He doesn't ask me questions, why?

[Anonymous]

Just started dating an older guy. we talk everyday but other than "how was your day?" and "are you okay?" he doesn't ask me anything... we do talk but I do the questionning and he likes to answer.
it seems as if I'm the only one interested in him.
It's bothering me...
how can I change that? make him curious and more interested in getting to know me.
I want him to ask me questions...

Any advice Guys !!
Thank you.

[kinggeorge007]

I'm same kind of a guy too. I have that as a problem. It's not that we are not interested. Personally I just don't want to be a creep by asking so many questions.

But since your guy isn't a silent type one (according to your other replies) Just curious to know what's the big deal here? He is talking much enough, he starts conversations. He is being interested. He just don't ask questions. If you want that asked, as someone else told you; just tell him "okay, I have been asking questions all the time, now it's your turn" like that. Ask it like a game or something. He will get it.

And I need advices to overcome the problem. I think you are the best one to ask. What do you expect from kind of guys like us?

[Asker]

I wish he'd ask me something from time to time , not all the time... you know in context. like if we're talking about clothes or something and he notices I wear blue most of the time and he asks : "So... Blue is your favorite color?" or "you really like blue?"
I'm not asking for an interview...

[Leos123]

Maybe I can relate to this guy? I'd want to ask her questions and know more about her. But I always end up sharing my own views. All she has to do is trigger words like chocolate, coffee, trading, ethics, or anything within my scope/interest. Maybe it's just the flow. He's a professorial type who loves to answer, share his opinion and views on thing.

If on MYer-Briggs, he must be this one: https://www.16personalities.com/intp-personality

[Asker]

it's that kinda cold?

[Leos123]

Hmnn. Why?

[NyomiMcClinton]

Well, let me first say this. If I am the one doing the initating through texting and I find that he isn't asking me any questions or starting conversations that are geared into getting to know me. I will cut him off immediately, thats a red flag for me. And its something that I do not have the patience to deal with. I like someone you shows interest in me without me having to beg him to show me attention. A guy should want to do that automatically.

[Asker]

He texts me everyday xD that's the crazy parts. I'm the one hat has to"drive" the conversation from there. Once a topic is struck he won't stop.
All I do is ask...

[Idk786]

Maybe he's just shy honestly i can tell how u feel my boyfriend was like that but honey things will be better he loves u believe me :3 me and my boyfriend got over this already its been 3 years of us dating now i found out he was just shy of saying anything that would hurt me or make me hate him XD JUST the fact that he msges u first is enough to let u know he loves you :)

[Asker]

*sigh*
I just want him to let me in a bit... I wanna feel connected to him... I like him a lot. I want us to be together... but it's hard.

[xxrockmexx]

Talk to him face to face. Use texts as a discreet way of asking short questions like "When are we meeting" and things like that. I just started dating an older guy who doesn't spend a lot of time on his phone and always sends short messages. I quickly figured out that just asking him short, direct questions, he responds faster.

[Asker]

the thing is we don't get to meet very often. and when we do he's very sweet. he likes to lift me up and kiss me, put his arms around me. I had an accident a couple of weeks ago, he was very angry because I told him after I got home from the hospital. he left a work related party to see me and check on me. He's silent unless a topic is struck... he enjoys the silence for some reason...

[xxrockmexx]

Aw, he's sweet.

So why don't you guys see each other often?

[Yogani]

I wouldn't try to make him curious or interested. I mean.. if he likes you it must be because he's interested in you. Maybe that's not lack of interest, but just his way to be. If it was me I'd ask him haha. I would also be very bothered by it. I'd just talk about it with him.

[Asker]

maybe I will :)

[salvichick312]

Either he isn't interested. Or you can be forward and ask him what's the deal. Don't be scared to ask him if you are interested. Sometimes guys just want sex and don't want to waste time asking you person questions. So you ask him. Why don't you ever ask me anything?

[Asker]

I thought about asking him.
I know he's interested. he shows it in other ways.

