My boyfriend likes to "playfully" slap me, is this weird or actually normal?

Question

I asked another question and brought this up, so I wanted to make it a topic and it's own question. But basically my boyfriend will just randomly ask to slap me in the face (not in public) One time I asked him why and he said because it just makes him feel powerful. Honestly, sometimes I let him do it and sometimes I dont because it freaking hurts. I also notice that he always ask when he's standing over me for example, I'll be sitting on the couch or bed and he'll walk up to me lookinf down on me asking me to let him slap me. He thinks its funny too because he laughs a little bit after. Why does he like doing this? Like I said sometimes I do say no and he won't do it or he'll say "just one time".

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

Why is he slapping you in the face? That is what I want to know. You don't comfortable with this. And it sounds extremely childish on his part. I suggest that you stop him from doing that. Or he may get abusive. Matter of fact, that could be a very subtle sign that he is. And he sounds like he's doing so in mocking manner. Are you timid, shy, soft spoken at times, or behave like you can't speak up for yourself? Or afraid like you may say the wrong thing to upset people or turn them away? Because this is a red flag. And I suggest that you get away from him: IMMEDIATELY.

I don't like his behavior already. And he sounds like he will turn violent later on in this relationship if your not on his 'good side'. Get out, is my opinion. You should not have to ask us. Ask him WHY does he do it. Because I would not like anybody playfully smack me. Especially when I grew up in domestically abusive situations on and off in my life.

"Honestly, sometimes I let him do it and sometimes I dont because it freaking hurts." Then you put your foot down and tell him no more. Why would it have to hurt? And he asks you to let him slay you? And he thinks its funny? Not girl, he is MOCKING you because your two easy and submissive with no backbone or dignity. Get out this relationship. This is NOT a relationship.

redeyemindtricks · Accepted Answer

Whether this is "weird" is ENTIRELY up to you.

When my husband slaps me across the face -- in a way that's not even remotely "playful" -- I get frissons of electricity running through my entire body. If I'm already on the brink of orgasm, a nice, hard, *perfect* slap can absolutely make me explode.
We even PRACTICE the slaps -- especially against hard surfaces (like with my face pressed against a desk or a hard floor) -- so that he can hit me even harder without leaving any marks... because that's what gets ME off.
I like EVERYTHING hard. I need to be slapped hard, fucked hard, and *loved* even harder.

I'm on one extreme.

Other women are at the opposite extreme -- this would turn them off completely, so much that they might even break up with a man for doing it one single time.

YOU need to figure out where YOU stand, on that spectrum. No one can tell you that, except YOU.

If this kind of thing DOES turn you on... Girlfrienddddd
In that case, yr boyfriend needs to do some serious work on his ability to set a mood, create intensity, and bring YOU into a more submissive state.
Asking you every time... hee-hee-hee laughing afterwards... and "feeling powerful"? Oh sweet fucking helllllll no.

x_Pretty_x · Accepted Answer

Hmmm, I'm thinking 2 things could be the reason for this. Either (A) he feels confined within himself and is feeling anger deep inside and wants to know what it's like to have you cower to him. Sorry hope that made sense. And (B) he likes to role play. Honestly tho, if he laughs about it and you don't feel threatened in any way then go with it, if you want it. Why don't you ask him if it's his way of role playing or if be wants to feel powerful and have you cower to him? He may tell you. Because if (A) is the reason why he's acting this way, then that may lead to something more serious and hurtful down the road. He may need to speak to a counceller. But if it's hurting when he's slapping you, and you don't like it. It's better to set some ground rules now. One things about role playin is there has to be mutual respect. When you say stop, he stops. End of story.

youtoo · Accepted Answer

It sounds like a power trip to me : he derives enjoyment from your discomfort, also known as a sadist. Unless you enjoy the discomfort he inflicts on you, or are the masochist to his sadist, I suggest that you GTFO immediately!!! If you want to try and work things out instead, tell him to stop doing it because if you don't IT WILL BECOME A PATTERN.

Take it from experience.

Good luck <3

Blitzkrieger · Accepted Answer

this is a thing that sometimes is practiced in BDSM, it falls under impact play. but it requires some procedures prior and after the act. before the act both of you need to explain how far you are willing to go, and how far you are maybe willing to go in the future. and after the act there should be aftercare. there should always be some love after the act by both the submissive person and the dominant person no matter what act is engaged in. this will prevent hurt feelings, or worse abuse.

the fact that you let him do it sometimes tells me that it is something you are maybe willing to explore further? if that is the case i suggest that you both become educated on BDSM and what it is. many resources are available for free on the internet.

if you are not willing to explore further then you should sit him down and talk to him about it.

