Relationships

What’s going on in his mind?

I feel so distraught we keep having disconnections

hey, so we’ve always talked about kids. Half the time it’s him who brings up us having kids. I have a 3 year old already. So for the longest time he’d say when she’s 3-4 let’s start trying. Ok. So a month or so ago he started saying “give me 2-3 years” we were on the phone yesterday and he says “well we still have 3-4 years” so I asked him what changed. He says “I’m just in no rush to have a baby maybe even 5 years is cool” it was odd because he genuinely is the one to bring the topic up often. Like he has names picked out for his first son and says “you can name the girls but I’m naming the boys” and will go on and on and make joke scenarios and all.

I know his best friend/cousin recently had a baby and has been going through a lot. He and I also are working through things. But should I be on an alert? Like I’m not in a rush to have a baby I also don’t want to rush and have a baby with someone who is showing they don’t want to have one but it was an obvious shift and I don’t know how to think on it.

He goes “all I’m saying is your life changes a lot with a baby, I want us to spend as much time together as possible, you were driving yesterday and you didn’t go past 80 on the highway” huh? What do you all think? It’s raising a flag in my mind because sometimes he’ll say something he thinks I want to hear, then later he’ll saying something and I’m like so is this how he really feels and I’ll try to talk to him about it and say we should be honest with each other. He’ll say no that he still feels the same but it’s like… you said one thing before and now you’re saying another I don’t want you just telling me what you think I want to hear and then backtracking and saying what you really feel/want. I’m not in a rush to have kids. I won’t bring up more kids and he’ll just start the conversation up casually all the time so it confuses me.

What’s going on in his mind?
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