of my answer, I'm going to play devil's advocate. This guy might like you. I mean he is texting and calling you all of the time. He just might be a bit of a punk and is afraid to tell his girlfriend how he really feels.

Now to the second part. He's playing you and his girl. Okay, he's afraid that if he tells his girl one more time that he doesn't want her to move in, it will be the last. It sounds to me like he's thinking that if his girl decides to leave him because he doesn't want her to move in, then he'll still have a chick who is local to take her place. Also, while she's not there during the week, you're filling her void. Why doesn't her want her to move in? Is it because he wants to do his dirt on the side, and he can't do that with her around? By him saying that he's scared if he says no one more time, it'll be the last, implies that he still wants her. He just doesn't want her there though. Don't get it twisted, you are the side piece. You can be upgraded to full girlfriend status, but who's to say that after a while he won't do to you what he's doing with his current girlfriend?

[cgiddings]

I'm with everyone here. This guy is playing you AND his girlfriend. You seem to be playing the part of putty in his hands. Stop it.

Tell him it's uncomfortable for you to be in this kind of situation with someone whom you're tutoring but also that he's using you to facilitate his cheating on his current girlfriend.

If you like the guy, feel free to leave an opening for him to offer to leave his girlfriend for you... but be sure he does it, be sure he knows you won't get into anything until he does... and be sure he doesn't start leaving town on the weekends.

[koolgirl345]

WOw! He is such a playa playa!

I'm totally with everyone here! This guy is playing YOU AND his GF! =o)

You can continue playing around with him as a "boy toy", but don't get attach or you will get HURT BIG TIME!

I also agree with the other chick response that you should try and keep it professional as his "tutor" since he sucks at English.

But Hey.. who said learning can't be fun! ;)

Just guard your heart & don't fall for this loser, who already has a girlfriend & is playing the role of being "single".

xo

Good luck chica!

[Cartiphilus]

It sounds like to me he enjoys having two girlfriends. One is his primary and you're just the secondary that's why he won't talk to you when the primary is on the scene. He's two-timing the primary. He would two-time you given the chance. Stop proofreading for him or charge him money for your time but stop going to bed with him.

[ManOfAdventure]

OK brace yourself. He is just having fun with both of you ladies. I'd like to shake his hand. He sounds like a genius. He also sounds like a spineless ass hole. He's stringing his girlfriend along for a year while he sleeps with other woman. She thinks they are ready to move in together? What a jerk! Is he too gutless to tell her he doesn't want a serious relationship just sex? I'd say the best you could hope for is to be bumped up to the weekend girl while he finds another mid week girl. You can be the one jealous and going through his phone and everything. Then again there is always the chance you might get him to change his bad boy player ways.<---That last sentence is sarcastic.

[MrTinker]

If I may be so bold, he's a two timeing piece of male trash, I would sooner take his manhood off than date him again - be strong, your a woman, put him in his place.

[cjwright79]

The large part is not what's going through his head, it's what's not going through yours. Having sex with a guy? Inadvisable!

[obligations]

Frankly he has a gf. You keep it professional.