It's a messed up situation and guys do this to me all the time, but what do you want your boyfriend to do? Kick the guys ass? What makes you think your boyfriend won't be the one to get his ass kicked?
It's best to avoid a fight, but yes it is very upsetting and hurtful when strange men, or men in general invade our privacy and touch us. I get upset and it usually bothers me for a long time.
But it's also not a good thing to start a fight with someone you don't know. I know at times it's hard to control yourself, but it's better to do that and walk away, unless if your boyfriend has lots of friends to back him up in case things go wrong.
I can give you a scenario that went terribly wrong. My brother once got mistaken for someone else at a club. This other guy was apparently grabbing at this chick and hitting on her, and I guess he looked like my brother. She came and pointed out my brother to her boyfriend. This guy started a fight with my brother and guess what? He ended up with a broken jaw and a really messed up face. He had 2 other friends to back him up, but so did my brother and they all ended up with broken bones. My brother and his friends? Not even a scratch!
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That was not acceptable, the guys who's saying it's just a slap on the butt are probably scary themselves. I can't stand a scary man, It’s like I'm stronger then you. The guy must be stronger and the protector, that’s what women like. I'm not saying beat up the guy, but speak up and let him no he was out of line. That happened to me before when I was out with my husband, normally he would have me in front of him. For some reason I was behind him, I had a dress on. And my butt was really nice in that dress, the guys were line up by the wall as you walked through. So we walked through, and I could already hear some of the guys saying man she look good. Well one of them grab my butt so hard , I couldn't help but to turn around and immediately told my husband some body grab my butt. He stop right then and there and curse them all out and stared at them each real hard, it was about twelve guys no one said a word. They just took it, and I had to grab him away from them men he was so hot. Trust and believe he got a great thank you when we got home for taking care of his baby. A lady don't want their man getting into a fight, But protect your lady from the perverts out here.
He was upset but he might not be the jealous type. Thank your lucky stars he is level headed. Nothing cool about a possessive, angry man. You don't want him fighting over you. It has happened to me. It wasn't pretty. My ex boyfriend was tall and muscled. He punched a guy who talked to me on my way back from the bathroom at a bar. The guy lost a tooth. He was someone I knew from high school. smfh. I am sure your man appreciates you. He is still with you. He doesn't mistreat you right? The jealousy and other stupid BS girls expect is more indicative of his personal issues than his love for you.
That's not cool. No woman wants to feel like her boyfriend will carelessly let a guy get away with violating her physical space. Almost as if he's too cowardly and passive to defend your honor. Personally, if it were me and this was a new relationship, I'd leave him. I cannot be with a man who is not protective or will allow another man to disrespect me like that. Given, if someone slapped my ass they'd get slapped hard across the face but still... his nonchalant response is unsettling. What's next? If some guys try to attack you guys in a parking lot, you'll be protecting him? Wtf.
It is funny because I know plenty of women who would think he was an ass for jealous in this scenario... we just can't win can we?
I think I would have acted the same as your boyfriend no doubt about it... Nothing you could do, it is a club with drunk people everywhere... and I am not a jealous person and would think it childish if my partner wanted that kind of attention from me... I trust my partners until they give me reason to not trust them- not based off of other peoples actions...
That all being said, I did get into a fight once because a guy wouldn't leave us alone and kept harassing my girlfriend right in front of me, but I think that is far more extreme than this scenario...
It honestly sounds like you want your partner to be upset and angry, why would anyone wish that upon someone they care about?
Drunken jerk slaps your butt. It's a noisy club so your boyfriend doesn't hear or notice. By the time you tell him, the drunk guy has disappeared into the crowd.
What are you expecting him to do? Go and try to find this guy and do what? Get into a fight and end up in hospital/jail? Act all mortified and sit up all night going over it in his head?
It sucks that it happened but he's being pragmatic: there's not really much he could have done.
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It's a drunk dude that slapped ur ass. Yes anyone would jump when that happen. Though it seems like you wanted ur boyfriend to track down that guy and beat his ass up. It wouldn't change anything the dude still slapped your ass. You can just let what the drunk did ruin the rest of your night and be unhappy. Or you can just forget about it because the guy was just some unimportant idiot.
I think your boyfriend handled it well. If he had chased after the dude and beat him up. You would have to deal with the cops that would be called.You answered your own question... even though this is more of a rant than a question. There was nothing you could do, you had no idea who the guy was, your boyfriend clearly didn't pay attention to you at that moment so there was nothing that he could do either. Was he supposed to be upset about it the entire evening or something? Again there was nothing he could do, why be upset over something he had no control over or couldn't fix?
Jealousy is not a sign of attraction. Jealousy is a sign of insecurity. Only insecure people become jealous. It's toxic. It's what ruins relationships. It's not something you should want in a partner, or find desirable.I'd react like that guy. If I saw the guy doing it i'd be getting in his face, but really i'm just not a guy that gets jealous over stuff. Yeah, the dude crossed the line, but not much I can do about it if the guy is gone and no one could identify him. It has nothing to do with how attractive you are or how much I like you, maybe I just trust you and it wasn't you doing anything now was it.
