This guy I hooked up with once has called 30 times in half an hour... what is wrong with him and what do I do?

[Anonymous]

There is this guy I met through a mutual friend a month and half ago. He was nice but I was already with someone kind of, and he immediately booty called me saying he wanted to set it up early. I had seen him out once more but I was with my guy but now me and the guy I was seeing broke up and I reached out to booty call guy for drunk rebound sex (don't judge, I just went through my 1st heartbreak), it was nice and all, we had fun and he left the next day.

He texted me later and the day after (today) and then asked me to out drinking with him and our mutual friend but I stayed in. So he kept insisting to come over later but I said I was tired and had work to do... this guy proceeds to call me, then have our mutual friend call and text me, THEN calls me 30 TIMES and counting in the last 30 minutes even though I haven't answered any of them and I texted him to stop and that I won't answer but he is still calling.

1) HE wanted a booty call originally so what the hell is this.
2) THIS IS LITERALLY CRAZY.

Our mutual friend is one of my good girl friends and i don't want things to be weird plus it would have been nice to have a no feelings thing with limited contact but a once a week to every few weeks booty call but this guy killed it and is on some new level of crazy - remember now I've only seen him in person 3 times.

What is the best way to approach this? I will definitely see him around but I am genuinely freaked out that he would do this. Any advice or insight into this madness would be appreciated.

[Canuck37]

He is obviously madly in love with you. If I was out-of-control in love with a girl, I'd do the same; but fortunately I've matured a bit since those days. He also sounds a bit young and stupid about relationships and the way they work.

If you can wait until he calms down, do so; but if he continues calling you, then you should answer the phone, and tell him that while you enjoyed the sex, you're definitely not interested in a relationship with him, and that you're very creeped out by him bombarding your phone with calls and would like to request that he stop.

If he's simply naive and stupid, then you telling him that he's being creepy will hopefully knock some sense into him and he'll leave you alone. But you also need to be very clear with him that there is zero chance of a relationship. If that door is left open even a little bit, he'll wait a few weeks and then try to start something again.

If you struggle to get him to stop, you can also try to teach him that you have the right to choose who you want to date, that you have chosen note to date him, and that if he truly loved you, he'd respect your choice.

If he comes to his senses, I would encourage you to allow him to apologize to you, and end your contact with him on a good note.

[Asker]

Madly in love with me? You think so? Its just he doesn't even know me so thats why this thing is crazy. I'm sure he's been drinking and everything but I did ask him to stop, I told him tonight was not happening and that i wasn't going to answer. Then he even asked again if he could come over and I told him he's being so disrespectful. Now in total I've gotten almost 40 calls in less than an hour.

[Canuck37]

As an introvert, I have a tendency not to approach a girl I'm in love with until I've been crushing on her for months, inside my own head. That was incredibly detrimental to my dating life while it was happening, because I ended up falling in love with a picture of her in my head that didn't match reality. But I was very much in love with what I thought she was, despite very little social contact between my crush and myself.

I'm still 100% positive that he's madly in love with you. And I also think that you shouldn't pursue a relationship with him.

[Asker]

Yeah I mean I can understand that. But he's seen me choose another guy over hooking up with him and he's the one who defined it was a bootycall from the minute he met me. He's a very extroverted person from what I know. He goes out most weekends, booty calls me, etc. I mean there's a level of experience and confidence that comes with that. But if you were infatuated with one of those girls (despite not knowing her) and she ignored your calls, and told you to stop calling and nothing was going to happen, would you proceed to call her 40 times? (He hasn't stopped) He also had an attitude when I tried to be firm about him leaving me alone. It all sounds like he is possessive, immature, and selfish aka all abusive tendencies especially when paired together.

[Canuck37]

Well I personally wouldn't, because I'm an introvert and I don't do the phone call thing. I'm also much too respectful to call someone 40 times in an hour.

All I can say is that this sounds like a crush gone wrong. Stay safe the next few days. Maybe your mutual friend can intercede on your behalf.

[Asker]

Well he just texted me again saying he's in love with me so I guess you were right. I get being drunk but no amount of alcohol has ever made me do this lol thanks for your input!

[TripleAce]

Just tell him to chill the fu*k out lol
What's the big deal lol
There's no need to play that silent thing lol just speak your mind

[Asker]

I did. I asked him five or six to stop calling me and that he was being extremely disrespectful but he is still calling. The big deal is is that I don't know him. Imagine if he found out I am dating around.. I have no obligation to him whatsoever but I don't know what he is capable of or how crazy he is.

[Dtor4112]

Psycho alert!