Why is a really hot girl talking to me?

[Anonymous]

I'm an average looking guy. She is in my college class, and she's been calling me every night to talk to me, for the last week sometimes we talked for like 4-5 hours till late at night. She already has a boyfriend and they are in a long term relationship. She always asks for help in HW but then we start talking bout other stuff and how she is having trouble with her boyfriend, and it's not always about that she is always interested in what I say, about myself or my stories, and she listens.

But I just can't figure out why of all the people a Very nice, Smart, and beautiful girl is talking to me?

[Brando]

Well there's always that possibility she likes you and doesn't see things with current boyfriend going far, so she's trying to get to know you. But honestly man, this sounds dead up like the "big brother" type situation that some guys end up in.

I know it sounds harsh, but you should STOP listening to her talk about her boyfriend. Even if you have to say that you have to go when she starts talking about her boyfriend, do it. Otherwise she'll "cry on your shoulder" then go off to find another love interest.

I wouldn't normally say to do this, by try flirting with her even if she has a boyfriend. Start showing that you're attracted to her and that you could care less that she has a boyfriend. If you play the "nice guy" and listen to her boyfriend issues, then you'll feel like you're getting used. The relationship is between her and her boyfriend, so tell her to talk to him about it. You shouldn't have to hear it if it isn't your problem. Again, that sounds harsh but it'll save you some heartbreak later on.

Just generally be friendly with this girl and don't be intimidated by her. I mean after all, she is talking to you and calling you. Don't assume yourself to be in a lower "league". Don't be afraid to tease her and have fun with her.

[Asker]

You may be right, but she mostly never talks about her boyfriend unless they had a fight, oh yeah and they are in a long distance relationship

[Brando]

Then she might be feeling the distance is becoming hard to handle. This is a touchy situation as she may be confused as to what she wants. And again, she could just see you as a friend to talk to since her boyfriend isn't around. I say do what the answer above me says: just work up the courage and tell her what is listed above. Tell her that you like her, but you don't like hearing about her boyfriend issues. That should clear up some confusion. Stay away from her for a few days if you need to.

[etherealcloud]

Her "hotness" is the only differentiator in all of this. If she was just an average jane you probably wouldn't be asking "why is this really plain and average girl talking to me?".. Because that would just be reduced to : "why is this girl talking to me".. or "why is this person talking to me"..

Try to think of it from the other side of the fence.. From "her" perspective she's probably not thinking "why am I talking to this (relative to her) not-as-attractive guy?" The fact that exceedingly good looking people are rare would mean they would all be pretty lonely and isolated if they restricted themselves to ONLY talking or associating or expressing interest (platonic or otherwise) with people who were equal or above their "hot" level..

If you started talking to a girl that wasn't as good looking as yourself, and you liked her as a friend, she'd probably think or ask herself : "why is a better looking guy talking to me"..

So to answer your question, you are putting more of an emphasis on physical attraction while she probably isn't.. But it could be a number or reasons why she likes talking to you.. including friendship, someone to expose her feelings to, or maybe more..

[SAR2be]

you say your average and that she is hot! well first off, I m the same. I think I m average. yet I hear guys say I m hot. so maybe what you shoud do is think about her. maybe she doesn't feel hot and thinks she is in your.

have you told her what you described her as in your question. that would make her smile I know it. :)

[donnie]

Why are you thinking that way? Do you think that you're not worthy enough to get a hot girl's attention? I believe she likes you.

[Itskimy]

Maybe she likes you as a buddy for right now. Not every attractive girl wants the model material boyfriend

[JohnGPL]

Well, in general you shouldn't tell yourself a girl is out of your league. It's her job to decide what league you're in. Aside from that, if you're uncomfortable with the possibility of just being good friends with her then you should say something. You could say something like, "Do you like me? Because I like you, and it bothers me when you talk about all the things that are wrong with your boyfriend when I'm right here and I would treat you so much better." That's the only way you're going to stop worrying about it.

Worst case scenario, she stops talking to you. Big woop. Now you don't have to listen to her relationship sob stories. On the other hand, she might dump that loser and go for you. But only if you summon the balls to man up and say something.

[Anonymous]

She likes you, plain and simple, just how much and in what way I don't know. Girls tend to like guys more for their personality, sense of humor, loyalty, honesty and the like. I going to go as far as to say that women in general are not as shallow as guys, but guys are wired to go more for the looks first then figure out the personality traits. I'm in the same boat, kinda. I'm having an affair with a beautiful woman who is 31 and I'm 52 and about 30-35 pounds overweight. She's an exotic dancer, and is the hottest girl in the club. She's even a little taller than me, but you know what? She REALLY likes me, and it has nothing to do with looks, it's all about personality.

[RickJW]

well its obvious your an idot or gay either is fine life will swallow you whole if it hasn't already. Let the boyfriend screw the relationship that doesn't need any help of yours esspecially seeing as how you don't know why she is talking to you if you start trying to spit them up they will probably get married and have three kids. and its great she listens don't fall into the friend zone

[fromstudent2master]

shes attracted to soemthing about you. Don't act like a dumbass and don't try to impress her. Do what ever you already do, ask her out on a date. Take her somewhere unique and put your brain in cruise control.

Ignore her a bit and tell her that your not a duimping ground for empoitions when she asks you. If anything you want your own chick that you want to talk to for hours on the phone and not someone elses. So pick a hot girl that's a friend of hers and tell her to introduce you.

[bubbleboy]

Ohhh man, needs help with HW and complains about the boyfriend? That doesn't sound good. I'm leaning towards the dreaded best guy friend label. Not ruling out her interest--there's a possibility for everything.. but it really sounds like the former.

[misterbill71]

she MIGHT like you, but more than likely she sees you as a safe platonic guy friend. What you describe has all the signs of a "nice guy" deep in the "friend zone". but I truly hope I am wrong.

[That-Guy]

I agree, sounds like platonic nice guy friend to cry to while I Fck his best friend style.

Or she thinks you are joto. Either way, go meet her friends.

[lvax06]

you go with Brando on that one, I say that because it sounds like you are in college. or she could be maturing and see that you are what she is looking for now. try flirting and see where it goes.

[eidahl]

She's using you as a shoulder to cry on while she screws someone else that hasn't earned it like you have. :/

[Ugly_Guy]

Ditto. Common practice by most girls!

[aidsleen]

LOL

i agree girls do it

but I wouldn't put it like you did

he has done nothing to deserve it.

plain and simple I'm the nice guy.

i like being the shoulder to cry on.

i turn down sex from some girls.

2 being girls that were very attractive

all being girls that under proper circumstances I would have sex with.

you need to question your own motives behind being that 'shoulder to cry on'

if making them your girlfriend is it, then redraw your strategy.

[eidahl]

Someone do it to get plus points with the girl, you do it for your ego. Which is better? Who cares? =P

[sonic241928]

Why shouldn't a very nice, smart and beautiful girl talk to you?

[cyrus7]

I would say that you've become the gay best friend...

[Longshot]

She likes you or is at the very least interested.

[jessi1988]

Maybe, she likes you !

[sillysally]

um... she likes you ?!?!

[Anonymous]

she could also be using you

[Anonymous]

shes attracted to your personality .