Is it "rude" not to congratulate someone who is having a baby?

[Anonymous]

I mean, all she did was have sex. My co-worker says it was rude not to say congratulations.

[Herbie_Otch]

Why would the act of having sex even be what you're thinking about when someone says she's pregnant? It's not what she's thinking about when she tells you, I guarantee it. If it were, she'd come announce it to you every time she has sex. Immature high school or college dudes might go around soliciting high fives every time they get laid, but the rest of the world doesn't.

When someone becomes pregnant, especially for the first time, she is at a major turning point in her life. She's about to be living for someone besides herself, caring for and nurturing another human being and witnessing the growth of her own offspring. She's signed up to witness and participate in the miracle of human life, and will experience joy, pain, struggles and triumphs greater than anything she's been through before.

Sometimes congratulations aren't given as praise for an accomplishment already achieved. Sometimes they are celebratory and express that you are happy for someone else's happiness and acknowledge that they have reason to celebrate.

So no, you don't HAVE to congratulate someone, but the fact that you don't want to might be a good reason to stop and reflect. If you aren't capable of being happy for someone else who got news that makes them happy, and react with resentment because you think they didn't "earn" your congratulations, you might want to address where those feelings are coming from. Resentment and lack of empathy generally don't make people happy and well adjusted.

[Herbie_Otch]

Also, if you're too vocal about thinking she doesn't deserve praise for having sex, when nobody else was even talking about sex, people may get the impression you're jealous to learn that she's having sex, and that you might be having difficulty in that department. If you can't quell your own resentment, you may at least want to keep it to yourself. Just food for thought.

[Moonchild714]

Definitely MHO 🏆

[nightdrot]

Yes, it is rude. It costs you nothing in time and energy to congratulate someone on their good fortune - even if to you it is not something you would want for yourself. To the contrary, it shows that you can share in someone's happiness and can wish them well.

Is it a thrashing offense like slamming a door in someone's face? Of course not, and context matters. If you see a stranger on the street, you are not obliged to go up to them and congratulate them. If you are introduced to someone who is expecting, it costs you nothing to say as an aside, "Congratulations," and what is more it shows a certain sense of common sympathy and fellow feeling for another human being. Perish the thought.

Should someone congratulate you on getting a promotion? Of course not. All you did was earn your way up the career ladder. Why should they care?

It has been well said that things like manners and etiquette are the things that grease the skids of civilization. They rub the rough edges off of daily life and give us a sense, in some small way, of fellow feeling with other human being. Empathizing with them in their sorrows while sharing in their joys.

As bad manners go, failing to congratulate someone on their pregnancy is by far not the worst thing, but let's just say that it does not say much for you. It just puts you another in the long line of dreary beings, mildly self-absorbed and adding nothing to the sum of human happiness.

[Moonchild714]

I use to struggle congratulating women on their Pregnancy, I saw it as losing a Drinking Buddy. The Guys I congratulated without hesitation Never saw a difference in the Drinking/Partying Habits of the Daddy's during Pregnancy or after Pregnancy but all the Mommy's Drink and Partied a lot less and that bummed me out... Even in Sobriety Women I NEVER Drink with when they told me they were Preggers I couldn't be happy right away until I talked it over and over with my Sponsor and came to the conclusion it wasn't about losing Drinking Buddies but my NOT being able to have children knowing I would Miscarry every time. Once I dealt with that I was able to genuinely be joyful for my Family, Friends, and Colleagues... And now here I am Pregnant surprised as all Hell Husband's Swimmers got through an IUD and impregnated me with Triplets. Anyhow, it's nit about congratulating anyone fir having Sex or the condom broke you are wishing them a Happy Life with their Upcoming Addition if they are announcing they are probably happy and not ashamed of the pregnancy.

[Herbie_Otch]

Woah, hope you and your hubby are rolling with the unexpected. Wishing you well, and if you're excited, congratulations!

[Moonchild714]

We're very excited. So is our 9 year old son.

[Herbie_Otch]

Awesome! Then for sure, big congratulations (and I don't mean for having sex, see how this works, @Asker?)

[Moonchild714]

😂😂😂😂😂😂 Thank you so much @Herbie_Otch

[Moonchild714]

Thank you for MHO.

[TCredo]

Lol this is the most funny bit I've found... above you say:

And now here I am Pregnant surprised as all Hell Husband's Swimmers got through an IUD and impregnated me with Triplets. Anyhow, it's nit about congratulating anyone fir having Sex or the condom broke you are wishing them a Happy Life with their Upcoming Addition if they are announcing they are probably happy and not ashamed of the pregnancy.

