Guys, do you have an instinct to be a protector?

[TomGarand]

Like the song says, "Old habits die hard." Even with feminism and gender equality being ingrained in our culture, a lot of men still have an instinct to be a provider and protector for women in their lives. Whether that's biological, or a cultural thing, blah blah blah, that's not the point. The point is, some men want to protect. It's why short girls get so much attention on the dating scene. It's why some men don't want women serving in combat roles. It's why men so on and so forth. Men want to be their woman's knight in shining armor. But that's not always the case.

So this question is essentially asking how many boys and men here have that instinct to be a protector, and how many do not.

Yes

No

Updates

+1 y

Also, if a man DOESN'T have a protective instinct, what do you think that says about him?

[HighlyVolatile]

I've always had it since I was a little boy, and have been hospitalized a couple of times for rescuing people from dangerous situations. It doesn't necessarily manifest in the most masculine of ways though. I don't think like a soldier, and maybe more like a field medic.

The two things I have in the extremities are a love of risk-taking (I seem inverted in that I'm addicted to danger rather than thwarted by it) and empathy. The latter I seem to have in very unusual levels for a guy and maybe even unusually high levels for a girl.

That combination tends to prompt me to move to protect people in danger (men and women alike). I don't even think about it. It is an instinct. And sometimes I do it in the dumbest of ways like a smarter solution might have been to call the police, but I tend to just dive in instinctively into danger when someone is in danger.

[CaptainOverthink]

I do have that feeling, yes.
But I don't apply it all the time.
Sometimes it's not my business to intrude and sometimes the risk of making it worse or it backfiring seem too high.

But I do defend my friends. Physically if need be.
I counter trashtalking as much as I can (goes for everyone), in most situations but not always.
Ever since my sister got her kids I've had much more protective feelings for kids generally.
I've seen myself act protectively around girls I like but as much as I am aware I try to tune it down because I figure they probably want to feel belittled as much as I do, so not at all. But I just can't help it at times. I just act, but I am working in balancing it out (action vs thinking). Hard though.

I've always been protective of pets. Sometimes more diplomatic though, you know, cats.

[Lionman95]

I´d say yes even though I´m not that strong, every time I go out with my females I know I drink the least possible amount of alcohol because I feel like it´s my responsibility to be there if something happens to them.
It´s completely different when I´m going out with guys.

[TomGarand]

Where do you think my lack of it comes from?

[Lionman95]

Maybe you have a different focus on life because I developed or set mine free over the last couple of years. My problem was that I had and in some situations still have a bad/low self confidence in terms that I didn´t think of myself as a man but as some kind of failure.

[Lionman95]

I had to learn to see being a man as something positive before I developed some kind of a protector instinct.

[TomGarand]

I think my attraction toward strength might explain it.

[hahahmm]

Sure. But that absolutely does not mean that there aren't any conditions. In the modern age, I will only protect a woman if she identifies as a traditional woman. If she believes that men and women are equal OR if she intentionally creates drama that then attracts bad people then it's her problem to solve. Not mine.

Naturally, I wouldn't be married to or even in a serious relationship with a woman who is the type I don't find worthy of protecting.

[hahahmm]

And by 'equal' I really mean identical. The feminist claim that men and women are just two apples with different colors is false according to biology and my life experience.

[hahahmm]

"Also, if a man DOESN'T have a protective instinct, what do you think that says about him?" Well, in the context of what I wrote above: I'd say it's a disgrace for a man to have zero protective instinct. That said, there's lots of instances where women behave in ways that make them unworthy of protection but then they or others in society try to shame men into unjustly protecting her. Society has changed a lot back from the days when a woman wouldn't dare to assault a man without a good & just reason. So if I'm walking down the street and turn a corner and see a dude punching a woman I won't assume that she didn't start it and is entitled to protection with zero evidence/info about the preceding events for example.

[ShadezMcgee]

I have always felt the need to be the leader and protector in my relationships and just from being the eldest sibling.

I want her to be able to defend herself if god forbid something happens to me or I can't be there in that moment to help her. But I would rather bear the responsibility to do the difficult shit instead of her.

[Anonymous]

i think almost all guys naturally have that instinct but it is disappearing because women say they don't want it and don't appreciate it and most guys are pretty cynical about it now. why risk your safety and life when women don't appreciate it anyway? i suspect women in Ukraine today are not such unappreciative bitches, at least not in the last couple of weeks.

[Heartache0405]

Used to. I used to fantasize jumping in front of a woman and taking a bullet for her. Now I fantasize about telling them to gtfo and leave me alone. No matter how hard they try to show me they care.

[maverick2022]

Just depends on the circumstances. I don't have much instinct to step in and protect a woman from her abusive boyfriend that she picked out. I would step in if I saw someone try to snatch up a little girl.

[_piotr]

No. I believe in equality. I do not see a reason why random women's life should be more important than man's life. For centuries men ware treated like cannon fodder, enough of that already!

[msc545]

I have the instinct to be a protector of myself, children, and animals. Women - no way. All those strong independent women who don't need men can protect themselves.

Not my circus, not my monkeys.

[Adam1978]

Yes but I wise enough to ignore that instinct when it would just cause me problems and risks.

[MCheetah]

Yes, but only to people who deserve it. Which frankly, is becoming less and less nowadays.

[Anonymous]

Yes, for me it's a natural instinct that no one needed to teach me as a young man. However, the attitudes of modern women have certainty suppressed that instinct in me.

[TomGarand]

I was built different apparently, because I don't have it.

[exitseven]

I always protect my wife and my daughter. Nobody better mess with them.

[TallAnon]

Yeap, I'm the one that checks if people are still there every half a minute while walking. Small people are hard to keep track of.

[OddBeMe]

Funny that my wife likes to bitch publicly and then jumps behind me when things get rough. But she gives me good sex later.

[Hellraiser1984]

At times yes but women look down on you for it. It's sexist and not PC.

[Anonymous]

I don't have such an instinct.
But I can simulate that since women are looking for protection and safety.

[Anonymous]

Sort of, I have a destructive instinct that is geared towards protection. However, given the right motivation, those instincts could be used against those who I would otherwise want to protect.

[Pooppoobi]

Yes but only girls that matter. Protect stranger girls you are a simp. They can deal with their own life.

[Citizenkirk]

I want to be fair, but Mr. Reliable.

[sirderpsalot123]

Of course. It's how we are programmed to be.

[TomGarand]

Then why the hell don't I have it?

[Browneye57]

Yes, it's built in. Duh.

[Billiumboomerboi]

to every man that says no.

Ha gay

[TomGarand]

How is that gay?

[Billiumboomerboi]

sorry gay guys can be cool I guess. I meant undeniably cringe.

[DyingLately]

Gotta protect what you love

[noohair]

It was the way I was raised.

[TsAubreyKate]

Hell no it’s every man for himself

[serious]

Yes I do.

[Anonymous]

I'll always protect my source of sex

[Medhat-M]

Yes... Basics

[Iron_Man]

Yes of course

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Yes, if it's family.