I can't believe I called him 50 times. Why am I like this?

I am aware that I am a desperate person but I called him only to ask why he has changed so much? Why he doesn't want to communicate ever? Why does he feel if he won't talk to me I will be fine?
Sometimes I get so lonely I go through mental breakdowns and hence I call him to share things but he is never available.
I only want love. I know I shouldn't have called him so many times.
He says "you don't call me from now on, I will call you.. because when you call me I get irritated and angry"
I don't want to be that clingy girlfriend. I want to show him my worth. What should I do?
I can't believe I called him 50 times. Why am I like this?
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