My boyfriend doesn't open up to me?

[Anonymous]

We've been together for over a year. I mean he talks to me if he's pissed off or stressed and stuff like that, but he had a troubles childhood, he was a foster a child. I barely know why he was a foster a child, or what happened. I've asked about it once or twice, and I've said if he doesn't want to answer he doesn't have to because I don't want to upset him. I want to respect him and his feelings. I just feel like I don't know half of his life. Will he ever open up to me? I just genuinely want to know because I want to know the whole of who he is and the person I love, not just what's occured while I've been with him.

[Anonymous]

I feel you... in general it's hard for guys to open up about stuff and it's pretty frustrating for the girl. I'm in the same situation my boyfriend and I have been together for more then a year and he had a pretty hard childhood because of his family and because of the "friends" he surrounded himself with. He had to witness something tragic when he was 15 and he's been getting anxiety recently from remembering it again. he talked to me about it but won't open up completely to me on why it's afftecting him so much even though it happened five years ago. All I want is to be there for him and support him and help him in any way but he's not really letting me. anyways sorry I don't have much advice for you but Im dealing with the same type of situation with my boyfriend so I can relate to you.

[Opinion Owner]

Some people may say stop being nosey or he doesn't have to tell you anything but If your serious about him I can understand why you want him to open up because you want to be there for him through his ups and downs. If you love him I can also see why it can hurt you know that he's damaged or still hurt from something from his past.

[Darkarrowangel]

Confessing means a lot of trust, but with time he will maybe open up

[TadCurious]

First of all, it's obvious you really love and care about your boyfriend and you respect his feelings. You sound like a great girlfriend for him to have. As you already know it can be a very tough thing being a foster child and I can understand your wanting to know more about your boyfriend's past. Not because you want to intrude but because you want to be supportive and understand him better. Who knows what he went through and what caused him to be put in the foster care system? It could be things that are very difficult for him to talk about. But with a girlfriend as caring as you sound I think in time he might be willing to open up.

[Asker]

Tha k you for all the advice. One thing that I would like to know is who's last name he has, because he doesn't know his father. I've only asked once, and i could see he didn't want to talk about it so I let it go. But is this an unreasonable question? Say if one day we got married and I took his surname, I would want to know who's name I'm taking at least. I guess I just have to be patient, evwn if it takea years.

[TadCurious]

thank you for MH Guy opinion!

[fortyplusguy]

You say you told him to doesn't have to answer you. You have him an escape. Sit him down on a quiet night and sincerely ask him. Tell him you feel is important to you too know more about him. If he refuses ask him why. There could be a sinister memory. When you go home, make sure you leave with him knowing you want to know. Leave it a few days then follow up. I think if he refuses to tell you, you should be given a reason. Another thing is perhaps he did something rather than something was done to him. It could take some coaxing. I wouldn't expect this to happen overnight. He patient.

[geegre]

relationship doesn't mean you should completely open up with your partner. everyone might have personal boundaries that no one to enter.

[emerald77]

Just give him time.