How to C R U S H a guy's self-esteem?

[Anonymous]

First of all, this guy's got bad boy written over him. He is a band player, meaning he's got a huge ego and he may be a player.

So first of all, I will be awesome and supportive making him feel secure and great. I know this will gain his trust (he told me he values that most in a relationship). Then, I will start to get distant, not replying to his text, saying "no thanks" when he wants to hug me and laugh at all his flaws or problems he tells me. I will say he is weak and a loser. I will then flirt with his brother right in front of him, saying how he should be more like his brother and that is brother is hot. Then I will start being flaky, cancelling plans at the last minute, not turning up at his gigs even when I said I'm coming (he always wants me to go) and block his FB and phone shortly.

Would this work? Do you have better ideas? Planning to throw him a bone once in a while to het his hamster brain to scutter around it.

[Scrambled]

Nope... won't work. As a guitarist and my new found confidence (im a player wannabe) any girl that is flaky with me, I drop them. I move on. Its very simple. Where you got it wrong is the "I will be awesome and supportive making him feel secure and great" No. Confident men don't need women to give them this. I know there is a line of you waiting to give me this. Players are out for fun and what you doing is not fun, so I simply drop you and when you come back to me its like "meh", I will come over maybe when Im done with Sarah (may stop past Michelle on the way... night is young). Simply put, a girl is not the focal point of a player/badboy. The only way to get this specific guy (get me), is to remind me that you can get more guys than he can girls, you can get better sex fantasies (women can get threesomes for example much easier), and if you played guitar better than him! And let him know about it. Or screw his best friend, and tell the friend how shit he is. That will do it.

[Asker]

Yeah, that sounds great. Playing around with his brother and his best friends. I play the keyboard so how can I compare to him? What you have forgotten is that I am also a player. He is not my focal point. I am seeing x many guys at the moment and looking for more. Not interested in threesomes unless I'm the only girl in it. The more the merrier.

[Scrambled]

Female players, I think its cool, but its too easy, I wouldn't call it playing. The way I see it, it is like a horse and a donkey. Donkeys (guys) want to enter the levels of horse racing (horse racing being successful game) with the horses (women). Successful donkeys can compete with the horses, but all the horses will slam the donkeys. Fucked up analogy I know... but the point is, women are in the game and it boils down to your game. Men have to be players to compete.. That said... I think you awesome (love go-getters). Yeah, just beat him at his own game, simple. And you can, just let him know about it, don't keep it a secret. Just say you are more badass and more player than him (no guy likes being beat at his own game). Piano. Let me tell you something as a muso myself, pianists in bands are far more required than guitarists (guitarists are a dime a dozen). I would recruit you for my band, and I have seen tons of ads for pianists in well established bands.

[Asker]

Thanks for agreeing with me. And yes, but I was classically trained. Best thing about pianists is that they can play in a wide range of scales and they can read both treble and bass clefs. And I should beat him in his own game. I'm an alpha female, successful and confident. I am also studying aerospace engineering, so that defies that girls are squirrel headed, emotional and submissive creatures. And that analogy is just fine. I know, piano can be expensive. It's just like how there aren't many harpists because thr damn thing is more expensive to buy than a guitar. And not everyone can get the hang of piano. There are dynamics, timing, three types of pedals and 88 keys.

[Scrambled]

You sound like a helluva catch. Just the mere fact that you classically trained already puts you on a higher pedestal than most the guitarists out there. Cheap shot: ask him if he knows how to read anything beyond tabs? I think if you are just happy, out-game him and be that alpha female, he will get jealous that he can't get you. Actually... I think, leave the family and get the lead guitarist/lead singer of a more successful band and go to their gigs, that will be crushing. Then play that lead singer too (you young, have fun, you have my best wishes ha ha)

[Asker]

Haha thanks, and that tab thing, DUDE you are a genius! And I should do just that and beat him in his own game. Does flirting in front of him with other guyswhen I'm at his gig a good move? Or when he gets off the stage?

