Why does he keep acting mean/rude towards me but stares at me all the time?

[Anonymous]

Updates

+1 y

So I like this guy in my college (who's in a different class) and well he always stares at me when he thinks I'm not looking and quickly looks away whenever I catch him.

He also finds excuses to hang around me all the time but doesn't say anything just keeps staring at me from afar and ignores me completely whenever I'm near him. We've had eye contact a lot of times.

I've intiatied conversation with him 2-3 times and he always ends up saying mean and stupid things.

Updates

+1 y

He also gets sarcastic and acts like a smart ass. Like he tries to act like an arrogant bad boy or something but he's not like that otherwise and is very nice to all the other girls and people in general.

So why can't he just talk normally to me like he does with all the other girls? It's really pissing me off. I mean if he doesn't wanna talk to me then why stare at me all the time?

[Anonymous]

Define rude/mean. Without much content it can go either way. He either is disgusted and hates you, or likes you but doesn't want to/cant admit it. I've been in your shoe's for 4 years. Even to this day I got no clue about his true intentions. He just didn't want to date a person with weird knees (shallow). I asked if he hated me, and he denied that. So my guess was he liked me, but didn't want to date me and thus turned rude/mean.

Point is: you don't want somebody who plays shitty games like that. If they can't grow up and be at least slightly nice... don't bother. But as I said what is rude/mean to you? Is he teasing you... or being really mean (hurtful) to you?

[Asker]

No he's not being hurtful or really mean. He just tries to act like a smartass or a cocky bad boy or something. But he's not like that with the other girls or people in general.

[Opinion Owner]

Why not confront him about it? Ask him what his deal is?

Perhaps he just has a rough time chatting with you 'cause he's scared to mess up? And thus says mean/stupid things to keep you at a distance. He obviously tries to get your attention by being arrogant/a smart ass since he doesn't do it around other people.

I get that it's annoying that he can't talk normally to you. But as I said, only he knows the answer. Ask him why he can't speak normally to you.

[Asker]

Yeah I guess so.

[Mattytttq]

Sounds like he doesn't know how to express his feelings, this is mostly seen in young kids or just immature people

[Mattytttq]

Sorry, I didn't read the update. So here's a little continuetion...

He sounds like to have some social anxiety, I have it and it happens to me sometimes.

[Asker]

Lol he's not exactly a kid. He's 22.

[Asker]

If he has social anxiety or something then why is he comfortable talking to other girls and people in general? He's a very social and outgoing guy but gets very shy and nervous around me.

[Mattytttq]

Maybe he just has feelings for you and that's why it's only you he get nervous when talking to

[Asker]

Yeah I think so too.

[madgoat]

Because he likes you and doesn't know how to express it.

[Asker]

Are you sure?

[madgoat]

That's just my take on it. Sounds like he's a bit immature but maybe he's worth working on. .. a rough diamond.

[Asker]

Yeah he does seem immature. I don't know what to do though. It's like he's not capable of having a normal conversation with me.

[madgoat]

If he talks to others normally he can talk to you the same.
Maybe talk bluntly to him: Right now, you have my interest. Calm down. You've got a chance at a friendship. Don't blow it with this silliness. I don't deserve it or appreciate it.