Should I congratulate my ex wife on her pregnancy?

[Anonymous]

We were together 8 years. She left, giving a vague reason that she was getting unhappy. We kinda talked some after the divorce. She started sleeping around a lot (she admitted it to me, not hear say). We stopped talking eventually, and now its been about 6 months since I've heard a thing from or about her. The other day I heard from a mutual friend that she is pregnant. She apparently continued sleeping around, and got pregnant. I was thinking of sending her a text. But I don't know how to word it since it doesn't seem like an ideal situation. It sounds as if she didn't really know the guy, and I have no clue if he stuck around or not. Didn't really get details. This is what I'd say if it was planned, but I feel like it would be inappropriate given the apparent circumstances:

"I heard the big news, congratulations! I bet you and your significant other are excited. There's no need to reply. I'm not trying to conversate or anything. I just wanted to say that I'm really happy for you"

I'm just not really sure this is a happy/congrats type of moment. I don't know what I'd say though. I don't want to resume talking to her or anything. I just thought i'd say something nice, and I am/would be genuinely happy for her if this is/was a positive situation. I feel bad though if it isn't.

[hellionthesage]

I think given the situation that even with the best of intentions it would come off as insincere. I would just leave it be, after all as you said it yourself you really have no interest in talking to her again and clearly she is not really interested in a relationship with you since she divorced you and then stopped talking to you. You don't need to try and look supportive or nice she is an ex and you should probably just resume living your life don't even worry about it.

[AnonKuma]

Unless you have full confirmation or evidence that it's a positive situation or the father is there/its mutual then you may consider congratulating your wife. Otherwise, if you are full of doubts or its vague if the father is still there, then DO NOT SAY ANYTHING she doesn't need to hear this from you

[Asker]

All I know is she was sleeping around and is pregnant. So I figure there's a good chance the guy might not have stuck around. But I don't know. She is keeping it though, so I figured she might be a little bit excited maybe. But I suppose her keeping it doesn't mean its an alright situation. I just didn't want to come off as a dick.

[AnonKuma]

Unless you guys still talk to each other/check up on each other, then why would you come off as a dick? If you guys don't have anything to do with each other anymore, then she prob doesn't care about you or even think of you as a friend anymore. It's like you guys are just acquaintances now with a past history.

Women who sleep around like that generally prob don't care about their ex-husband

[TiffyPuff]

I'd maybe not send it. It's all through the grapevine and I think it would just come off weird, especially if it isn't true. Like, she hasn't told you about it herself either.

I'd wait for her to say something. And if she doesn't... well, remember, she is your ex.

But maybe just send a text to see how she's doing? And if she wants to say something, she will.

[madgirl220k]

I don't know ! She sleeping around right after a broke up is kinda weird my best guess is that she needed money ! I would give congratulations as being polite but would try to know if she is happy about the pregnancy because otherwise might just sound as sarcastic !

[niahc]

Stop talking to her, its kinda pathetic. She doesn't want you in her life any more, and you talking to her is going to hold you back from moving on with your life

[Asker]

I haven't spoke to her in 6 months, and don't wish to. I just thought thought I'd be nice.

[Livinglogical]

Lol that is definitely not a 'congrats' moment. If you must text her then prob best to go with 'hey, heard you were expecting? hope you are alright?' etc...

[Asker]

That's what I was thinking. She is keeping it though, so I'm not sure if she might be kind of excited even though its a less than desirable situation. I just don't want to come off as a dick, or want her to think I'm trying to speak with her. Just basically wanted to wish her well.

[Livinglogical]

Even if she is excited, she still gonna be more terrified than excited in that situation. I think probably best not to text her unless you're willing to actually be there for her as well, best keep out of things.

[MrAtticusLebowski]

I feel that should would interpret any sincere comment as a slight to her. Especially if it wasn't unplanned or if she doesn't even know for sure who the dad is.

To be perfectly honest i think you've done your time. I'm surprises she even wants to talk to you.

[Asker]

Yah, I was thinking that she would probably take it wrong. I just figured I'd be nice, but there's no good way to word it with the situation she's in. And I didn't know if she might be a little excited since she is keeping it. But regardless it isn't a great situation. I'll probably just let it be.

[YellowCactus]

This text sounds so savage to me, lol... Why to text her in the first place if she's your ex? I don't see any reason to. Also, there isn't to feel bad about here, she messed around so she got what she deserved in my opinion. Remember that ex's stay ex's for a damn good reason. Tho, to me it also looks like you try to point score.

[Anonymous]

Just say congratulations. You don't need to do the whole explanation about you're not trying to talk etc, just say congratulations and leave it at that.

[Asker]

I just didn't want to sound like a dick, since she doesn't really know the guy. Also I'm not sure if he stuck around or not. I don't know if "congratulations" is appropriate.

[Opinion Owner]

You can sort of make light of it something like oh you know how people talk, people love to gossip, but I heard you have big news, should I be saying congratulations? I hope you're happy at least, it's a big thing.
Then if you want to talk to her really, you can just add something about how you're there if she needs to vent or whatever.

[SarahsSummer]

It's not a congratulatory moment. Unless you want to give her a jab, I'd keep it to yourself

[Asker]

That's what I was thinking. She is keeping it though, so I'm not sure if she might be kind of excited even though its a less than desirable situation. I just don't want to come off as a dick, or want her to think I'm trying to speak with her. Just basically wanted to wish her well.

[SarahsSummer]

If you feel strongly about genuinely wishing her well, then you should. Just be very careful with your wording. Many women may get view it as a dick move, but hopefully from her time with you, she doesn't view your personality capable of that.

[Barrabus_the_Free]

Don't bother. There's absolutely no reason to talk to her.

[Asker]

I know. I don't want to talk to her or anything. I just figured i'd be nice and say something. she was a part of my life for 8 years after all. But I guess there is no reason to.

[Anonymous]

Good thing she's an ex, because she's a slutty woman.

[meatballs21]

She is your ex. You should not be in contact with her. It is not appropriate.

[rose004b]

Unless she tells you herself, I don't think you should go out of your way to congratulate her.

[Anonymous]

Don't stir the shitpot. It doesn't sound like the ideal situation.

[Anonymous]

Nope, you shouldn't say anything. I don't honestly believe you are "happy" for her.

[Sweetie3423]

I think what you said should be fine to send.

[Asker]

Even though it seems like it might not be a be a good situation, her not really knowing the guy. And I'm not even sure if he's in the picture. I just don't want to sound like a dick if its a bad situation. Also I dont want her think I'm trying to talk to her or anything. I'm just simply wishing her well.

[Sweetie3423]

Then maybe just send her a message saying I heard the news and I wanted to congratulate you. Wish you well. And just leave it at that.

[Bowshots86]

Wait till she tells you

[relaxrelax]

did you have kids with her

[Asker]

Nope

[relaxrelax]

don't waste your time
there is nothing holding you together to her

if you had a kid id understand but never bother her again
get a new girl

cause if she took your kids and hooked up with some guy id give you a completely different answer trust me

[TheBigGiantHead900]

Just say Congratulations and move on.

[Jeniferh21]

Sure that's nice

[anonman32]

yeah sure why not.

[COCOCHANEL]

it's cordial

[OfDeath]

Pfft... no.