Boyfriend deleted my instagram comment?

[Anonymous]

I'm aware relationships shouldn't be validated through the internet, which is why mutually me and my partner keep out relationship off social media.

before we got into a relationship i would comment on his posts and he would do the same vice versa. no harm. However we've been together for 8 months now (ldr) and i know this question sounds stupid even i think so as i'm typing it but it's the internet you can ask anything to gain another person's perspective on a matter.

so on his recent post i left a cute comment
He then messaged me saying he didn't want any of his guy followers to be nosy, stalk me or message me (but even if that was the case surely i have the ability of ignoring unwanted messages like i normally do? he does feel uneasy by the amount of messages i receive by guys which i totally ignore!) he said it's better for people to assume and left wondering than know everything.

what left me unconvinced is how his female friends can comment flirtatious compliments but when i do it gets deleted. he simply said that he doesn't care if any of his guy followers follow, stalk them - he wants me to stay protected off it. But his close friends are aware that he is in a relationship and explains to me who each person is, how they met, became friends etc.

I understand the decision of keeping relationship private but it shouldn't be a secret. it's not as if we're posting picture of each other etc. just a comment. i didn't know why it was so deep for him, personally i would have just left it and shrug it off? We don't even tag each other publicly on twitter. we don't even have eachother on facebook because we don't even use it but it's because i'm comfortable in trusting him on all platforms without the need for me to be on it.

He never gives me anything to worry about to cause doubts but this i just found quite bizzare... i have never came across anyone that does that? do guys in relationships do this?
Guys what do you think?

[super147]

I don't think that he should have deleted your comment, I think it's a bit disrespectful. You are his girlfriend and, as such, have every right to comment on his social media and to expect that your comment would be appreciated and would remain. His reasoning for not wanting you to comment on there doesn't stack up to me, it sounds very flimsy. He doesn't need to protect you from guys, you are quite capable of doing that for yourself.

The only thing I can think of is whether he has had any experience in the past where a friend of his has made moves on a girlfriend of his. If so then it might make some kind of sense.

Call me suspicious but gut feeling is more like that he doesn't want someone who follows him to know that he has a girlfriend. A bit like a married person going out without their wedding ring on. In almost all incidences of a guy doing this kind of thing that I have ever heard about or read about it was because he was up to something.

That's just my gut feeling and it is only based on the information that you have given. I don't know your boyfriend or what he is all about so don't take my opinion as fact.

[Asker]

hmm that is actually something i never thought of. never actually thought of the fact this could have happened previously to him with an ex and a friend of his. On social media everyone follows anyone these days. you follow them online before even seeing them in real life.

this happened ages ago by the way. we're good as ever but this question just really bugged me wondering if there were other guys that genuinely do this because all of my other guys show off their girlfriends etc. so i just didn't want feel like something was abnormal.
I mean the way celebrities keep their relationships very lowkey and then out of the blue they announced they're marriage for example. some people just genuinely want to remain lowkey?

[super147]

My stance is that I won't be with anyone who needs to keep me a secret. I'm not saying that they need to announce it from the rooftops, but if they deliberately tried to hide me then that's a deal breaker.

He's not just not mentioned you or something like that, he's deleted your comment. That's a bit far in my opinion and I wouldn't like it.

[mits777]

When I was in a relationship with a girl we both didn't used any social media, it worked as charm. Why should people waste time and post on Instagram? I don't get it when you are in a relationship and have a nice life or whatever why should you share pictures to other people. You have to live for yourself! and enjoy your own lives, not post for the pleasure of the other people. Skype and other things are great for communication, social media is stupid, waste of time and very bad for relationships because any of you will receive a lot of messages and attentions by other people. And to answer directly your question he shouldn't have deleted your comment! instead he should have been proud of it. He sounds like a friend of mine (hope he isn't like my friend) who pretended to be single over internet for banging other girls while he was in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

if he dont show you off or want people to know that your his girl and if your not able to comment cute comments on his picture you need to confront him about it, cus if its been 8 months with him and he still hasn't showed you off or even posted pictures with you or even let you comment. he basically has you wrapped around his finger so he thinks that he can do anything and your not gonna trip about it, in my current relationship we have been dating for almost two months and he has his say and i have mine and i would deffintley not allow him to have other girls commenting flirtatous comments and deleting mine. so i wish you luck and hope everything goes well :)
hope this helped you.

