Guys, Do shy guys move really slow or am I friendzoned?

[Anonymous]

I've had a crush on him for almost a year. He knows and said that he likes me too but had rejected any attempts to hang out. I gave him my phone number back in October and he said he'd call or text me but he never did. Instead he went from talking to me every day and hanging around me to just staring at me a lot and smiling sometimes but quit talking to me other than to say an occasional "hi" or "good morning" when he happened to be walking by. Then he quit talking to me all together and looked away whenever he saw me. He also went out of his way to avoid me (he turned around and went the other way when he seen me walking towards him). I figured he didn't like me anymore. I decided that I'd just start ignoring him too. The day that I decided to ignore him suddenly I seen him walking by me, staring a lot, and a couple of times smiling at me. While I was working he snuck up behind me and started talking. I jumped and he teased me about it and surprised me by finally talking to me again. It was just a casual conversation but at the end he threw in,"You look nice today" and hurried off. I didn't see him again for the rest of the day but later that evening I was surprised by a text from him. He'd never texted me before. We texted for a while until bedtime and he said in the texts that he still likes me and I told him that I still like him too. Since he's a shy guy (I'm shy too but he's the first shy guy I've ever liked) does this seem like he's interested but just moving really slow or do you think maybe he meant that he likes me in a friend way (friendzoned)?

[no_one_special]

Uhhh... I see red flags. I'm kinda shy, but even I would get a boost of confidence to talk to a girl I liked knowing that she already liked me.

Honestly, this almost sounds like you have a buddy that you want to date. Are you guys already good friends?

The red flags for me were the ignoring you when you were "chasing" him. This almost sounds like someone who lives for the chase and not much else. Is he a player or something like that? Does he date a bunch of different girls all the time?

Another red flag: his seemingly sudden change of heart. He may have taken your decision to stop showing interest as a sign that it's okay to re-establish his friendship with you since you weren't showing interest any more. If this is the case, you may have to settle for just being his friend until he realizes what a catch you are. Of course this may never happen, but hounding him about it when he only sees you as a friend isn't gonna help things along unless he already likes you... or did at some point. Even then, I'm old fashioned and believe that guys should be the pursuers, not gals.

A final word of advice: have you ever heard the expression "faint heart never won fair maiden?" If he doesn't pursue you, and make you feel like a million bucks, my advice is to forget about him find a guy who will. Even if it eventually does work out, if you're always asking yourself why he doesn't seem invested in you, he's not ready for a relationship. Unfortunately a girl's need for constant affirmation of her desirability, loveliness, beauty, etc is something that many guys just don't get (I sure didn't)... and many have no desire to get it because they don't realize they're doing anything wrong. Regardless, if your crush doesn't put forth any of this effort, you'll eventually resent him for it. And I know firsthand that you can't "teach" a guy this stuff... they have to figure out something is missing on their own and seek the knowledge to fix it. #truth

[Cardinal7477]

As someone who was once a shy guy, they move slow. Occasionally they will move really fast when they get a feeling of being pressured, which also screws things up because it comes as a shock.

The biggest problem I had was being put in the friend zone by the girls. When I ended up building enough courage to 'make a move', it was too late. And I was relegated to "being like a brother" in their eyes forever.

Obviously friend zone can happen the other way around of course. Perhaps just drop subtle hints. Subtle romantic or sexual gestures perhaps. things that won't startle him or give him a sudden burst of over confidence, but things that maybe only he would pick up on, because you're already close.

Be interested to hear how it goes.

[mukheef]

Yes, he is very interested. You're not friend zoned. He's shy, and probably terrified. Yes I know, it's irrational fear. But he is pretty nervous.

If you like him, I can give you the answer right now:

Be accepting, and don't shun him off. He is building his confidence around you. IE, he's getting comfortable slowly being around you. It's slower than usual but it's happening. He'll try to get closer eventually, you have to show him that it's okay. Unfortunately there is no room for playing hard to get with this man. In any case, he'll slowly approach you more often and feel comfortable around you, talk to you more and what not.

[ranma187]

Yes we love to move slow. sunds like he's pushing his comfort zone. If he makes a step toward you, take a step toward him. and don't be a fraid to take a first step either. Make a move. If he compliments you. compliment him back. I said the same thing to a girl /i liked, She stopped talking to me, later she advanced a bit but she left me too confused so I didn;t do anything. He takes a step, you take a step. got it?

[gray_sailor]

Yep, you've got a shy guy.

Probably should read up on them:

https://www.succeedsocially.com/shyguys

[Moviegeek]

He is moving kind if slow. I would tell you to be more aggressive, but not too much. He'll come around.

Be more assertive though. If there's anything there you will just "click"

[Jersey1]

You may actually have to make a move to get it going. Shy guys can be very slow or not move at all.

[Anonymous]

Shy guys with no balls ove slow so dont worry you're probably to gorgeous for him

[Anonymous]

Wow i dont know i been in shoes before and was to slow and missed out. But it would be cool if girl took step asked me to hangout or hinted more :)

[MrCryptic]

You could just ask him what he meant.

[LoverMike]

Shy guys do really move slow

[trieze]

Why don't you try a more aggressive approach?