I broke my boyfriend’s trust, how do I win it back?

Question

My boyfriend and I share everything. We know everything about each other. He is super secretive, so am I. However, he told me a secret about his bestfriend sexually harassing a work colleague. His bestfriend hangs out a lot with my bestie. I told my bestie about this behaviour. I broke my boyfriend’s trust by telling this secret to my bestie. I only told her so she stays safe but she went and told everyone. Now my boyfriend won’t ever tell me anything... how do I gain his trust back..

i feel so bad. My bestie chose her boyfriend over me and I ruined everything between my boyfriend and me because of her, telling the world. I feel pathetic. How do I undo this..

steef4000000 · Accepted Answer

Time and good intentions
But more important is that you tried to do the right thing.
so talk to him about it
Apolegize for how things turned out.
ask if it had consequences for him other then broken trust.
And you can always try to make it up to him (make up sex) can work wonders or so i have heard.
and you can always tell him that you can relate with haven your trust broken since your friend turned out not so trust Worthy as you thaught either in a humorfull way.
And if all else fails let him do the same thing with one of your secrets to his friend.

But only you can deceide how far your willing to go to try and fix the trust

LeFrogDog · Accepted Answer

You made a mistake but it's not the end. He will be salty about it and it will take time. It's not the mistake but what you would do about it next time is key. One day he is gonna trust you with another secret and at that point you will know what not to do. Till then communication is key.

Yakasmashi · Accepted Answer

Well you shouldn't have told your bestie... yeah u wanted her to stay safe but... at least say something like stay away from this person because... he did this that or just say stay safe but damn u don't need to blurt out what ur boyfriend told u

In order to win his trust u will need to speak to him again apologized to him and explain why u did it... and ask him how can I win your trust back... If u don't want to do it... the way my boyfriend know something is wrong if I don't eat , drink , talk , and or ignore him...( Do it in front of him and he will know something is wrong )
But communication is also the key

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If anything this is a lesson for you to learn. When you open your mouth, watch what you say because secrets are bound to be spread like wildfire which is why they are called secrets. And at the end of the day its on you for spreading it.

BrittBratt2416 · Accepted Answer

All you can do is apologize, if he doesn't accept it then just take it as a life lesson when move on to another relationship.

SilentCurse · Answer

Trust is gained through communication. Talk to him about the situation and how you were just trying to make sure your friend was safe.

And in my opinion if he gets mad at something like that, he is a shit person.

If my bestie came to be tell me he was doing something he shouldn't. I would sure as hell tell him he's a Pos.
And to knock that shit off.

Now granted we do not have the other side of the story fr ok m his friend and himself.

jxhoncho66 · Answer

Tbh as a guy I understand why you told your friend. Don't want her dealing with somebody like that. You should've went to your boyfriend fiest before telling that tbh tho. I don't know if he can but it doesn't sound too bad. When I first read this question I thought you did something like seriously bad. Just apologize tell him you understand you fucked up and hope he can trust you again and reassure him nothing like that will ever happen. Although I feel he should understand your need to protect your best friend. He probably got into it with his friend that's why he's so mad

Anonymous · Answer

A broken glass can be repair but there will always be that small crack. It was your mistake because he trusted you yet the friend you told didn't hold her ends and told everyone. What you can do it build up the trust slowly and it will take time but you need to show him that you won't do it ever again. I know how you feel because I am also very sensitive when it comes to trust since for me If I lose trust on someone than its very hard for me to trust them again.

fetbobo · Answer

Hey its okay to make mistakes... there is no love without trust. If you think he loves you and you love him, don't do anything asides apologising. Let him tell you something because you deserve to know and not to prove his trust and vice versa

Caaarl · Answer

Your boyfriend is the one who's wrong by hidding someone's bad behavior. If his friend really did sexually harass someone he should be kept accountable.

boggboss · Answer

U are lucky he is still with u I woulda broken up with you if I was your boyfriend shits crazy must be 18

JoesCuriousBrain · Answer

You stop gossiping like a little fucking girl for one and learn to keep a secret a secret. You prob cost a good guy his job and your relationship is prob next to go.. bravo how'd justifying breaking trust to "keep your friend safe" work for you?

freakyxbunny420 · Answer

Say u didn't want anyone to get hurt by it obviously your friend doesn't know how to handle it if its actually bad the girl will come out

dazsars · Answer

You can't just gain it back. It takes a long time. Just prove to him that you are loyal to him over however long you two are together

uniqueandme · Answer

You just have to give it time, I don't think you can gain someones trust any other way.

com2us · Answer

Tell him your passcode to your phone and let him look through it. Assuming you don't have anything to hide, let him find nothing and that should gain some trust back in you.

You don't have to take this advice I'm just suggesting it.

codycccccc · Answer

You could go old school and throw your ass on the mercy of the courts

duckster · Answer

Let him know your sorry, but its up to him to choose forgiveness you can't force that but present him with the option.

torwulf · Answer

Time. You really can't do anything except for just avoiding breaking it again.

iamnash · Answer

Next time try to not tell anyone. I understand besties tell each other everything

Anonymous · Answer

if he is harassing someone you saved this girl, there is the real issue

PussiCatNeko · Answer

You don't! Once its gone you ain't ever getting it back. Hell no!

Anonymous · Answer

Hey Joes don't be a dick , she had good intentions and for the actual question just wait it out and try to just give him space , but not to much space.

Anonymous · Answer

For some people if you lose their trust you can never get it back

Anonymous · Answer

Tell him it was the besties fault the secret got out.

I broke my boyfriend’s trust, how do I win it back?

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