I am laughing at how absolutely ridiculous that is considering what we know now lol

[TCredo]

But then again... if your husband's swimmers were shot out of the world's biggest cock then maybe... just maybe his ocean of swimmers would find their way through your IUD... and all the other issues you were facing... and somehow in your late 40's you would become prego with triplets... LORD! it's a miracle! lol... please for everyone... just come clean... ok? :)

[Prettygurl12]

I'm 26 and I still have to make a conscious decision to not say, "Oh no, I'm sorry; what are you going to do?" 😂😂😂😂

I'm well in the age-range where my friends are married and kids are expected but my husband and I a) don't want kids and b) haven't discussed if we'll ever revisit that topic lol

I'd only genuinely say congratulations to someone who I knew genuinely wants a child and who has struggled for a long time to conceive. My SIL has had fertility issues and she and her husband tried 7 years to conceive and all she's wanted is to be a mom, so when she announced they were expecting I was SO happy for them.

My husband and I may not want kids, but that doesn't mean that I hate kids or don't want them for others lol

[Account]

I never do. It would feel wrong if I did.

[CubsterShura]

Yes it's rude.

Yeah they just had sex, but it doesn't change the fact that they are expecting the arrival of a new addition to their family and they probably put a lot of plan and investment into it. It's a great news, and so you should be congratulating.

[humanearth]

I said this to someone and they got pissed.

So your going to bring another human to the world. What were you thinking? You just made it 1000 times easier for you give up your rights and freedom.

Because your going to be one of them stupid motherfuckers. That are going to let your kid have a tablet at 5 years old and put movies on for a babysitter.

Your kid is going to be fucked up in the head, because you. Thanks for ruining another kids life dumbass.

They were pissed, but guess what. That exactly what she is doing.

They kid is 8 and she did everything I said she would to. She don't spend time with the kid, the kid won't do nothing but sit there.

What a way to ruin a human life that way

[Anonymous]

I just want to correct you on something. Not all people “just had sex” to get pregnant. It took me a year and 3 months JUST to get pregnant. Some people have fertility issues. It wasn’t just having sex. I had to take fertility shots, which were pretty expensive. I had to change my entire diet, and workout routine. I tried other things before having to shoot myself up with hormones that were costly and took a lot of effort.

I don’t think people realize that it’s not just having sex to get pregnant. Sure, if you’re really fertile, good for you. But everyone is different. So because of what I went through, I always say congrats. And by the way, you’re also saying congrats because they’re going to be parents. And being a parent has nothing to do with just having sex. It’s actually having to raise a baby, that’s what the congrats is for as well.

[HayleyMarie]

You’re congratulating the fact that she is pregnant and is going to become a mother, not that she had sex. If you don’t want to say anything that’s fine. Just don’t say to her “all you did was have sex”

[Thatsamazing]

... All she DID do was have sex. Storks dropping babies off at the door after being ordered from a catalog doesn't exist. Are you joking?

[I-C3_ME]

That was a good movie tho

[HayleyMarie]

You do know that it takes some women months to get pregnant right? It’s not easy for everyone. Some women can’t even conceive naturally. When you congratulate someone on a pregnancy it’s well wishes on them becoming parents (soon to be)
Are you joking? You’re honestly the biggest troll I’ve seen on here. You never make any sense. Your comments make it sound like you’ve only got a few brain cells left rolling around up there. Go read a book.

[Thatsamazing]

No one is trolling, unless you are. You've decided to deny reality, perhaps in some quasi-"woke" attempt to make yourself feel better. "Several months to get pregnant" simply means they're getting fucked a lot, as opposed to a little. Again, are YOU joking. Indeed, please go read a book-- preferably a biology journal.

[HayleyMarie]

You don’t seem to get the fact that when you say congratulations to someone being pregnant, it’s the fact that they are expecting a new addition to their family that you are congratulating them on. Not the fact that they had sex. I know that they did have to have a sex to get pregnant, but that’s not what the congrats is for.
I will stop wasting time trying to explain things to you. I’m losing brain cells reading your dim witted comments ✌🏻

[Thatsamazing]

"I know that they did have to have a sex to get pregnant" (claps) Well done; you understand the basics of animal reproduction. I'm glad. Your other comments didn't make it clear.

Sigh. You're essentially saying that the end result of a thing is the only thing that matters-- ignore everything else. Don't pay any attention to HOW your food got to your plate... just pay attention to THAT there is food on your plate. Don't pay any attention to HOW a person over here became boxing champion by beating up a bunch of other people to get there... just pay attention to THAT they are there. Don't pay attention to HOW a chick becomes pregnant, as in getting creampied in her pussy by a dick... just pay attention to THAT they are pregnant.

From whence does this decision in your mind to magically separate causation from the events being caused, arise?