"is this weird or actually normal?"

that depends upon you, your partner and what you agree upon in your relationship. if you both would like to engage in impact play (thats what it falls under) then it is very normal. if either of you would not be interested in it then it is absolutely not normal and it should not be tolerated.

MaximisPryme · Accepted Answer

The 'asking' is a bit weird... It almost seem a bit ike he has violent tendencies, but the actually slapping is not weird.

I could see someone unexpectedly slapping their lover, as a part of flirting, but asking to do it is odd.

If you don't like it, tell him so. Part of a relationship, is communication. Communication builds trust, and that is what bolsters a healthy relationship.

Wonderer89 · Answer

Definition of weird is up to you honey. If you don't like it and it's actually hurting you (and not a good pain) then ask him to stop. Some people just aren't into pain, and it seems like the occasions he's doing it aren't related to sex but just to a general dominance/degradation?
I love slaps on my ass and thighs, and it can be HARD but I don't think across the face would ever do something for me

Unesjomajo · Answer

A guy used to do this to me too, never too hard though. And he loved grabbing me by my throat too, even in public (it turned me on). He never got violent against me. I guess its a sexual thing...

But if you really really dont like him, then straight up tell him. Communication is important.

OmniSlug · Answer

It doesn't matter if it's "normal" or not. What matters is whether YOU are fine with it, have communicated your stance to him, and whether he has respected your wishes.

If he doesn't listen, get away from him. You shouldn't be in a relationship that lacks respect.

Jimrat86 · Answer

I get slapped by my girlfriend in a playful manner from time to time (playful but she makes it really hurt if I'm being really mean).
She knows that she has my consent to do it so there is no problem. If consent is given, then I don't see a problem.

Maik567 · Answer

He's probably a little bit sadistic or just has a domination fetish where he can treat you like that. I don't see anything wrong with it since he always asks you and respects it when you say no.

Not gonna lie it can be a turn on.

Joephiffer · Answer

He is a dick. Dose it hurt or play taping. I do it to my wife all the time but I could never even say it's a slap. She never said stop that hurt or any thing like that. Just like touching her cheeks. Like tap tap. I no a lot of people that play that way and there girls say at the most it's a pain in the ass that's it

Anonymous · Answer

Don't let him hit you, or if he asks to slap you then ask him if you can do so too and slap him as hard as he slaps you so he can see how it feels. It could just be a thing he thinks is funny, a small fetish even but don't let it continue. It could end up being something he gets into routine of doing and could potentially hurt you. Especially don't let him slap you in the face just to giggle about it.

SammyGurl · Answer

No it's not normal, you are describing an escalating type of hitting, which just might lead to a more abusive type of hitting. Be careful,.

GoldCobra · Answer

I think it's normal. Sounds like an immature guy. Also pretty normal. Next question!

Bluemax · Answer

The more pressing question is how do *you* feel about it?

MadeInAmerica · Answer

Yes it weird, Surprise you let it him do it. That who different kinda dominant thing because when he does it their is nothing sexual about it.

Phoenix98 · Answer

That's not a good thing and he shouldn't do that nor should you allow him to.

Anonymous · Answer

It's weird and crosses a boundary that shouldn't be crossed. Next time he asks, tell him he can do it as long as he gets on his knees and begs you any time he wants to have sex.

Theodorable · Answer

That shit is weird. Don't hangout with weirdos. Weird is not cool.

Anonymous · Answer

Next 5 months domestic violence, he will beat the living day light out of you just now. Pick up on the signs, you better run for the hills

Anonymous · Answer

As long as you're OK with a male, "hitting" a female

Saoirse_Nua · Answer

If you don't like it, that is a red flag to me

feminismisnarcissism · Answer

seems a bit sociopathic

jacquesvol · Answer

In the face? ? Not really normal in my opinion.

Anonymous · Answer

I think it can be pretty hot during sex

Anonymous · Answer

Abnormal. Dangerous.

Anonymous · Answer

Weird

Autumn-Bunny · Answer

Df? Lol

WhaChaChaKing · Answer

Leave him.

My boyfriend likes to "playfully" slap me, is this weird or actually normal?

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