[Scrambled]

Well, if you going to flirt with guys at the gig, again I would go for the band members of another band (because musos are the top alphas at a gig), so he will feel that you going for somebody at his level, but not him. If its just his band, play one of his band mates (act like you crazy about him, don't give guitar boy attention), but don't go for to many guys because it will look like you desperate, locate two alphas (one in band, and one in crowd), play them both and just have fun. The more fun you have without guitar boy around, the more he will question himself if he sees you having fun with someone else. Do it when he is off stage. On stage, I see the crowd as one. Maybe chat to a guy at the bar while they are playing. Wait for the break. He may look up and find you, but you at the bar with another dude. It shows you are a) chatting up a guy (or being chatted up) and b) you not amped for his music or you would be in the crowd (that's a massive fail for him ha ha)

[PainfullyHonest135]

Make him feel emasculated. Use words like Cute and Adorable, which make men feel like kids. Treat him like one too. Comparing him to someone else is good too.

Word of warning, you conniving little bitch, Karma exists, and you will get your coming to you. If he ain't half the moron you think he is, you best be prepared for a reckoning, or getting this done to you.

[MissBoopa]

Haha! I love how you gave actual good advice for her question and then said your opinion. Made sense, was helpful, and made me laugh! Stay awesome, my friend. :)

[PainfullyHonest135]

Thanks ;) always do!

[Asker]

Thanks for giving me advice. It sounds good, lol. If he's a player himself, aren't I the form of karma/why isn't he receiving karma?

[PainfullyHonest135]

He will. One day he will find himself alone. Why should you reduce yourself to his level?

Also, this could backfire. If he is a man that is truly sure of himself, you will never be able to break his ego or his self esteem, hence why im warning you. You better know your opponent before you strike.

[Asker]

Yeah you're right. I should not lower myself to his level. I should focus on my career anyway. Thanks for opening my eyes. I should be the larger person and ghost out or break up with him.

[PainfullyHonest135]

oh wait what? Your listening? damn. Im pleasantly surprised. Well damn my MHO got through to you. Good on you for being the mature one in the situation and being better than he is.

Remember, Revenge is pointless, especially over such petty things. What will it matter in 10 years? You can't blame him for being who he is, you can only blame yourself for not having seen it before and having messed with someone like that in the first place. Also, try considering the things he went through that led up to him being like this. If you dont like being with him, just break up with him and move on.

Remember: People reap what they sow, if he is an ass he will one day find himself surrounded by people like him. Pity his ass.

[Asker]

Thanks for giving me an honest answer. I really appreciated it.

[PainfullyHonest135]

And if you need re-assurance that bad karma is coming his way, just look at yourself! The next girl he is with could just as easily think to do to him what your doing and stupidly go through with it, which is an ass thing to do (going back to what i said about reaping what you sow), hence why im telling you, dont be the one to reduce yourself to his level to give him what someone else will inevitably attempt.

Assholes always get their just deserts in time.

[RationalLioness]

You need to hit the breaks.

Assuming he's a bad boy because he's in a band is inane. That's just like assuming a girl in a sorority is a whore or gold-digger. It makes zero sense and is based off of societal stereotypes which are inaccurate.

I do have a better idea---stop with the dumbassumptions. I'm also not excusing guys like this but women who purposely crush guys are one of the reasons why many hate women today. Those guys are illogical and that doesn't make them "right", but too many bad experiences of the same type can lead to irrationality.

[Floyd790]

I got crushed too if a girl isn't interested just say it straight up. This girl cancelled our date 30 min. Prior and did it again a second time so I'm a dumbass for attempting a second time. Feelsbadman.

[Asker]

But I think he does drugs. His brother has also been to jail for assault, had a $1100 speeding ticket and hangs out with friends that do drugs and casual sex. How can he be a good guy when there are so many bad influences around him?

But one thing. I told him everybody cheats and he disagreed. He said there has to be trust and it is not hard to commit to somebody you really like.

