Guys, how great is the need to protect your SO?

[TheLittleBuggy]

This is kind of an offspring question for another question I saw, which was "How does feeling protected feel to girls?"

and to me, feeling safe and protected with a SO is pretty important, like I won't be with him at all if he can't make me feel safe.

So my question is, how does it feel to guys to when they know their SO feels protected by them? And do you feel like you need too or not? Do you like feeling like a protector, if so, why?

[Orion1084]

It doesn't really work along the same lines as you're implying, at least from a guy's perspective.

Generally speaking, you don't go around thinking "I can protect my girl from anything, anywhere, anytime, and that makes me feel like a big, tough man."

The desire to protect someone is one of those things that you can talk about, or say you're capable of doing, but until a situation comes up in which you actually have to, you have no idea if you can, or can't. You don't know how you'll react until it actually happens.

As an example, several years ago, there was a guy who legitimately tried to rape my girlfriend. I, luckily, was on my way to meet her at the time, so I showed up before he got as far as he was hoping. Finding her in that situation triggered my protective instincts immediately, and I did move in to prevent it.

I won't get too specific on the details, but I pulled the f*cker off of her, and he fought back. Ultimately, though, she did not get raped, he got the shit kicked out of him, and I called the cops to come pick him up. Protecting her was not something that I thought about, as such; it was just an automatic reaction. She was in danger, and I wanted to prevent it. So, I did.

Was she grateful that I was able, and willing, to protect her? Absolutely. Did I feel better knowing that I could? Sure, I did, later. In the aftermath of what happened to her, though, pride was not something that immediately came to my mind. My immediate concern was for her, and her well-being.

I know, as a result of that experience, that I will defend the woman that I love. I don't necessarily feel "proud" of that, though. I like that I have the capability, but I hope that she never finds herself in a position to need my protection. I would never want her to be in any sort of danger, regardless of my ability to protect her.

If she needs my protection, though, I know how I will react. I've been through it before, unfortunately.

[TheLittleBuggy]

I had never really though about it that way, Like I think I kinda knew you never know what you will REALLY do until you do it (as I'm guilty of that myself) But the rest has kind of shined a new light on how the protection comes to be/a mans thinking process on it

[Orion1084]

I'm glad to have helped give you a clearer understanding on a guy's thought process in that regard, and thank you for MH. I appreciate it.

[TheLittleBuggy]

Well you took the time to explain all that, and write it down for me, you deserved it

[Frost_Byt3]

If i cannot protect thy fair mayden, may i be banished and face an eternity of shame and humiliation.

Yes, its hella important. And it feels great and fulfilling to do the job right.

[Frost_Byt3]

Oops, missed the "do you need to feel protected?"

No. I need to feel affection and nurturing, but i don't need protection. Sometimes i like to be held by a woman (instead of the other way around), but i don't feel like it subtracts from my masculinity.

[TheLittleBuggy]

That makes sense, I once read this thing that said the perfect pillow for a man is a womans lap, which is sort of like holding in a way, Personally I think a part of masculinity is being secure enough in your masculinity to do all the cozy stuff like that with your SO

[Frost_Byt3]

Yes, i agree. I'll admit yes i do like laying in a girls lap haha. But I'm a very eh... mushy guy. Oh well ;P

[TheLittleBuggy]

Mushy isn't always bad ^_^

[Frost_Byt3]

Good to hear! :D

[Dakota_The_Rota]

So my question is, how does it feel to guys to when they know their SO feels protected by them? Good.
And do you feel like you need too or not? Yes.
Do you like feeling like a protector, if so, why? Yes, because it's a natural instinct for men to want to protect and to provide for, for a man to not want to do that is to go against his natural instinct.

[ajboarder]

Not all that important.

To be honeat, I want a lady who isn't afraid to throw a punch or two. When the zombie apocalypse comes knocking, I want to be with someone who will watch my back, not wuss out and get the both of us eaten.

[emerald77]

I usually feel very protective over my boyfriends.

[TheLittleBuggy]

I get pretty protective too, but I also like to feel protected if that makes sense

[emerald77]

Yes! That's how I feel.