Guys, found out my recently ex boyfriend drunk called& text my mom a couple of times sayn he wants to have sex with her. Any takes on this?

[Heartbroken511]

My ex is 39. I'm 33. My mom is 55. We broke up a little over a month ago but have been talking on and off. I know he still loves me. He keeps telling me that. But he says he can't be with me because he's screwed up. He has PTSD and has recently been seeing a therapist. He admitted to me that he has had multiple sex partners since our breakup. He says he feels like doing that will clear his mind and make him feel normal. I asked if it does. He says it does for that moment.

Anyway, I know he was introduced to sex by one of his friend's mom growing up when he was about 12. And then he met at lady when he was 16, she was 26. They ended up getting married, he went into the army at least 18. They started a family. He went overseas a lot. They stayed married up until till 4 years ago. We met when he was going through his divorce. He confided in me about a week ago that he's been talking a lot to his therapist about her. And he's starting to come to the conclusion, and his therapist agrees, that a lot of what he is going through now has to do with his relationship with her at such a young age.

So anyway, today I just found out from my mom that he has drunk called her twice. Last week and last night. Saying stuff like he has been fantasizing about her, he thinks she's sexy, he wants to have sex with her and stuff like that. I'm so numb right now. I don't know what to think. I'm hurt. But I also feel bad for him. He's so broken. Has anyone delta with these types of situations? I'm a pretty open minded person. Patient and understanding. I know men think completely different from women. But I'm not sure what to think about this. :/

[reptocarl]

This guy is seriously damaged and needs to seek therapy and you and your mom should encourage him to do so. He's trying to fix himself and that's a 100% impossibility. If he refuses then you need to cut him out of you're life. If you keep trying to help and be compassionate its only enabling him to not seek professional help. I have a very low opinion of enablers. They make it possible for someone to continue their destructive ways

[Heartbroken511]

He just started seeing a therapist last month. And I kinda feel like maybe that's bringing out some of the stuff he's been through when he was younger? I don't know. I'm so confused. My mom said he apologized this morning. I confronted him awhile ago. He said he was sorry. He doesn't mean it. He said he doesn't know why he's doing this. I told him I would go to therapy with him as a friend but he says he's not ready. He said he really wants to talk to me about what he's going through but doesn't know how

[reptocarl]

No, not you. He needs to talk to his therapist. Therapy does work but its directly proportional to the honesty you put in it. Don't be his sounding board that's what his therapist is for

[Heartbroken511]

Well I have just been wanting to go with him so I can better understand him.

[reptocarl]

No, its up to his therapist not him or you. You need to stay out you could cause more harm than good. You really need to get educated about therapy do's and dont's

[annoyymouse]

Not quiet sure of your question. Is it about helping him? Getting him back? If your mom is hot? There is kind of a lot going on in the description.

[Hercules073]

If you have a brother you should tell him.

Because that guy needs his but kicked.