[RationalLioness]

Sounds like that guy likes to hang with a bad crowd yet is a good guy. His brother has nothing to do with him though personally though. I've known quite a few guys like him and it's so sad to see them make wrong decisions.

[Xoxoxooo123]

I understand the need to call the guy that you are with and are considering leaving a loser and I get it but it's not cool. If you don't want to be with okay cool leave you don't have to stay. Don't crush someone's self esteem just to raise yours it's not right. Leave him, realize that next time you need to do things differently because cmon its dating it isn't easy sometimes the guy is just plain crazy and once you get to know him you discover less than desirable traits. Next time look for a better guy, upgrade don't Downgrade 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

[Destinee7]

What's the purpose of doing all that? Do u want him to chase u? Most likely he will get bored or annoyed with ur games & start pursuing another girl. I attempted to hurt a player who screwed me over before but I gave up very early & just focused on moving on. That was a much better decision. Dont even waste your time hun. Find a guy where things are more organic & less hectic.

[Asker]

I'm sorry it happened to you. Yeah I know player guys can be horrible. I don't have any emotional investment in him hence why it is okay for me to do these things to him and be insensitive. I just want to win the game. My friends told me that. He's a bad boy. He had a $1100 speeding ticket and his brother is in jail for assault. He may also do drugs, my friends has got more experience than me and wants the best for me. But on the other hand, he told me that trust is the most important part of a relationship. He also told me first, he doesn't sleep around out of nowhere and he won't find it hard to commit to someone you truly like. But he never flirts with other women in front of me, looks at other women or goes on his phone?

[Octavius]

So you're going to hurt a guy because "he MAY be a player?"

If he does have an ego then when you stop replying to his texts he's just going to forget all about you.

Also you're a terrible person who if he wasn't a player will turn him into one because he may become bitter about all women because of you.

[Asker]

But how can I be sure he isn't? I can't give up a whole bunch of guys because of him.

[Octavius]

Why do YOU need to know he isnt? How would you feel if some guy destroyed your self esteem because they thought you MAY be a gold digger?

[Asker]

My friends told me that. He's a bad boy. He had a $1100 speeding ticket and his brother is in jail for assault. He may also do drugs, my friends has got more experience than me and wants the best for me. But on the other hand, he told me that trust is the most important part of a relationship. He also told me first, he doesn't sleep around out of nowhere and he won't find it hard to commit to someone you truly like. But he never flirts with other women in front of me, looks at other women or goes on his phone?

[Octavius]

An $1100 speeding ticket? That sounds like a really bad rumor by gossiping friends because I've never heard of a speeding ticket costing that much. Also just because he may be affiliated with people in jail or he's done drugs does not mean he deserves to be heartbroken. From what you just described he treats women with respect and isn't a cheater so why are you trying to hurt him? You seriously sound crazy.

[Asker]

He told me he got the speeding ticket himself, and if he is bragging or lying anout this, it's a bad sign isn't it? And he isn't lying about a good thing either, mate.

[Octavius]

That still isn't a reason to crush him...

[Asker]

But I know that excellent players try to act like that to dig women. He morphs into what he assumes the woman wants. He's almost like a chameleon.

[Octavius]

Yes but if he's willing to be committed to whatever girl he does get with then why is that so bad? A lot of guys act like that but after having sex they just dump the girl. That's a player. If he's not doing things like that then he doesn't deserve to be heart broken.

[plague_rat]

So, because this dude is in a band, you think he has an ego and must be a player? How about you fucking get to know someone, before making assumptions, aye? I've got guy friends in metal bands and they definitely do not have an ego or are players. They're actually a lot more nicer than most guys I've met. This little plan you've devised sounds horrible and you sound low.

