How long after asking a woman out and getting a "let me think about it" answer should I wait to ask her again?

Question

After asking out a young woman from my church group, and her telling me "let me think about that", I've been wondering how long I should wait to ask her again for the clarification. I know most will say that's a polite way of saying no, and may very well be the case but the way she acted then and our interactions since then not being majorly different than before make me believe she really did want time to think.

My plan is to wait two weeks and ask her again, if she gives me an answer great, but if it's another "thinking about it" type answer I would explain how I would like clarification, and give her just a couple more days. She is someone I feel is worth fighting for, but also don't want to get caught in a head game scenario either.

chosen1 · Accepted Answer

...let me ask you this dude...are you 2 equally yoked? 2 believers can have the same outlook on the same religion, but 1 can be more "involved" than the other. OK, that last 1 was a little more confusing...let me ask this instead...Does she love God as much as you do? or do you love God as much as she does? going to a Christian school, being a youth leader, and growing up in the church my whole life...make me a little bit different from other girls. Ya, I'm attracted to hot guys, and ya, I want a guy who believes in the same beliefs as myself...BUT, there is still some differences in these traits that can make me choose otherwise. I can live in the world, and look at hot guys all day...but when I'm thinking realistically as to what God wants for me...i know it's a Godly man. So when I'm thinking the way God wants me to think...there are different "turn-ons" in Godly men, that differ from worldly men "turn-ons". It is a huge turn-on, when a guy knows his Bible. I mean, when you ask a guy a question about God, or a situation...and he knows where to look, and which direction to point you in...is a bonus. A guy who can worship and sing out loud, as if he and God are the only 2 in the room is another big one. I like that a lot. Girls notice that type of stuff...i mean ya, it's awesome that you make it an obligation to go to church on the regular, but doing it all for the right reasons most def shows...a Godly girl, wants a sincere man. If you cannot love God the right way, then how can you expect to love HER the right way? She sees this stuff dude, for real. But if it's the other way around...where you're the stong/active believer, then why go back a few steps...God's will is for you to be with a Godly woman, who's on the same "level" with you. God made woman for a man, not a man for a woman. He made women to be a blessing for a man. How can she lift your spirits, if you're the one always having to lift hers? you need a Godly woman...a STRONG Godly woman. and if this chick didn't give you a yes or a no, don't worry about it. God works things out for the good of those who love Him, right? Singleness is a gift from God, so you can focus your extra time and thoughts on Him...when He feels you're ready for a woman, He'll make sure the one He's had for you (since before the earth was even made) comes into your life. but when you're ready, and she's ready. You gotta focus on Him right now...whether or not she's in the picture. I'm telling you from experience. I'm STILL waiting for my husband...after a lot of false alarms, or guys I 'thought' were the '1' for me...now, all I want is a man, who loves God as much as I do. Pray about it dude...and God will show you. Love Him, and she'll come in, right at the perfect time. so leave all the "right timing" and "should I's" to Him...He already has it all planned out. Fa sho. I know this isn't what you wanted as an answer...but it just kinda came out. know THE truth, so A truth, won't mislead you. God Bless man.

Kaylife · Accepted Answer

its not always a no...i have told guys to let me think about it...often girls say that...making you wait is just something some girls often like making guys go threw...

She may already no if her answer is a yes or a no...if it is a yes she don't want to seem desperate and easy but just saying yes so fast...

It could be a no...and she hoping you for get about asking her...but to make sure keep talking to her but don't bring it up for a week or 2...but don't wait to long yourself...im a girl myself and often we are confusing and wait to long and is to late to give an answer.

YellowSidewalkChalk · Accepted Answer

im not sure but if you really are into her be persistent. personally when I say that I mean no. however, I may tell him to check back or give me his number. I have done that before. I honestly wasn't sure that I wanted to be dating anyone so I just said look you give me your number and ill call you when I'm ready. if you're still free we can work something out. and we did. I would wait a couple days then check back with her.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Whoa...careful. I know you like this girl, but from an outside perspective this has RED FLAGS written all over it.

Bro let me tell you something. When a girl says "I'm confused" or "I'm not sure" or something along the lines of what she said above it's womanese (their foreign language) for

"You are a good guy but I'm not into you, but I don't want to deal with my conscious and feel guilty for rejecting you. So I'm going to be "nice" and wishy washy/halfway hoping that you get the hint". It's unfortunate women believe this is a "nice" way of doing things...because every guy knows it's the worse way to handle things. But that's how women are programmed.

She's offered to go on a date with you because she doesn't want to feel guilty for turning you down. Also she sent this on Facebook! That's a bad sign because FB is impersonal. She also took a long time to send you this (BAD). She doesn't have the guts to talk to you directly. If she was really into you she would at least text you but more likely call or talk to you IN PERSON.

You need to be mysterious and challenging to her. My suggestion is to respond with this "Hey so and so. Thanks for getting back to me. Hey I think you are a cool girl and I'm glad I got to meet you. But since you feel unsure about things I'm think I'm just going to chill a bit, not worry about the date and just be friendly when we meet and that's about it. Don't worry about anyway...I'm cool with it".