[PrinandRose]

Nah, man. That's a good way to say he doesn't want people knowing you're in a relationship, which is never fucking good. I had a guy who was like that, filled my pretty head with pretty lies, kissed my hands when I was suspicious, he ended up cheating on me with my low grade whore of a best friend. When people know they have a reason to put him on blast, so he didn't receive the backlash he deserved. This is some foreshadowing right here. Any man who is proud of you should be DYING to tell the world. Fuck him.

[sugarchateau]

🤔 Dude...

1) the guys can stalk you from past comments.

2) how will they know you're taken unless he claims you?

3) you posted before and it was ok. It shouldn't be any different now.

4) you can block messages.

The only problem with people knowing that your dating... is that other girls won't try to hook up with him.

[Anonymous]

He's hiding something. He's probably flirting with other chicks who have no idea that you're his girlfriend and he probably doesn't want them to find out. At least, that's what I think. I hope I am wrong.

[WODSE]

exacly, lmao.

[WODSE]

He probably has or is working on getting other girls , and probably those girls think he is single and he doesn't want them to find out or he is really insecure or wants to keep you on the low , either way keep an alert and see if he textes other people around you and doesn't want you to see who is texting dont be naive , that first point should be the first thing that crossed your mind.

[GarySummer]

Sorry to tell you this but he doesn't want his other friends to know he's taken. Either he's embarrassed with you or doesn't want other girls to know he isn't available. I'd chuck him if I were you.

[Asker]

i told him this. i said it looked as if he's trying to give the impression that he was unavailable to all these girls. He said if he was trying to give that impression he would tell them to message him rather than publicly display comments where i can see them? can you see why this is a pickle lol...

[GarySummer]

How does he react if you flirt with other guys?

[Asker]

I wouldn't flirt with other guys if i am in a relationship.

If other guys approach me, message me etc. sure he'd be irritated but he trusts me enough that ii would turn them down. I'm not instigating anything.

[GarySummer]

Sounds like he's encouraging them to flirt with him though by asking them to send him private messages. I think you're on completely different pages TBH and you deserve better.

[GraveTruth]

he doesn't sound very proud of you. Most people actually "WANT" their girl to promote interest in them.

The stalking thing is an excuse there is a block button and you also have your own account to be stalked.

[Halfbloodprincess23]

His reasoning doesn't sound quite logical. If that was my boyfriend I would be suspicious. It's easy to just believe what he says because I am sure you care about him deeply, but deleting a comment seems a bit OD.

[likitb4istickit]

I simply don't do social media at all (pretty much disappeared off Farcebook and the rest several months ago and haven't went back and don't plan to), problem solved.

[SoulGirl]

He's lying. How? He lets other girls flirt and comment, but you're the exception. How could you believe that crap?

[RedRain]

I don't think his reasons are valid. I think he should be proud of you and shouldn't have any issues showing you to the world (his world).

[Nazzz]

I guess he cheats on you and he doesn't want them to know about you... Maybe you should take his social media passwords and you can check.. If he doesn't give you i should say that you have to break up with him.

[Anonymous]

He keeps u a secret so other girls would think he is single. I'm sorry to say this, but if I were u. I would dump his ass cause he is still looking for something better while he is stringing you along.

[peachblossomluck]

He's lame, illogical, insecure, controlling and probably already cheating on you. Lose him fast.

[Smmyskittles]

No, they don't do that.

You've met his friends and family, right?

[Anonymous]

thats a warning sign of some bad juju. might not be so bad now but it might be a sign of a potential cheater or insecure/abusive guy

[Anonymous]

If it's not private, it's public
If it's not public, it's private

Also, ignoring won't do anything. They'll just keep trying. That's how stalkers think. If they keep harassing you, get help

[Belgie]

He's controlling and insecure.

[zombiebabe]

he needs to grow up! he is selfish to act this way