[I-C3_ME]

I don't know about u guys but I'm having the time of my life, all that's missing is creative cursing. But I'm happy as it is. Hope u 2 have a great day tho

[HayleyMarie]

I’m having a great day! Thank you.
This guy ignoring all things people say is quite amusing. Makes me feel better to know that I’m well educated 👍🏻

[I-C3_ME]

Yeah it is amusing but I'm glad u are well educated. As a random stranger on the internet, I'm proud of u

[HayleyMarie]

Haha that comment was more of a dig to this guy, but thank you. Glad to be a source of entertainment in your day.

[sejla]

If she seemed happy about it I would congratulate her on it. It isn't so much about it being an accomplishment but a blessing. The work is taking care of the baby's development during the 9 months. Eating right and keeping a healthy lifestyle. You'd think that was a given but it isn't.

[DorkVader]

It's not rude unless you're going out of your way to be a dick to her because she's pregnant, like making abortion or baby killing jokes around her. If you are going about your normal life, then no. It's really not your business. Just don't be eating cake and ice cream at the office baby shower, hypocrite

[morimeme1]

If she wanted to have a baby then it makes sense to congratulate her not on the fact that she had sex but on the fact that she is entering the world of motherhood willingly. It is rude to not say it but oh well, why would she need every singe person to say it anyways?

[Flower7]

No, it's not rude to not say "Congratulations". That's your own personal choice whether you want to say that or not. And apparently, people who say it's rude are going around being fake and saying things they don't even mean just to be " polite ". I think that's much worse than what you did. I wouldn't even want to receive a fake *Congratulations" from anyone.

[cicchis0]

I don't think so. I don't automatically congratulate pregnant women because I don't know their situation - it may be unwanted, they may be in an abusive relationship, etc. If they are boasting about it like a new car or holiday plans then they are obviously happy about it but I don't like to reward people that fish for compliments, so I would be more likely to wish them luck.

[Adam1978]

No it's not rude unless you count as a very close person, family is expected to be supportive and congratulate on these events. Not doing so is like saying I don't care about you.

Personally I think it is better to wait until it is born before congratulate them.

[Timelesswisdom]

It is good to encourage people to view their children as blessings so that they will be more likely to treat them as blessings, plus people like to hear good tidings from their friends. But perhaps your blunt disinterest is part of the charm they love you for?

[Substantialman]

In my job you get a card going round to congratulate the co worker. They even have email quiz poll to guess if it will be a girl or boy. You really don't have to congratulate anybody if you don't want to. If babies and being a dad is not your thing then you probably see things differently and if your a male that had a crush on this co worker so could find it difficult to be happy for her. It's a lot things but don't tell someone that it's just sex that's not cool.

[Xylem1992]

you're looking at this all wrong. Its about the fact that she is going to be a mother. Sometimes getting pregnant is planned, sometimes unplanned. Either way we all think about becoming a parent one day, at least a little bit, and when it happens it IS a big deal.
Its a milestone and rite of passage

[kingofthellamas]

Hmmm. I think what you are congratulating is not having a baby per se, but more about recognising it's an important and brave new chapter they are starting on. But, before I had kids myself I didn't really understand this and would not congrats people.

[Thatsamazing]

No, because like you said, all she did was get cumdumpstered, which requires literally zero effort other than laying on one's back and spreading one's legs (though I suppose she could have taken it from behind too). I've never understood why the congratulatory message exists as the palatable response to "I'm pregnant" or whatever.

Also why did you put "rude" in quotes.

[Thatsamazing]

Sigh... Somebody do me a favor and post this in @HayleyMarie's comment please, to let her know that she's stupid, just like so many other people on this site... thank you in advance...
Blocking someone who disagrees with you means you're stupid. ↗

[btbc92]

If you have nothing nice to say don't say it. That's what I always say. It was your opinion, but that is rude.

[jennifer_bloom]

It takes no effort to have sex but carrying a baby and getting pregnant and nursing a child and protecting and providing for them and teaching morals is a lot of work so yes pregnant woman deserve to be respected for what they are sacrificing.

[PondyPand]

Nah. It's sort of weird.
I guess the congrats is more about them growing a baby for 9 months and their body giving everything to grow the child to it's best ability. But of course a guy would just say about the sex.

[AdmiralSirJohn]

I don't use the word "congratulations". Instead, despite not being Jewish, i use the Hebrew term "Mazel Tov", which means "I celebrate your good fortune."

Yes, she had sex, but that alone does not guarantee conception and implantation. Plenty of viable zygotes end up in toilets or cloths because it never found a place in its mother's uterus.

It's not so much rude as inconsiderate. (Rude, to me, is deliberate.)