[salvichick312]

Ask him what's the worst that can happen he says no. I'm sure he won't you say he seems interested. Maybe he's shy to ask you in front of your friends

[Haldris]

some girls talk about themselves and ask questions, some guys are use to that. I tend to find myself a loss at words when asking questions. I love to get to know her and everything, it's just the questions that seem so simple that throw me off. Not sure of this is the same thing though

[Asker]

I really don't know... that's why I wanted to hear some feedback from the guys here.

[Haldris]

Try asking him if there's anything he wants to know about you. Provide some examples and see if he hooks himself to anything, almost lead him into it. Try different approaches to it.

[lovydoey]

Talk to him. Tell him that this bothers u. Like on ur date and when u try to make the conversation going ask him: "hey so, are u okay? Because I feel like I'm the only one making an effort here to talk. Is something on ur mind what's wrong?" And (this is just me) his answer will depend weather I leave him or not

[Anonymous]

very odd. maybe he doesn't know he's doing it. or he's losing interest. need more info on that part. but if he doesn't want to ask questions about you, i'd say he doesn't care about you as a person. in your shoes, if you were interested in someone, wouldn't you want to know more about them? by asking questions? i guess you can just answer your questions you ask him after he answers. like "whats your fav color?" he responds "blue" and you go "guess what mine is" I don't know

[Telekinetic-Potato]

All I can tell you is not to give up. I've had a similar problem and I've found that it doesn't necessarily mean that he's not interested. He could just be fucking weird

[Asker]

Maybe...

[Eternallylucky]

He already learning what you are as a person anyway as you are with him. It is not like he isn't interested. You should make it fun by asking him questions instead. He might be amused. 🙂😋

[Asker]

I do All the time actually and he seemes to be enjoying it.

[lightbulb27]

read a dating book together and share yoru viewpoints. hopefully he develops interest in your mind, generally an older guy would.

[Asker]

He doesn't like those kind of books...

[xxrockmexx]

Wonderful idea, @lightbulb27! I will try that with my guy. ;)

[lightbulb27]

@xxrockmexx Got it from my GF:) Girls are smart. have fun with it!

[jp612612]

It sounds like he's just a bad conversationalist. So why do you like this guy? Like, I would have a lot of trouble dating a girl who was like that and I've indeed met women who seem to have very little to say. If conversation is a big deal to you then I think you might want to consider how you'd feel about having to always drive the conversation.

[Asker]

why do I like him? He's nice, caring , educated, handsome, cute at times, confident, honest... sometimes I wonder why he's with me.
We do have deep conversations. all I have to do is ask A QUESTION. he won't stop explaining and giving examples... I enjoy it. he has interesting views on things.
But you're right. I don't want to always be the one to drive the conversation. he does text first and ask about my day all the time. but it's up to me to "drive the conversation from there". I decided not to talk to him or respond for a day. he kept texting me, so I reply briefly with yes or no. he asked me why I was so quiet and if I was okay...
I really like him but I don't know what to do... I feel lost

[jp612612]

You know, I think it's just going to be one of those things where you have to decide if you can put up with it or not. I mean, there are many women like this. People often call them "shy", but I think that that doesn't really explain the behavior. I personally couldn't stand it and it's not something that people seem to be able change very often.

[Asker]

*sigh*
I agree.
It's just I'm not sure if he's still interested. If I only knew that. making the decision would be easier.

[jp612612]

I truly don't think it has anything to do with his level of interest. Like if this is the only issue, then I'm pretty sure he's very interested in you. It's just the type of conversationalist he is. Like I said, there are lots and lots of women like this too and it has nothing to do with their interest in you.

[Asker]

It's a tough one. I don't know how much I can hold...
can't I tell him how I feel? or what I want?

[jp612612]

Sure you could, but usually people can't really change a personality thing like that. it doesn't hurt to try, but it's like telling a shy girl to not be shy. It might work, but i wouldn't count on it.

[Truthatanycost]

The best way of making someone curious and interested in you, is to be curious and interesting...

[Asker]

I guess I'm not that interesting to him...

