Girls: Do you prefer a guy to be laid-back or ambitious?

[markml]

Let's say you've just met a guy, or you're going out on a casual date with a guy you recently met. Does it make a better impression for him to come off as very ambitious or really laid-back?

I'm not just talking about how he describes himself (school, career, etc.) but also the overall demeanor.

I usually consider myself to naturally be a very ambitious person, but I worry that girls think of me as too over-the-top. Also, sometimes I find myself just getting excited and talking a lot about all kinds of things...is it bad if a guy talks more than the girl?

But then, there was one girl I was with who described me as a "very laid-back guy" when I was with her. I'm not sure if she meant it as a compliment or not, but I should note that she was not a very laid-back person.

Which do you prefer, and do you think it has anything to do with your own personality or not? In other words, do you prefer someone who is the opposite of you or similar?

[BuriedHorizons]

Opposites attract isn't entirely unbelievable to me. It's like an intelligent, extroverted girl dating an intelligent, introverted guy. They have one thing in common, but the other is so out of range that it balances the two out. The more sociable person will influence the other to step outside for a little while and get them out of their comfort zone. The other less sociable person will influence the other to settle down and to learn how to appreciate a rainy day in front of a warm fireplace.

Personally. I would prefer dating my opposite. If we shared some type of common ground. There has to be at least one quality that keeps us from being two completely different people. And at least one thing that keeps us from killing each other. . .if only for a day. :]

As for the way you speak and how much you speak. . .I don't see how this is over-the-top. Someone who has passion and flare for something in life, is very desirable. Though. . .people who do not share such a strong passion might be a bit overwhelmed by you. If there is someone speaking to me so enthusiastically about something I have no idea about, I feel myself trying to work harder to keep up with them. But I try regardless because it's a shame to sway them away from something they feel strongly about. Instead of toning it down, I'd want them to continue. It's who they are, and if they know what they want and what they love. They've already explored one of the hardest things we as people need to discover: ourselves.

[markml]

Thanks! Sometimes I think I am my own opposite though, if that makes any sense. One layer of me is quiet and reserved, and another is hyper with my mind all over the place. People rarely see all sides of me.

So being overwhelmed by a guy's intensity doesn't make you less interested or ruin the mood for you?

[BuriedHorizons]

This makes perfect sense to me.It's rare that many people in your life will ever see all of these aspects that you possess. Most people have many layers.

It's never a mood killer for me. But not everyone is on the same level. A mood killer would be when he starts passionately - and with much enthusiasm - talking about his wife! If it's something that he's interested in, even if I have no idea what he's ranting about. I try my best to lend an ear and provide something to fuel this passion.

[Anonymous]

Just be yourself and people usually prefer people who are similar to them. There's lots of people in the world, so don't worry how you come across, because you'll eventually find someone who understands you and really similar to you and that's the best kind of relationship I think