After this DO NOT get in a deep conversation with her. You will only screw things up more. Keep your distance. Smile and say hello if you run into her. Talk to other girls etc.

I know this is easier said than done. But girls like mysterious/challenging guys. Give her a few weeks and I guarantee she will likely text you or even talk in person. Reason being you are putting her in position were she could LOSE something great. That regret will drive her to come to you.

Remember the ball is in her court right now. You have to have self control and play it cool. I would NOT go on a date with her right now. She WILL be testing you and/or just doing this to alleviate her conscious. She IS going to look for reasons to dislike you if you go on a date with her. Remember what he mindset is right now. Women make up excuses for guys they like, they search for reasons to dump/avoid/ridicule guys they dislike. Don't be the latter.

Do NOT listen to any girl below who tells you differently.

tex151 · Accepted Answer

What exactly did you say to her? Did you say something like do you want to go to dinner on Friday, if you said the words do you want to, or can I take you out, or anything else along those lines, you gave her a choice. If you give a woman a choice, she has the option to say no. Most of the time if you ask a her she will give the answers I don't know, maybe, or even let me think about it.

If a woman said that to me, I would so OK you have five seconds to think about it, and then say well five seconds is up, it's settled you are going to dinner with me Friday night at 7:00, I will pick you up and I will choose a place, and guess what you can buy me dinner, na I'm kidding I will pay. And if you think about it you have nothing to lose, you get a free meal and your going to have a fun time with me, I promise.

If there is one thing you need to know about women, they hate making decisions, every single chick I have ever met or dated couldn't make a decision to save her life, always always make the choice for her, when it comes to a date.

swagger · Answer

Well I must say that looking at most of the ladies responses here I'm f***ing confused. Can you please enlighten us Men on how you tell the difference between "playing hard to get" and "ask me later---*this is your cue to never ask again off* ".

You ladies can't have it both ways and we cannot read minds so when you're next laying in your bed wondering why he hasn't called, remember this; It's more than likely that it's the games that you insist on playing that have made him lose interest or caused him to be totally confused.

Anonymous · Answer

I give about a 95% chance it means NO. She's just too weak/girly to be direct about it. She also might be trying to avoid losing you as a friend. Unfortunately you will be friend zoned forever.

I commend you for have the courage to ask her out. I know you are disappointed, but don't let it get you down.

My best advice is just smile and say "hello" when you see her. But talk/flirt with other girls...especially in front of her. She might want to get in a conversation with you to alleviate any guilt/regret she has about turning you down. Don't give her that luxury. Even if you are tempted to chat with her because in the back of your mind you got a hope "what if..."

Remember if this girl had high interested level in you, she would have said yes in some way.

Look up "doc love" on the internet. He gave me some good advice.

TexPlayboy · Answer

Never. She was trying to be polite. If she was interested she would know without thinking too hard. Pick a different girl. This one might come around when she sees you moving on.

You might suggest a group setting, if you think she just needs to have a less personal time of interaction.

Good Luck,

James

basilleaf · Answer

If a guy I wanted to go out with asked me out, I would say yes right then

If a guy I didn't want to go out with asked me out, I would say no right then.

She probably likes you as a friend but is sad to let you down.

TornApart · Answer

some guys don't know this. but we usually can't wait, unless it was a bad date. I would wait like about 2-3 days, usually. however I don't care if it is sooner

caleb399 · Answer

There is something to be said for "the chase" and then there is just plain desperate and borderline stupid. I'd start considering other options if I were you.

Killfest400 · Answer

I'd wait a week, and ask her again.  If she still puts it off or doesn't accept, move on.  She's either not interested or just toying with you.

Kaylife · Answer

thats good...bc I did that b4 started off on dates with the guys because I was not sure and we later ended up going it for quite sometime

moaterboat · Answer

Odds are that's a no, in the slim chance it isn't, the right thing to do would be to wait for her definite answer because the ball is in her court.

Reeses-pieces777 · Answer

I'd wait at least a week and if she hasn't called by then, you would know your answer by then.

jimi_s · Answer

I vote for half of a second, a quarter of a second give and take!

Anonymous · Answer

don't ask her again. the ball is in her court. it was most likely a polite way of saying no. just accept it.

trollfacejpg · Answer

Get your head out of your ass. It IS a polite way of saying no, and the way she acted is the same way all girls, no matter how repulsed, would act in said situation.

Anonymous · Answer

sorry man usually means no  I learned the hard way

nattyaimee · Answer

i say don't give up. I usually would wait til the next day.. ii like to know their keen

Anonymous · Answer

let me think about it could either mean no or she wants to see what her friends think about it. but its probably a no.

Anonymous · Answer

she might need some time or wanna to see if your patient  thats my opinion ,she might think different

noricat · Answer

You don't. You move on and forget her.

ToughTurtle · Answer

That's the nice way of saying no sorry :(

TokyoDrift · Answer

dont ask her again, I mean still talk to her.

jimi_s · Answer

I stand corrected!

How long after asking a woman out and getting a "let me think about it" answer should I wait to ask her again?

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