[Asker]

My friends told me that. He's a bad boy. He had a $1100 speeding ticket and his brother is in jail for assault. He may also do drugs, my friends has got more experience than me and wants the best for me. But on the other hand, he told me that trust is the most important part of a relationship. He also told me first, he doesn't sleep around out of nowhere and he won't find it hard to commit to someone you truly like. But he never flirts with other women in front of me, looks at other women or goes on his phone?

[TrickThate]

There's one thing you probably haven't accounted for: if this guy's self esteem isn't already in the toilet, then there's no way he would let you treat him like that. If he has such a "huge ego," then he'll dump YOU the minute you start acting aloof or like a bitch.

Your genius "plan" is stupid because it would never work.

[Asker]

Then I should gain his trust and everything first. If he is not emotionally invested, I'd move onto another guy that is not worth my time. And that's why I am asking for advice here. Why can't people see I'm asking for advice and not approval?

[TrickThate]

If advice is what you want, consider this: a guy who would be willing to hurt you the way you're trying to hurt him is NOT worth your time. EVER. You could spend all your time trying to hurt this dude, but in the end, all that's left is pain. As detailed as your plan is, you don't give a rational explanation for wanting to hurt him so badly.

Why do you want that?

[Starfishlover]

I think you might be a troll.

Secondly, a lot of guys have gotten over collossal bitches like you. You aren't all that. Guys don't generally start getting depressed over some cheap pussy that they have lost. He will probably be like "oh, damn... what did I do? Ah well" *Resumes playing*

Thirdly, I hope something horrible happens to you if you do think of doing something like this. Look at yourself, you sound like a cunt.

[TrickThate]

"You aren't all that." That's the best thing I've read on this feed.

[Starfishlover]

She isn't though! I was just stating facts! She probably think "ooh I have tits and a vagina... I am so special" The only thing she is is "special". She probably thinks she is the most GORGEOUS and valuable woman in the world. She probably isn't. She is probably a scared little girl afraid to get hurt and refuses to be an actual woman and knowing how to live life ethically.

[Asker]

I don't care what people say about me. To go as low as insulting me would not change my actions. I am not seeking your approval, I am asking for advice. I hope you realize you can lead a horse to a lake, but you can't force the horse to drink. I take pride in my own work and I am confident in my own ability. I am studying aerospace engineering, a career originally dominated by men. My IQ is obviously high and it can compensate for my lack of EQ.

[Starfishlover]

Asker, you have nothing to take pride in. If you do have a high IQ, you obviously don't know how to use it. It saddens me that you are squandering your intelligence. You obviously do have an EQ because you know fully well what will happen to a guy if you do this and are premeditating this.

I don't know what you want with guys. Do you want a relationship? Do you want a fuck buddy? If so, it would be good for you to tell them what they want so that they can know what you are looking for, and if they don't like it, they would have the chance to exit before you get hurt because it is obvious that you are guarding your emotions. You are the type of person that wants to attack before people want to attack.
I am telling you that it is a double edged sword.

[Asker]

I am also attractive. A lot of guys called me sexy and beautiful. The world agrees. Also I have a modeling scholarship.

[Asker]

Apparently I also have brains, not just a vag and tits, him 😉

[Asker]

*not him, hun, LOL

[Starfishlover]

Well if you have all this, then why don't you work on having a good heart? There is a line between being tough and being heartless. You are in the latter. Having a heart makes a girl more beautiful than she is.

[KAZ-2Y5]

I stopped read at "he MAY be a player" so you are stereotyping this guy because he is in a band? I have feelings he knows people that can make karma doing it thing to you a absolute to watch.

[Asker]

My friends told me that. He's a bad boy. He had a $1100 speeding ticket and his brother is in jail for assault. He may also do drugs, my friends has got more experience than me and wants the best for me. But on the other hand, he told me that trust is the most important part of a relationship. He also told me first, he doesn't sleep around out of nowhere and he won't find it hard to commit to someone you truly like. But he never flirts with other women in front of me, looks at other women or goes on his phone?

