Why are men so unforgiving?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Personally I believe there's 7 billion people on the planet. So nobodies that special. I've got 50+ family members that I see regularly and I'm forever tied too. They're the only people I bother mending relationships with because my relationship with them is about more than just me. I'm a forgiving person. I forgive people so I can move on with my life but actions have consequences so if I feel wronged by you and I don't have any true binding reason to keep you around I'll cut you loose. I'll forgive you but you'll probably never know I did. Because forgiveness isn't the same as allowing people back into your life. When people ask for forgiveness and continually try to get back into my good graces I know they weren't apologizing because they hurt me they're apologizing because my reaction was hurting them. So it's not that I'm unforgiving I'm just unsempathetic to people who can't deal with the consequences of their actions. The only people that get that luxury are children. It's cold but I'm just not in the business of willfully surrounding myself with people that hurt me. I mean I'll forgive little stuff like you accidentally wrecked my car or forgot my birthday or something. But stuff like cheating on me or robbing me. That's not an accident. That's a decision and my decision in response to something like that is to move on.

[JuicyBrain]

We can't answer that. Obviously something happened to you. We have no idea what. We have no way to judge if he was right not to forgive. One event does not mean you can generalize to a whole gender.

[Tarvold]

We are forgiving to those who earns their forgiveness.

[Anonymous]

That's a general statement that is both meaningless and without merit. WHO are you referring to? In what situation? How can you broad-brush all men like that? Do you know all of them?

[Asker]

I know a lot of different types of men

[Opinion Owner]

You've obviously never met one like me. I am the most non-judgmental, forgiving person when it comes to relationships. The only time I didn't forgive a particular girl was when my best friend in college had a key to my apartment (he was an orphan who lived with his grandmother and couldn't take girls to his place), and when a certain class got canceled, I caught them in my bed in my apartment having sex. I think that is justified.

[Asker]

I would never do that!!

[-No0ne-]

What are you not being forgiven for?

[Asker]

lied... a year ago

[-No0ne-]

About something big or small?

[Asker]

something most have considered forgiveable

[-No0ne-]

You don't want to share what it was, huh? OK, no pressure.

Every man and woman are different. So the blanket statement is over the top.

If it was over a year ago and he has not forgiven you but is still with you then he needs to grow up. You do not hold something over someones head for a year or more in a loving relationship. The only possible exceptions would be if the forgiveness is abused or a serious breach of trust connected to the lie, but these are usually relationship killers.

I realize the Bible and all things Bible related are mostly frowned on here, but humor me for just a moment, OK?

The Bible states that you should not let the sun set on your anger, it also says to forgive AND forget. I would say that any relationship can benefit from these two concepts.

First, don't let anger fester, deal with it, talk it out. Next, if one of you forgives the other for something then the forgiver never brings it up. If it keeps coming up then there was no forgiveness, only words.

[Asker]

lol I can message you about it

[-No0ne-]

OK... From what you told me a year is more than enough time to have recovered from your lie. A month should have been.

What is his justification for continuing to hold this against you? I mean the obvious motivation is fear, but he is not so afraid that he felt the need to end the relationship. The amount of fear he is displaying in not forgiving you and his desire to continue the relationship are contradictory.

[Asker]

I couldn't agree with you more and whenever I decide I'm over it and leave... he always comes back and gets mad at the thought of him moving on.

[Asker]

what could be the only other fear? won't forgive me but won't let me go to be happy with someone else either and when I try he flips out

[serious]

I don't think all men are like that.

[Asker]

I don't either just this particular guy

[BertMacklinFBI]

depends on the guy brah

[alfonsosloan45]

Because we don't feel appreciated.

[Anonymous]

All generalizations are false, including this one.

[Cowboy6666]

What have I done now 😔

[Anonymous]

Why? Because you cheated on your boyfriend?

[Asker]

nope