If i'm getting jealous, it usually is because I don't trust my girlfriend (not because of some other guy) and I end that shit pretty quickly when I get to that point. Who needs that BS in life?This is a non-issue. Some guy slapped your ass and neither of you saw it. Like everyone else has said, there was nothing he could've done about it. It seems to me that the reason you're bothered is because he wasn't upset long enough to your liking, which is just flat out ridiculous. He was upset but got over it. Now you're trying to suggest that because he was deeply upset that he somehow doesn't care about you or wouldn't protect you, which is just as ridiculous. If he had seen the guy do it and did nothing then you might have a case but that's not the situation. He had nothing to go on so could do nothing. That doesn't mean he doesn't care about protecting you. I think you're blowing this way out of proportion.
The guy was drunk what did you expect your boyfriend to beat the shit out of him?
"logically speaking there was nothing left to do since the guy could not be spotted anymore, but wow I expected him to be bothered by that for a longer time"
Why would your boyfriend be jealous? It just shows that he has good taste in women if someone else appreciates your butt too. The fact that he isn't jealous is a very rare trait and you should be proud of him. Do you want him to start fights with every guy that finds you attractive?
Wow the poll Acceptable almost all male Nope almost all female.Your boyfriend should have been pissed and left the club immediately with you, and said "Maybe we shouldn't go there again"
just understand that he didn't know who the guy was, so he couldnt do anything
Shit like this ruins relationships, I don't know why couples go out clubbing, thats for single people...He probably just wasn't paying attention. I mean, If i saw him doing it, I'd beat the shit outta him without hesitation. But he was already gone, so there is nothing i couldve done. Oh well.
If you told me a guy slapped your ass, I'd be a little upset, but I'd get over it. Especially since nothing could be done.
I'd only be jealous if you told me you liked it.get over it. what do you think he should do go fly off the handle and beat the guy down? subject himself to a potential assault charge? or get his own ass kicked? if you have a real issue with the guy's actions go get his name and press charges. But this antiquated notion that your boyfriend should act like a caveman and go fight a guy for touching you is immature
The answers are almost entirely one sided here, which I find interesting, but if I saw the guy do the action, I defiantly would not be happy. Not necessarily fight him, but I would say that's my girlfriend's ass you just slapped. I'm not gonna fight some random drunk asshole and go to jail, it's not that big of a deal, and I think you're overeacting.
If he had noticed when it happened, I'd have expected him to say something, but honestly, what was he supposed to do when you told him after the fact? Search the bar for the guy and confront him? Start a fight?
What did YOU do when it happened? Did you tell the guy to go fuck himself, or did you just let it slide?Goddamn girl. You're seriously making a problem out of nothing. You're in a club, you can expect your butt gets slapped and your boyfriend just didn't saw it. That happends. He can't pay attention all the time. He couldn't do anything, because the guy was not there anymore. How was he supposed to? Be in shock over a week or something?
What did you want him to do?
It didn't bother him because it was a stupid drunk asshole slapping your ass... big f'n deal.
The guy was a stupid drunk which means he was likely to do something stupid without thinking. He was more likely to be aggressive if confronted.
Slapping your ass isn't a big deal, it isn't like he grabbed you, or molested you, all he did was tap his finger tips against the fatty part of your backend.
It seems as though you want to make this a bigger thing than it is.I guess next time if you're in an environment like that with drunks be very cautious and prepared. Just let your boyfriend know that you'd want him to be more alert.
Let's say if you get slapped again, simply shriek or scream to alert people around you.
But I've been in situations like that and reacting appreciately can sometimes be difficult.It's not in the best discretion to start a fight for that. The drunk guy left on his own problem solved. If the guy had stayed and harassed you then sure I would ask if firmly to stop. If he refused I would get the bar bouncer to remove him from the premises. Same result the drunk guy is gone. If you want to take the matter further as in file a sexual harassment suit that is on you. There is not much he can do but be a witness.
If a drunk guy slapped my girlfriends ass what am I supposed to do? I can't fight for shit, so I'd get the shit kicked out of me. Sometimes it's best to leave it. I don't fancy ending up in hospital with 3 broken ribs and a fractured skull defending my girl's 'honor'.
Luckily I don't go clubbing, so this won't ever happen. If it does don't expect me to put myself on the line for something that is only worth the mention..I think you need to chill. You can't expect your boyfriend to defend your honor everytime a guy comes and disrespects you like that. Just be cautious about it next time you go clubbing, be realistic.
Also, I think you should be happy that your boyfriend his secure in himself and his trust in you to not get "jealous at all, ever."Because having a mental breakdown or creating a scene would be counterproductive to having a good time, which I assume that's why you were there.
Wouldn't change the fact that it happened, and no permanent harm was done.
Picking your battles is always the smart choice.Your guy won't be jealous as the slap was uninvited. It's not as if you'd been fliting with this drunkard. It was just something that happened. Stay out of clubs if you don't like thing like that happening.
Beating up some drunk guy for doing that isn't right, he doesn't know what he's doing. I would maybe run after him and kick him in the ass, then politely walk away. Finding out about it afterwards, I would have been a little bit upset, I would have asked if you were ok first, then I would have reacted depending on how upset you were. If it was a sober guy, then I would have been really mad.
Interesting, all the girls said Nope and all the guys said acceptable
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