[KAZ-2Y5]

First of all everybody gets a very big speeding ticket.
Second don't judge him based off of how his brother acts
Second not everybody who does drug is a bad person some of the most judgmental people I know go to church every Sunday.
He sounds a pretty good guy
Last I have a question for you: imagine you tasted the most delicious ice cream you have ever tasted in your life and then you convince your friends, family, even total strangers to try it and every one of them said it tasted disgusting would you continue eating it? After all it was the most delicious ice cream you've tasted.

[Asker]

Thanks for opening my eyes. Yeah, not all drug users are bad. They actually need help
I just saw on his wall that he is depressed, and I realized this may not be a good idea after all. If I don't trust him or don't feel him, I should not lower my own standards, be the larger person and break up or Just be friends.

[KAZ-2Y5]

You're very welcome I hope you guys can stay friends

[JosySo]

you're smart for posting this ANONYMOUSLY!!

Because FIRST OF ALL... You sound like you have bad girl written all over you

[Asker]

It's actually a race against time and see who wins. Haha!

[JosySo]

Well at the end you'll lose, that's what I know. If you're going to be hurting people, you'll lose at the end

[Asker]

Or ACTUALLY it's a tie! Because he's a player as well!

[JosySo]

Argh never mind...
Just wanted to let you know that you're no better for what you're planning on doing right now, if you're serious about it

[GrooveSick]

I have a better idea and that is that it doesn't mean that he has an ego just because he plays in a band or is a player
That's nonsense.
And what do you have against that guy anyway?

[Asker]

My friends told me that. He's a bad boy. He had a $1100 speeding ticket and his brother is in jail for assault. He may also do drugs, my friends has got more experience than me and wants the best for me. But on the other hand, he told me that trust is the most important part of a relationship. He also told me first, he doesn't sleep around out of nowhere and he won't find it hard to commit to someone you truly like. But he never flirts with other women in front of me, looks at other women or goes on his phone?

[GrooveSick]

He never flirts with other woman in front of you, looks at other women or goes on his phone... those are good things
'may do drugs', might be wrong
His brother is in jail... That is his brother, they're not the same. It's not his fault that his brother is in jail

[GrooveSick]

If your friends really want the best for you... They should have told you that you should just avoid and ignore that guy, if they think he's bad

[Nuqood]

If he's as big of a player as you say he is, then he will not give a fuck about you being distant and rejecting. This is what's he's going to do when you try and 'laugh' at his insecurities:

33.media.tumblr.com/.../...inObET1tksojyo1_500.gif

Then he won't bother with your ass and go for another girl, and you will be here asking questions revolving around how this jerk hurt you (that is, assuming you aren't trolling right now).

They need to cease anon posting already.

[Asker]

I'm not trolling. If he finds another girl, then nobody wins. I go find another guy that is more worthy of my time or continue being a career woman. I don't get hurt easily, I am always called the insensitive one in the relationship. I've got a whole bunch of other guys after me anyway, I can play as much as I want.

[Nuqood]

No, he wins, because he doesn't have to put up with your nonsense. You just don't win, because you couldn't crush this guy, and it will stick in your mind for a lot longer than in his mind that you existed.

You're so obviously insecure that it's painful to read your fake confidence. You try to boast about being a menace but really you're just a scared little girl who goes around trying to be tougher than what she is. Nobody is impressed that you're a cunt.

[Asker]

You think by insulting me that I will change or feel bad about my actions. It doesn't. I am proud of who I am and I take pride in my own work and career. I am an aerospace engineer and I am confident in my own abilities. Doesn't have to be EQ I excel in when I have my IQ. So you are saying by breaking up first that I win the game? I am not insecure at all. This is all a very fun game as I am not emotionally invested in him.

[Nuqood]

Obvious troll is obvious.

I'm not doing anything but telling you what you are, pumpkin. If you're serious about everything you've said and aren't the typical GaGuy who makes an anon female troll account, then everything I've said stands. Again, nobody is impressed that you're a cunt. Be a cunt all you want; I'm not naive and think you'll stop because I said you're a cunt, but I do find it interesting that you need to brag to the internet about how much of a bad bitch you are yet you claim to be secure with yourself.