[pervertedjester]

We talk less because we've learned actions out weigh words 90% of the time... or we're bored of our stories.

[Asker]

they do. but but but...

[pervertedjester]

You don't need to rush the questions or answers in a relationship, everything is explained in time. For now he may just be enjoying the mystery of you, like a good book you don't want to skip to the end of.

[NajemEddine]

he knows about you more than u think guys likes to observe and conclude more than asking

[Asker]

why?

[NajemEddine]

much easier than asking
moreover women like to add lots of details
ie : q : where is my car keys
a : (by a woman ) its right before you , my bff jennifer bought a new dress from...

[Confusedd_]

He's probably just a narcissistic asshole. -from experience. A good guy should naturally be interested in your life- you shouldn't have to do anything to make it that way.

[Asker]

I don't think he is... he went crazy when I had an accident and stayed all night with me.
We're from two different countries. he's from the cold side and I'm from the warm side.

[clampfan101]

Ask him if there's anything he'd like to know about you.

[Asker]

*sigh*
Why do I have to ask a person to ask me about myself... that's a bit weird.

[clampfan101]

I know, but maybe he's hesitant about asking. Asking him to ask would encourage him to do more later.

[Asker]

The thought just crossed my mind. I'll him he can ask me anything if he's curious, and that I don't mind answering.
Thank you.

[Anonymous]

How about asking him the question directly instead of using an app you dumbass. You'll have the correct answer at least.

[Asker]

Good idea :x

[likitb4istickit]

Maybe he simply can't think of any he wants to know the answers to. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

[Asker]

I guess I'm not as interesting an I thought I was...

[Spidersandsnakes]

You could just tell him or don't do all the work leave him wanting more

[Anonymous]

U give him sex. He is happy. He gives U money. U are happy. So if the relationship is not broken, don't fix it.

[cinderelli]

ask him to join this site.. maybe he'll learn :P

[Asker]

you think so :P?

[cinderelli]

you gotta try something lol

[Gdude9]

I don’t want to be labeled as creepy

Ever since 2020 my life has been changed completely

[scooogy]

maybe tell him beginnings of interesting stories and make him believe you'd have an interesting life.

[Anonymous]

What's a sample conversation like between you two?

[Asker]

Intellectual I guess. cultural mostly because we're from different countries.

[Opinion Owner]

A sample -
Me -
Him -

A few lines of what, how you two talk to ea other.

[Adigelunar]

it seems he is not interested much

[Asker]

you think?
then why would he text me first everyday to ask about my day or text me good morning and goodnight ?

[DermalPunch]

That means nothing

[Darkdimension]

just when you ask questions, answer them too.

[Asker]

haha

[Ayshea]

He's not that into you.

[Asker]

weird... he just introduced me to his parents today.

[Ayshea]

Meeting the parents is no biggie.

[Asker]

to you maybe

[Ayshea]

Well for me it's a big deal, But for a lot of people especially guys it is not. If he's interested he'd show it.
In the words of Maya Angelou "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

[Asker]

I believe actions speak louder than words. He is a man of action but few words :)

[xxrockmexx]

If he introduced you to them, he is certainly interested.

[TheDevilInside]

Tell him

[TheDevilInside]

Clicked submit too quickly.

Tell him just that. If he respects your frankness, good. If he still doesn't change, forget him and move on. Many people don't know how to hold up a conversation

[kinggeorge007]

I have a little side question. Is not being conversationalist a crime? I mean according to the asker he just don't ask questions. But he talks very much and being interested. So what's the big deal here? (I'm not accusing anyone. Just curious to know)

[TheDevilInside]

@kinggeorge007 you don't have to phrase them as questions but you have to be able to keep the conversation going. And Not make the girl feel as if she was interviewing you. And also show that you are also interested in her.

[WhatWhouldMarieDo]

Umm i d k the i want a text isn't texting

[Anonymous]

he is just enjoying that prize you have sweetie

[Asker]

... what prize?

[Opinion Owner]

the vag of course

[Baussier]

Because you're black

[Asker]

*blinks*