You're either a troll or an incredibly insecure woman with a lot of anger issues. Either way, 2 points for me, and more encouragement for women to fix their bad behaviour less they end up like your miserable self.

[Asker]

Dude, have you seen Matt Forney's post about women? What about him? He's a total an asshole.

[Fizpop]

Well aren't you an absolute monster. I think you're the one who needs an ego crushing.

[Floyd790]

This sounds all too familiar a girl did this to me and to this day I don't know if she liked me or if she was just feeding her ego.

[Fizpop]

Its the worst thing anyone could do to someone, because you never really forget it. I've had an experience too.

[Asker]

I don't. He does! Because all band players do!!

[MaskedSanity]

^ Instruction manual on how to be a colossal bitch.

[Starfishlover]

Or a cunty sociopath

[Asker]

Look at Matt Forney dudes.

[MaskedSanity]

Just did. You're still a colossal bitch.

[Neko_Chan]

I'm pretty sure he'll leave you when he discovers that you're a sociopath.

[Asker]

It's better than someone who does drugs himself and hangs out with drug addicts and does casual sex.

[Neko_Chan]

Why does it matter if he does drugs? That's his business, not yours. Your justifications for wanting to hurt someone are incredibly stupid.

[mangaka92]

Being a band player does not automatically mean he's got a huge ego. Quite assuming.

Second, I wouldn't tell a girl how to crush a guy's self-esteem anymore than I'd tell a guy how to beat a girl.

[Anonymous]

You're the reason why men label us evil and heartless

[Asker]

What about the guys that cheat on women, play them and does drugs?

[kathrina]

Men label us evil and heartless because they wan every girls pussy...

[Opinion Owner]

@Asker Sweetie, not every guy in a band does drugs, plays and cheats on women. Maybe many do, but some don't. You really shouldn't judge a book by its cover. Plus, what goes around comes around. Do you really wanna temp fate? She can be a total bitch.
@kathrina You're generalizing. Not all guys are dogs and after us for pussy. Some want a real relationship, maybe even a family and kids.

[InconspicuousBox]

So basically you're asking advice on how to be a bitch to someone because you've decided based on a stereotype that they're a bad person? Yeah, have a nice, lonely life.

[Asker]

But his brother has gone to jail for assault (one of them is not) and he has a speeding ticket of $1100. He has also been to a sex convention and has friends that do drugs and casual sex.

[InconspicuousBox]

So because his BROTHER and FRIENDS have done some things and he has a speeding ticket you've pinned him to the stereotype? And what the hell is a sex convention?

[lonerider]

I really hope that you are thrown out of the house after you are fucked and the video is uploaded on a social networking site where all your family members are active. That'll teach you how to break self esteem.

[Asker]

I won't lower my standards and sleep with a player and a guy who does drugs.

[Anonymous]

Well reasons you having this troubles is because that way you treat ours. You should be more loving and dont go down to there level. Because you cam be better and the end the day when you done something nice for some one even if they didn't deserve it or appreciate it. You will see rewards and yor self esteem will raise but it won't raise if by putting others down

[GoodDogNigel]

Well, here's a well-adjusted individual.

[Asker]

Thank you so much :) LOL

[mithramitzmittu]

Okay don't doubt anything with him brother. It's not a good idea. Rather hang out with his friend he'd be more jealous. on the whole, why do you want to do this? You're better than that right?

[eugwara]

1. Karma's only a bitch if you are
2. Players/fuckboys move on if their game doesn't work

[Asker]

And if the trust thing, etc don't work, if he moves on then there are other guys I can play around with. There are heaps and I cannot commit anyway. Stop thinking I'm the sensitive tyoe that wants commitment within the first few weeks.

[Resoglass]

Lady, you're fucking nuts.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yX6FsTIq6ls

[Asker]

Why thank you.